Tag Archives: poetry

it must be the beer

low carb beer of course.

spending the late afternoon early evening outside
has left me feeling high 🙂
especially being on a patio, feeling the sun on my bare shoulders, kissing my face…
today was certainly not a waste of make up day.
the intention was dinner…but no food was eaten till closer to 10!

i couldn’t drink since i was driving…but there were a few beers waiting for me at home
(ok ok so they weren’t waiting for me at home, but they were definitely waiting for me at the beer store lol)

Adele is singing me love songs (because surely she would fall in love with me if she met me)
i had a good day….and i’ve been writing my little heart out.

life is good.

and so when i am feeling awesomely amazing, i think about my life
i become reflective, a sentimental fool…and amidst the craziness i call life, i am grateful for all the good that is in it.

i’ve been going through poetry i have written…from as recently as the other day…to back over a decade ago
i’ve managed to get some of the old stuff out of my journals and onto the computer
i have an email account just for all my blogging/writing things.

and it’s amazing how one poem/writing can take you back…right back to where you were when you wrote it
how the feelings are exactly the same…sometimes you can get lost in that moment…or it’s like you’re on the outside looking in.
and sooooo i am reflective.
it’s totally gotta be that lite-barely any alcohol in it-low carb beer lol
(cause i am tough as nails on a good day)

but tonight i am mushy, happy and in love with every detail of my life.
damn beer.

and so my blog is taking advantage of me tonight and wants me to share the personal bits of me
and so i thought this poem was appropriate 🙂

hope your night was as awesome as mine.

Foolish Heart

Foolish heart

Why do you jump?

Why do you run circles, and make my brain dizzy

Foolish heart

How do you do it?

How do you make all reason and logic disappear

And turn me in to

 This

 A girl with no sense

A girl without walls

A girl who stands 11 stories high

Anticipating the leap…

Wanting to fall.

Deeply and madly and passionately

Fall

Lay down at your feet kind of crazy

Give you my all, my everything

Foolish heart

Give back my common sense

Seems you took it with you when you left

To pursue the untouchable

The unfathomable

Idea of love.

Such a fool you are

Stupid, stupid heart

Taking away everything I built

Everything I knew

My walls were stoic and strong

Unbreakable

Until you.

And now foolish heart

How do you make me fall.

Quite effortlessly and oh so quickly

Give me the desire to fall in love with

Someone

The very someone I should not.

what do you know

About love and adoration

Other than leaping full throttle

From 11 stories high

Head first

Without any sorrow for the girl

That’s left

In the aftermath.

Foolish heart

Falling in love

Without my permission

Turning my brain into mush

Making me smile like the fool you are

Making me want the very thing

I’ve told myself I should never have

Foolish heart.

My stupid, foolish heart.

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something i wrote

i decided i would get a little personal…since it’s Friday and all.

I was going through some old writing and found something that was written at the lowest of my lows.
I believe all my major changes,  accomplishments…and mind set was a result of my feelings when i wrote this.

i guess this was my rock bottom…and i feel comfortable enough to share it with you here…since i’ve let it all go 🙂
it’s amazing what a year can do to you and for you.

The Letting Go

i need to learn the art of letting go
seeing the flaws
beating myself up
expectations set so extremely high for myself and for others.

it tears away at you
bit by bit…takes away from who you are and what’s to be
i need to find the letting go

i need to lay anger, betrayal…of my own self
to rest
i need to inhale and exhale, deeper
i need to love myself , all of myself
including the stretch marks, the dimples….all of it.

i need to let go of sadness and despair
i need to understand that in this life i will be wronged over and over
and i in turn will wrong those i am supposed to love

i need to let go.

i hold on to every little thing
comments, whispers, looks
they burn in me and echo
i create mountains out of pebbles
and the turmoil weighs me down.

i need to learn the art of letting go
of deceptions, of deceit
i need to understand that not everyone has pure motives
and not everyone has your best interest in mind

i need to let go
of what i see when i look at me.
i need to let go of the words i use to describe myself
that i wouldn’t dare say to anyone else.
i want to love me like others love me
i need
i need
to find the letting go

i need to find the letting go
of allowing past hurts to creep up on me
and allowing them to take refuge in a heart that’s mostly healed
i need to let it go
i gotta let it go.

in the loves that almost were
and the children that almost blessed me
in the friends no longer friendly

the letting go

i need to find the letting go.

© 2010 bee

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