Tag Archives: zumba

i chickened out

soooo
i sent an email to the Zumba instructor telling her that i couldn’t make it for tomorrow night.
i did however mention that i was very interested and if she could offer me a different night…i would love to come.

i didn’t lie lie.
perhaps just a little white one.

i really am not available to go tomorrow night.  why you might ask?
my anxiety about doing this is through the roof.
i mean palms are sweating, heart is racing…i feel shaky and sick to my stomach.
and this is something i’ve been dying to do for over a year.

i am telling you – that first gym i joined back in the stone ages really did a number on me.
that is why i am still amazed to this day that i can go to my current gym on my own.
don’t let me fool you…there are days i walk in there and i feel sick…and sometimes it takes everything i have not to walk outta there…
but i don’t.

these are the things i don’t divulge on my blog – which maybe i should – because maybe someone will tell me i am not alone.
because i really feel alone in this anxiety.

i don’t know if i mentioned my first ever gym experience.
i would walk past it in a hurried pace, and even manage to have full blown panic attacks.  back in the day it was more often than not that i would experience panic attacks
the gym was full of higher up management, who wore the best of the best and applied fresh make up for their workouts.
they would eye you up and down – and especially liked to look at you when you were naked – getting changed into your lower class work out gear.
it was horrible.  the whispers, the smirks.
thank god i had a huge crush on someone at the gym – because that’s all that got me to go there as much as i did.
as i probably don’t need to mention to you – i stopped going.  i kept paying but i stopped going.

I have accomplished much in terms of my anxiety when it comes to all things gym related
i mean i actually go to a gym…hello.  i don’t think people pay attention to me there…and that’s what i like.
i get on a bike or an elliptical – and use a quiet room for weights – which i should also mention – if there are too many women in the room i don’t do the weights.
yes, my anxiety still exists.

Zumba is a whole other ball of wax.  You are putting a woman who has no rhythm in a dance type kind of class.
i have zero rhythm people.  other than chair dancing but of course – or when i’ve had a few drinks i really believe i have a crap load of rhythm!!

i digress.

i am not giving up.  i just need time.
i sent off the email cancelling tomorrow night with the intention of going to the next class.  and i will.
i just chickened out.
and now i think i just feel worse.

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zumba baby

i feel like i haven’t been here in forever
has it been that long or are the days flying by at warp speed?
either way – it feels like forever.

life has been busy.  but then again what’s new right? seems like that’s the story of my life lately.

i have been too busy to even get my butt to the gym lately…that’s how busy i’ve been,  every time i plan on heading there
something happens.  and no, it’s never all that good.

the past couple of weeks have been a blur, but i am hoping things are going to get better!!!

my poor baby kitten is at the vet.
i got home last night and noticed she was limping.  then her limping turned into – just not walking.  at all.
everytime i put her on her little feet, she would just lie down.  all she did was sleep.
i thought for sure one of my other critters got to her…and so i gave them attitude all night…
i contemplated taking her to emerg…but i thought i’d wait till the morning.

so we went to the vet this morning…and he couldn’t figure out why she “couldn’t” walk etc
till he took her temperature.
my baby has a fever of 105!!!!!  he had to ice her…and give her fluids.  so no she wasn’t hurt…
she wasn’t walking because she just couldn’t move.
my poor baby
as of this moment i am told her fever is gone…and i will get to take her home with me tomorrow

sigh.
i miss her so.

on to other news more blog related…i decided to take things into my own hands
i’ve been saying that i want to take Zumba classes forever now and haven’t done a thing about it.
well a couple of weeks ago after looking on line for what seemed like forever…i found something local (which believe it or not is not that easy to do)
i mean a 10 min drive away.
so i sent the instructor an email and waited and waited and waited.
well…she got back to me tonight!  turns out she missed my email – how she has no clue
anyways – she has invited me out to her class to try it for FREE!  first class is on her!!  i think – wait…i know that i am going to say yes!
i am kind of excited about it!  it’s really late at night though so that may be a struggle, but i am normally up till the wee hours so really, i’ll be doing something productive

anyone here ever Zumba?  you likey like?

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gone and done it

it’s true.
i am now officially a member of the gym!
 
my friend and i went in to meet with the owner of the gym on Sunday.
we got the full tour and i must say i was impressed.
 
let me remind you that i was a member of this gym for TWO years.
In that 2 years i did not step foot in there once.  not once.
they were in the process of building the gym, and i bought my membership before it opened…with good intentions.
i did not go once.
ugh, what a waste of money!
 
So…i am gonna do it kids!!
 
the best part of this is the classes they offer – and they are included in the membership.
they have yoga, zumba, pilates, body training, spinning…and so much more.
they even have hot yoga!  (only the first class is free…after that it’s 10 dollars every 2 weeks if you want to do it)
 
So Thursday we have a one hour consultation with a personal trainer and then a one hour consult with a nutritionist
i could not be more excited!!!
 
what a change in mind set!  wasn’t it just a couple of months ago i wrote all about not ever joining a gym?
 
i think i have finally realized my limitations working out at home.  Not that i don’t love Turbo Jam…because i do.
it’s done wonders for me…my body…my health…and of course has contributed to my weight loss – big time.  i think more so than my diet.
but i am at a point where i need to take things up a notch.  i need to incorporate weights, do different work outs…
get ripped!!
 
my goal is to rock a bikini this summer.  and i mean rock it – i so did not rock the bikini on my vacation looking back lol
i want to feel confidant enough to frolic on the Greek islands completely naked.
so when the personal trainer asks me what my goals are…that’s what i will tell her
i want to feel confidant enough to frolic naked 🙂
 
it’s different this time.  i think i know better the value of my money.
I am not going to waste my money, but take full advantage of it.
(by the way it’s cheaper this time around then it was when i was a member years ago)
 
so i have goals…and the gym will help me be successful.
i am so excited i could pee!!!
 
and now the fun part
i am going shopping.
getting my work out outfits
as i’ve said before i work out in my skivvies at home…i am sure people at the gym wouldn’t appreciate that
or would they?
lol
 
no lululemon for me…yet. 
i mean i love their stuff…but it’s way over priced…and i hate hate hate that people buy those clothes for the look…and not for the work out
these clothes are designed for you to work out in
not to prance around the city thinking you look fine
 
wow – i went off on a rant didn’t i lol
 
so yeah, clothes shopping tonight.
i am sooooo excited!!!

wordpress counterAnd on to some completely unrelated news – cause i gotta be me…
I finally got the new Adele cd…
I put it on while driving to work…and ended up sitting in the parking lot at work unable to get out of my car, because my ears could not get enough of this album. 15 minutes later and i forced myself to turn it off.
It’s AMAZING.
get thee to a store and buy it NOW. (sorry didn’t mean to be so demanding)


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spinning

my friend has mentioned taking spin classes a couple of times.  each time she has i have felt knots in my stomach.
bee does not do gyms.
nuh-uh
i did do gyms…but it was not a good experience.  i got a discount on a membership through my work many moons ago and to be fair i did go alot at first.  but it was just weird changing in front of higher management….these women saw me naked….
brrr…it was just wrong.
not only that…i felt like i was going to a fashion show instead of a place to get sweaty and gross.
women would be dressed to the nines with make up freshly applied.  seriously.  who does that?
anyways…i got really stressed out with the stares and the whispers…cause i became quite the outcast in my t-shirt and work out shorts
apparently that was not apropo attire.
i got so stressed out that i was having mini anxiety attacks,  so i just stopped going.
the only times i was going was when my work crush was there…sad but true.  anything for some eye candy lol

so then a gym was opening up literally right beside my house.  i thought it was great!!  fresh start, close to home…no excuse.
i was a member of that gym for two years and did not step foot in there once.  well i did once, and that was to cancel my membership
money well spent bee.

my friend and i were supposed to take Zumba classes.  have you heard of it?  you can read abit about it here
that never did transpire…maybe i should hit her up on the idea again…

so yeah,  not so sure i want to throw myself back in to the torturous world of “the gym”
i get sweaty palms just thinking about it.

meh, i’ll think about it while i’m laying on the beach, sporting my bikini getting sun kissed all over this weekend 🙂
(more on that at the blog next door)

i have a feeling the answer will still be no.

have an awesome weekend kids

This is an awesome song….enjoy.  click me
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