Tag Archives: scale

movin’ on up

i don’t know why i did it this morning.
but i did.
maybe ’cause i woke up in a good mood, from having a good night.  maybe it was all that great inspiration i felt last night.
who knows.
maybe i thought i could handle anything thrown my way…’cause i am wonder woman don’t you know.
all i know is i haven’t done it since January….
and back then it made me feel great…made me feel awesomely amazing.

today not so much.
today it made me feel a little defeated…a little sad
a little pissed right off.

i went on the scale today.
duun dun duuunnnnnn (that’s scary music in case you were wondering)
yep i weighed myself.

I am three pounds heavier than i was in January.
three pounds.

if you feel the need to laugh at me like my lovely friend did… please don’t!
that’s 3 more pounds i have to contend with.

wasn’t it just the other day i mentioned that weight loss was no longer a focus of mine?
pffft
it is now.

i was warned at the gym…well not warned…but i was told that once i started working out with weights i would gain weight…but it would be muscle.
i get that.  i get that it’s a possibility.
i specifically recall my personal trainer asking me if i would be ok seeing the scale move UP because i would be gaining muscle…and i was like “oh yeah, no problem…s’all good”
apparently i am a liar cause this has obviously freaked.me.out.

could it be weight gain because i have been more lenient with the things i eat
ya know…my yogurt…that sinful, tasty sweet and salty popcorn?
is it possible that it’s the forbidden FAT?

i mean honestly…how would you know?  how could you know if it was muscle or fat?

i don’t feel any different. my clothes are not fitting tighter…on most days i feel ok with where i am…unless my hormones are at play.

i told you.  nothing good ever came out of the scale.  i would have been better off living in my own bubble.  my own little world…where scales never existed.

i don’t know why the hell i did that!

this is how i am going to weigh myself from now on!

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me likey alot

since i’ve been going to the gym…
the number on the scale has been going up…and my body has been shrinking.
interesting.

i stopped weighing myself…until the end of this week at least
you know…hormonal stuff and all.

seeing the number rise, makes my blood pressure rise
and then i remember why i never used the scale…
because clothes never lie.

my clothes have felt much looser…especially this week…
which is highly unusual since it’s so close to that time of the month
ladies you know what i am saying.

it’s actually at the point where i have to have one hand readily available while i am on the elliptical
because my pants are soooo close to coming off lol

i can deal with gaining weight and getting muscle in return.  i think that works well for my head.
the more i go to the gym, the more my endurance increases.
machines i could barely do 5 minutes on, i can easily do 35 minutes on
and when i get off, covered in sweat…i feel so god damn amazing.

this is by far one of the best things i could have ever done for myself.
that romping naked on a remote greek island is becoming more and more of a reality
who knows, maybe i’ll give them Texans a little peek-a-boo lol

i hope you all have an awesome night tonight.
you know, it being the day of amour and all.

i am off to see a lady about a new house 🙂
the rest of the evening remains a mystery

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the numbers are in

 

i went to the doctor yesterday armed with a list (that’s a sign that you are getting older when you walk in with a list)
everything went almost perfectly.
almost.
 
I do believe i am as healthy as an Ox. (How healthy is an Ox anyways?) 
My doctor was very impressed with my eating/working out and weight loss.
I do have a work out related issue – apparently an inflamed tendon.  if Advil and ice doesn’t make it go away…a shot of cortisone will.  i told him it was an issue i could live with thank you very much.  no shots for this girl.
 
he is pretty much confidant that my cholesterol levels will show completely normal…and that everything looks awesome (OK, he didn’t say awesome but you know what i mean)
he was pretty much impressed with me…hello…who wouldn’t be 🙂
 
and then the dreaded weigh in.
i looked over at him and said…remember…i don’t want to know what i weigh
just my difference in weight from last year to this year.
So of course….
he told me what i weigh!!!!
insert vomity looking emoticon here.
he told me my weight.
 
if you follow my blog….you would already know i am anti-scales.  I am perfectly content not knowing how much i weigh.
ignorance is bliss kind of thing.
nothing good has ever come out of knowing that information.
 
I am not into numbers.  I don’t want to be defined by a number.  Now that i know what i weigh…i define myself.
my name is no longer Bee – i am # blah blah blah.
 
Everything went running through my head.  Well the number can’t be accurate….i was wearing heavy shoes, my clothes were still on, it’s that time of the month…of course i am heavier than normal.  I work out…so i am heavier because muscle weighs more than fat. etc etc etc
every.little.thing ran through my head.
 
Don’t get me wrong.  the number is not bad. Not bad at all. But who is to say what number is good??
I mean it’s an individual thing right?
 
Needless to say…i was traumatized.  Does this now give me a reason to follow my weight on my scale at home?  will i become obsessed with the number on the digital screen?
I’ve been there before….obsessing over a number that in the end means nothing at all to me.
I ended up literally throwing that scale out of the window and never looked back.
I know that i have lost weight…i know that my sizes have gone down…i know that i feel pretty damn good.
But then there he goes throwing a number in to my brain and i have been mulling it over in my head ever since.
I felt really good up until that point.  Now i feel that maybe my decision to stop trying to lose weight needs to be reconsidered.
see what #’s do?  they are the devil.  the devil i tell you.
he’s lucky i like him…otherwise i may have just pounded him!
 
But – i did lose weight.  in the double digits.  double digits my friends. (excuse me while i do my happy dance!!)
 
Let me say to those few people that felt it necessary to tell me “oh you’ve lost at least 20 pounds.  at least” that you were not only wrong…you also gave me a complex!
Being the height that i am, i can understand why some would assume that i may have lost twenty pounds
but 5 pounds on your body would look more like 10 pounds on my body.
so there.
it’s all relative.
 
So i am still chewing on my thoughts about this whole number thing.  I’ve come to the conclusion that i so need to get over it.
I am doing everything right…and seeing changes.  awesome changes.  it’s just a slllllloooowwww process.
 
Bottom line, i started making all these changes for my health.  first and foremost.
everything else is gravy.
 
my doctor says i’m made of awesome.  and who am i to argue with him?
 
And so i ended the day making dinner for my bff and hanging out catching up.  a little too late for little ol’ me…but worth it.  totally.
 
And…sorry for the blog yesterday.  i was testing out a theory…and i was right. but of course 🙂
 
So since it’s Hump Day and i am feeling kinda randy….i thought this song would be appropriate for today.


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