Tag Archives: sexy

i’m too sexy for my jeans

i was gifted the most beautiful jeans the other day
i am not talking about any kind of jeans…
these are high end, hand made, fancy pants
they are soft to the touch, super skinny and super sexy.
these jeans were the same size i have been wearing since the fall.
so off went my pants and out came these jeans…i could not wait to try them on!!!
getting my first leg through proved to be…ummm…interesting.
i mean i know these are “super skinny” but c’mon!!
finally i got both legs in and tried pulling them up.
tried is the operative word.
i was bouncing all around the room, cursing the hips my mother gave me.
of course the puppy thought this was a new game so every time i was able to inch the jeans up…she would try to pull them down.
what a good dog lol
finally about 20 hours later…the jeans were on.
my whole body broke out in a sweat and i was outta breath.
but dammit they were up and buttoned.
and then the following conversation ensued.
gifter – do they fit?
me – umm yes!!!
gifter – do you want to go get a bigger size?
me – NO!!!
gifter – are you sure?
me – no
gifter – k, lets go.
i mean they fit.  they were tight…but isn’t that the look?
so i couldn’t breathe…big deal.
it’s better to look good than feel good no?
ugh. i gotta say…i was a little devastated.
how could it be that a size i could fit comfortably in…was not comfortable?
i get it…that every make is different…
that just because you are a certain size at one store doesn’t mean that you will be that size elsewhere…i get it.
but it still really bothered me.
So off we went to exchange
i went up one size…and they were huge!!!
unless of course you are the type of girl who doesn’t mind having your whole ass hang out when you sit down.
the sales lady convinced me to try the ones i tried on at home again
so she could see how they looked on me.
she grabbed the same size from the rack and off i went.
they slipped on…and were loose.
so, she pulled out the jeans that were originally purchased and checked the tag…
they were two sizes smaller than what i wear!!!!!
they were the wrong size.
so…i went from being deflated to elated
cause my “normal” size was too big…
and i actually went down one size…
i really am too sexy for my jeans!
i must celebrate by buying new shoes!! lol

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the dress

every girl has the dress…ok… and perhaps the odd gentleman lol

but ladies, you know what i’m talking about right?

that one dress that you would give your first born for.

ahhhh the dress.

my dress has been sitting in my closet…for over 5 years now.
it has survived every closet cleaning
because i don’t think i will ever be able to get rid of it...ever.

i remember the day i bought this dress…who i was with…the feeling it gave me when i slipped it on.
the hours i spent staring at it and was amazed that something so beautiful…made me feel even more beautiful…so very feminine.

i was able to wear this dress twice…a few months apart, for 2 different events.
then the dress was never to be worn again….
the joys of getting fat.

it’s beautiful.  the softest material i ever felt against my skin.  it is black, long…with a train at the back..spaghetti straps…and just completely sexy and very form fitting.
it shows off every curve my body owns…and for some reason it actually makes my breasts look huge!!
it is just beautiful.

i have a black tie affair to go to this evening.  i emailed the person hosting this cancer charity event to get clarification on the dress code.  his response was…whatever makes you feel fabulous.
so i thought…awesome!  fat pants it is!!!!

i took the dress out of the closet…grabbed the strapless bra…and did something that could go either way.
either the dress would fit and i would go insane with joy…
or it wouldn’t fit and i would sit in the corner and cry.

it fit kids.
and it made me feel fabulous.

i ran laps around my house screeching like a little girl…woke the puppy from a dead sleep…

i have pics but i am not sharing them today.  the pics were taken when i had no make up on and was extremely stressed to the max about my mom
the dress looks fabulous…but i do not.

if i get any from this awesome charity event…i may just post.

cheers to the sexy black dress that every woman must have!!

on to completely unrelated news…but of course…

i heard this song (thank YOU for posting this on my facebook) and of course i got all weepy. Sara Bareilles has that power over me.

she did a cover of Yellow by Coldplay.  Click here to listen and love.

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