Tag Archives: sick

totally got an ass kickin’

there was no hula hooping, zumba-ing, trampolining done this week.

i think that inhaling and exhaling took more effort than anything.

i got knocked on my ass something fierce…

i came down with something on Tuesday.  it started with an annoying tickle in my throat – and then it felt like i swallowed razor blades – and someone was sitting on my chest,
to some god awful head cold turned to flu.

Thursday – was a hot day.  i do believe it was 31 degrees with the humidex.  i took a scalding hot bath, put on my fat pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt and blanky – and i was still shaking i was so cold.
i actually contemplated turning on the fire place…but it just felt wrong. lol

and then it decided to turn into a full on head cold – again.

of course i was sick.  i had a very important event to attend over the weekend – i’ve been waiting months to go – of course i would get my ass whipped.
i expected nothing less.

but i made it.  na-na-na-na-na you stupid cold – you didn’t win.

i feel much more myself today.  sure i can’t breathe and i am coughing up a lung – but i feel worlds better.

i decided to go grocery shopping, then go out and totally clean my nasty car…i just finished a wonderful dinner i made…and now i am ready to have a chill Sunday.

i am going to make myself an extra spicy Caesar – all in the name of health but of course.

if i am feeling like i won’t hack out my lungs tomorrow – i’ll get my Zumba on

but

based on the pictures that were taken this weekend – mamma might wanna get on the exercise train sooner than later.
yikes!

but for tonight – it shall be a Caesar, perhaps even my new low carb beer i found.  ok so it’s not so new – it’s Molson 67 – with lime.  the lime bit is the new part
i swear there is no alcohol in it tho.
and i will hopefully finish the book that Portia De Rossi wrote – Unbearable Lightness.  my feelings about this book are so all over the place i am sure there will be a blog post about that in the future.

have any of you read it?  thoughts???

enjoy your Sunday night everyone.

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anxious

i am still alive…barely.

i’ve been knocked on my ass by an apparent sinus infection that is spreading to my chest.
it has not been fun.

i’ve been dealing with this for over a week now and am feeling anxious about all the time i have been missing at the gym – and not being able to get out there and be physical.

but i have zero energy.
even working from home has proved to be exhausting.

i am finally on antibiotics and i think they may be working, but they leave me so thirsty and light headed.
well it’s either the the antibiotics or the infection – i am not sure.

although i don’t have much of an appetite, the things i am eating are off plan.  i am trying not to get anxious over that because i think my body is craving these things to get better and heal.

i am overdosing on clementines and i have had comfort food like grilled cheeses (on multi grain bread) and of course some ben and jerry’s.

this makes me feel good – but anxious.

i try to be gentle with myself.  remind myself that there is tons of time for me to get to the gym and my Zumba classes once my body is healthy and strong.

for now i am taking care of it by listening to what it needs…and trying to get as much rest as i can.

as i rest and try to get better – my domestic stuff is falling by the wayside…and that makes me anxious too.

i really can’t afford to be sick.
but i am…
and i am trying not to feel so bloody anxious.

just wanted to stop by and let you all know that i am still alive…barely lol

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change of plans – and a rant if you will

today didn’t go as planned – but life rarely does.

i am battling with what seems like round two of this cold.  it really sucks.
i mean i am functional and all…but this cough is just kicking my ass.
it seems to be going around too – everyone i know is sick

so now that the insomnia is gone – i am still getting no sleep.
every time i started to fall into a sweet slumber i woke up choking – unable to catch my breath
that’s the worst feeling in the world…tears running down my face…ugh it’s crap
how do you fall asleep after that??

so needless to say…i was a little zombie like this morning getting up for work

do you know how hard it is to work from home when you feel crappy and tired – knowing that your comfortable, cozy bed is just down the hall?
talk about a tease
it’s even harder when you have the cutest puppy in the world wanting to snuggle with you.

i got through the day – and once i shut down the work computer i headed straight to my bedroom
i managed a 20 min nap.  better than nothing i suppose.

i crawled outta bed…threw on a baseball cap (and clothes of course…cause that would just be weird)…hopped in the car and met up with a lovely lady for dinner.

they didn’t have my first choice low carb beer – so i settled for this.  notice the picture?  how oh how did they get this picture of me????

i started off with a lovely salad;

and then the most delicious wings in the world.  please note these are not dusted (breaded).  so they are completely on plan and absolutely yummm.

i ended off the night with a starbucks.  i drank it like the complete addict i am and so there is no picture…but i am sure you don’t mind.

so i didn’t have the chance to get to the gym to give them a piece of my mind today…there is always tomorrow
they are already on my blacklist –
our company reimburses their employees a good amount of money if they join a gym
they like to encourage health and wellness
anyways i need to show proof of payment and i get money
when i asked them for a break down of my payments it was just printed off on a plain piece of paper…no letter head
and as i suspected – my work will not accept it.
the owner says they have no letter head.  please.  arg, they really do have me by the balls don’t they?

i hate to be a bitch…but i feel like it’s time i bring out the bitch card.  i see no other way.
my cute smile isn’t working…so what else is a girl to do? lol

AND…why do they keep changing the wordpress layout???  seriously i just got used to the last change and now they throw in another?  give a girl a break already!
anyways – that is the end of my rant.

i heard this song tonight and thought it was pretty…and so i thought i’d share.  click here

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i am shocked

i’m not really

that was just my sarcasm shining through.  and i needed an excuse to use this awesome picture – so it’s all good.

I’m sick.
boo.

i woke up yesterday morning a complete mess.  i just thought my lack of sleep was catching up to me…finally – but it didn’t explain the fever i had all day

someone came around and replaced my pretty little head with a bowling ball when i wasn’t looking.
how rude.

i am not surprised.  not in the least.  with my sleep schedule being all over the map and dealing with random crap thrown my way it was bound to happen
oh, and not to mention that of all the weeks in the year – this being my busiest one…of course i would get sick.
it’s just the way my life goes.

the positive attitude i was sporting Sunday night about my goals and kicking ass at the gym…are on hold.

i was going to go to the gym tonight but i think that requires functioning lungs.
i can’t even spit out a sentence without sounding like a 90 year old asthmatic…and no you cannot crank call me to hear it.

i headed straight home yesterday – and instead of kicking ass at the gym…i put on my fat pants and took a nap.
i guess i need to kick this colds ass before i can kick any other ass.

oh and of course i am traveling in 2 days.  of course i would get sick.

none of this surprises me.

my ass kicking is temporarily on hold – but i will be back

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careful what you wish for

i’ve been begging for some down time.
lately i just feel like my whole life has been go go go.
don’t get me wrong, i actually enjoy being busy.

i’ve actually noticed that when i do have some down time
my legs are antsy and want to move.
amazing how things change when physical activity becomes one of the top priorities in your life.

but i am only human, and as hard as it was to admit
i really needed a break.
a break from everything.  i just wanted permission to be lazy, to catch up on my sleep and not worry about anything.

be careful what you wish for.

i guess all those feelings and thoughts i had…the universe heard loud and clear…
and she knocked me on my ass.
literally.

she could have picked a kinder way, but i guess this was the only way she could ensure i would get exactly what i needed.

I got a really bad stomach bug/flu over the weekend.
really bad.
i remember bowing down to the porcelain god, begging to die.
no joke.

8 hours of being really really sick…and about 24 hours of almost straight sleep…
how much more rest could one ask for?
not exactly what i was looking for.

it sucks being sick on your own.
sure my furbabies were really concerned about me – it was quite cute actually
one of my cats would watch over me while i was getting sick and try to hug me
the other ones cuddled right in to me while i was trying to sleep it off.

really sweet…however none of them got me a cold cloth or water.
in fact…i still had to walk the puppy.
that was fun.
i didn’t think i’d make it…and if anyone was watching me i wonder if they thought i was wasted.

i took sit down breaks while walking her…i was walking as if i drank a little too much
the best part was the elevator ride up.
sometimes the elevator decides to skip my floor and go all the way back to the first.
there are cameras on my elevator – and so i am sure my super was entertained by the mini breakdown i was having.
i just needed to get home…to my make shift bed in the bathroom.

i am feeling better.  meaning i haven’t eaten anything with substance in about 24 hours…so i haven’t been sick
but i feel like i’ve been run over by a dump truck.  over and over and over.
on the plus side…i am sure i lost a pound or 5 lol.

there will be no gym tonight – not tomorrow either at this point.
my body already feels like it had a serious work out.

so i am guessing i am getting all the rest i could possibly need.

thanks universe.  you rock.

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unwell

i could barely hold my head up yesterday
i debated leaving work…but i stuck it out
on the drive home, i kept the window down (thank god it was nice out)
thinking, i could fall asleep at any given moment.
i guess i don’t have to tell you…the gym did not happen yesterday.

i got home and walked the puppy…and talked her in to napping with me
she cuddled into me and we were both out like a light

i was running a fever and really thought i had the dreaded carb flu..from all the ‘bad” food i had the night before

i slept about 12 hours!  i never sleep 12 hours

it was so beautiful out today…i forced myself outdoors
thought the air and the sun would do me some good

after all it was just the carb flu.

oh and the puppy…thanks to one of my cats, who shall remain nameless – Clark
ate my eyeliner while i was away at work
which resulted in my little puppy vomiting a few times in the middle of the night

anyways i took her to the park today and we both got some exercise
but we both weren’t really at our best…or in the mood.

ok..so maybe it’s not the carb flu at all.

i’ve been surrounded by sick people…i’ve been sneezing and coughing
blahhhh
and i just got up from a nap – sorta.
the puppy didn’t think it was necessary and kept giving me kisses and wanted to play
if she wasn’t so damn cute i’d be mad…
but i am just too tired to be mad

so i guess i gotta admit
i have a cold…and it’s running me down…and i’m as white as a ghost
i feel like i could sleep my life away right now.

why do i get sick on weekends?
whatever happened to missing time off of work to deal with it all?

poor me right?

yes, a little cheese with my whine would be lovely.

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tis the season!

i found that being a little “free” with what i eat on the weekends
works well for me.
i allow myself to eat things i generally do not…and it seems to take huge cravings away.

so my big cheat this weekend..(after a kick ass work out might i add) was a chicken sub on a whole grain bread
wow – big cheat ehh? lol
i can’t even cheat right.

it was good and hit the spot and really did not make me feel guilty for straying.

but a couple of hours later???
oh.mah.gawd.

i was not feeling well at all.
i felt sooooo unwell…and there was that reminder why i eat the way i eat.

and you know what’s worse?
as i was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself…i was hungry!!!

that never happens when i am low carbing.

last night i could have eaten myself out of house and home.

lesson temporarily learned 🙂

have you looked outside?  opened the window?
it’s spring out there today!  woohoo!
you know what that means???
BBQ SEASON!!!!!
oops sorry for yelling lol

Spring/summer – my favourite time of year
and also the best time for all your low carb favourites grilled on the barbie.

Sub?  meh, bring on my BBQ’d steak any day baby!

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the hummingbird

when i was thinking about today’s blog, it dawned on me how personal this really is to me.
and how it completely belongs here.

so i guess i kind of lied yesterday.  sometimes, on the odd occasion, you may find a piece of my soul in here.
and i am ok with that.

when i was 17, i decided to get a tattoo.
i guess on the outside i was a typical teenager, wanting to express myself…wanting to find my place.

i was always so much deeper than anyone i knew.  i was an old soul.

i wasn’t going to just mark my body for something to do…it had to mean something to me.
and at that time…and to this day…the hummingbird has meant something to me.

back then, i was ill.
very ill.
the details are much too personal to post here, but it’s safe to say i was not well.
i think the worst part was, i just never told anyone that i was sick.
not my family, not my friends.
i kept it inside, and worried myself to death.

it was a dark time…add an illness – or i should say illnesses
plus the regular drama of teenage life.
i was a lost little girl.

when i looked at the hummingbird, it made me feel alive.
it was small, beautiful, it’s colours so very vibrant.
like me…
like i could be.

but i was dead inside.
black inside.
no colour, no life.

the tattoo represented who i was inside
somewhere in there, there was a healthy girl…alive…vibrant.
waiting ever so patiently to come out and shine.

one day, the inside would match the outside.

20 years have passed since then.
i’ve been plagued with other health issues, struggled through the worry.
3 surgeries later (2 were 4 weeks apart)
and 1 full year of follow ups…
and i am intact.
healthy as can bee 🙂

through the years, the hummingbird has faded, the colours have bled into themselves
and what once was a vision of beauty…became something old, worn and forgotten.

for years i have been talking about getting it touched up.
but there has never been time, or money…there’s always been something more important to do.
but i hated looking at that hummingbird in the mirror
because 20 years later, it looked exactly how my 17 year old self felt.

i was beyond that.
but there was my reminder…staring me in the face every single day.

last night i was gifted something so amazing, i haven’t the words to describe how i feel.
(the fact that YOU knew what this meant to me..that you actually heard what it meant to me, means more than the actual gift itself)

i was gifted with my tattoo.

my tattoo has been touched up and is even more beautiful than i can remember it ever being.

and i feel like i have come full circle.

my outsides match my insides now.

i am the hummingbird.  i am alive, healthy and vibrant and whole.
i am all that i prayed that i could be.

i was thinking about this in the car on the way home…
and i started to cry…without warning.
the tears were the realization, that i have indeed come full circle.

i was so dead inside, and that tattoo 20 years ago made me feel alive.

today…i’m alive.
the tattoo reflects everything…everything i was intended to be.
the healthy, happy, vibrant old soul standing in front of you.

i looked up the meaning of hummingbirds last night, and this couldn’t be more fitting:

In Native American culture, a hummingbird symbolizes timeless joy and the Nectar of Life. It’s a symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible and will teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances.

i’d say that’s pretty much bang on.

Just so you get an idea of what they look like…

here is my tattoo friend prepping me lol:

and here is the before and after pic!

thank you my suprise gift giver.  i love you, you rock my socks!!

if you are in the Toronto area, and want to be inked…be sure to check out:

Phat Buddha
1769 Danforth Ave
Toronto, On
647-352-8818

phatbuddhatattoos@gmail.com

ask for Tyler – ’cause he rocks my socks too.

i know i will be going back again soon…i already know what i want!  i’ve been thinking about it for well over a decade, and tonight it came to me!

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work it!

 

i was thinking about a conversation i had with a friend the other day.
I actually have this conversation quite often.
 
her reasoning for not working out is that she just doesn’t have the time.  I totally get that feeling.  I understand that life is busy.  sometimes i wonder where i will find the time to breathe.
 
but
 
if you want something bad enough…you find the time.  at least that is my school of thought.
 
that was my excuse for years.  i just don’t have time!!  i certainly had enough time to sit at my computer for a couple of hours, or sit on my couch and watch my favourite shows…drinking wine and eating potato chips!
 
it took me many months to get into a routine that works for me.
and working out 5 days a week for me is perfect!!
 
I make working out sound so pleasant and lovely don’t i?
well…in all honestly…i don’t love it.
i love how i feel afterwards, i love the results i see…but it’s a rare occassion where you will see me jumping up for joy on my way home because i am going to work out!
 
same goes for work.  i enjoy the paychecks i receive, and seeing the results of all my hard work.
but would i rather be at home in my jammies?
cha!
 
that’s how i keep myself in check.
my work day does not end when i leave the office.  it ends when i am done my work out.
it is part of my day…part of my “work”.
it is something that just has to be done.
 
that’s how i find the time.  i compare it to my job.
often times i may want to call in sick, but i don’t (i just thought about it and i have had HALF a sick day all year.  way to go bee! )
so often times i want to go home and sit on my couch…but i don’t.
 
it’s my work.
and it works for me.
 
yesterday i called in sick to my work out. first time since i started working out on a regular basis.  i have been feeling unwell for about a week…and yesterday was probably the worst day.
i was able to go to work…but the mere thought of me working my core hard for 20 min had me in tears.
considering it is my belly that is my source of discomfort.
 
And so i called in sick.  guilt free. 
today is a new day.
I’m ready to kick Wednesday’s ass.


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insanity

 

that word was running through my mind last night.
 
actually a quote was running through my mind last night as i was doubled over on my couch in pain:
 
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
 
I’m a little insane 🙂
 
I went ahead and had a stir fry yesterday.
ugh, i know i know.
They are just so damn good!
 
I thought i would play around with it and actually get it without the garlic.  maybe it is the garlic that makes me feel so ill?
says the greek girl – garlic is a food group in my culture!
 
I was good all afternoon.  felt fine.  puurrrfect.
 
I was able to go home and get through a work out and even eat dinner.  and then it began.
 
I am pretty good at learning from my mistakes.  Generally if something doesn’t work for me the first time…i don’t do it again.
simple yes?
 
but this stir fry.  It’s like a sordid love affair.  Like being with someone that you know is not good for you but you keep going back for more and more.
Knowing what you are getting into each and every time…but to hell with the consequences.
 
Yup, my stir fry is my lover.
I just don’t know how to shake it.
Actually the way i am feeling right now…i can shake it no problem.  blahhh.
Ask me again in 2 weeks when i am down ordering lunch…if i can resist the temptation.
 
I’m gonna have to.  15 minutes of pleasure is not worth 2 days of pain.
or is it?????


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