Tag Archives: losing weight

one year

On Saturday, while sitting on a bench…taking a breather from shopping…
i became engrossed in people watching – i love it.

a girl walked by me that caught my eye…and so i did a double take.
i looked over at my lovely shopping companion and mentioned to her…that i thought the woman walking by looked just like me – body wise.

she looked at me as if i had 3 heads and said “is that really what you think you look like?”

ummm yeah…that’s what i mean by she looks just like me lol

apparently she didn’t see it.  not even close she said.  she then pointed out random women walking by and pointed out similar features – which i myself did not see.

I think i know what i look like.  i see myself every day right??

it’s all about perception i s’pose.

one day a couple of years ago i actually met my doppelganger – standing in line waiting for my shawarma.
it was crazy to look at a person and see yourself staring back.  but that’s another blog for another day…and more for the blog next door.

so it got me to thinking – but of course 🙂

last year this time, i was bikini shopping for my amazing vacation.
(has it been a year already???)

i was stressed and nervous, but i also felt pretty good about myself.  it had been 3 months of clean eating and i had just incorporated turbo jam in to my routine.
the pounds were flying off…and so of course i was feeling good.

i felt damn good.  so good in fact, the bikini rarely stayed on…as we preferred to swim nekkid any chance we got!!!!
me.naked.
who knew?

it wasn’t a cockiness…far from it actually.  i think it was the first time in a long time i felt comfortable in my own skin and i didn’t give a crap what anyone thought about me…nekkid. lol

i look back at those pictures now – a year later…and i wonder – girl what were you thinking??
i mean good on me for feeling confidant and trying to rock the bikini…
but really…
what i saw last year i don’t see now.

a year has passed…and it’s amazing how much can change in one year.
i could probably write a novel about all the significant, life altering changes i’ve experienced in the past year.
i am not the same girl i was last year, and i don’t intend to be the same girl next year.
life is all about changing – and for once i am completely open to that.

so what’s changed on the health/diet/weight loss front since last year?

well…i’ve continued eating healthy (more often than not)
i work out at the gym at least 3 times a week
i’ve lost at least 10-15 pounds since then.

and when i put two pictures side by side…i can visually see the changes.

the pic on the left is last year (no i’m not nekkid lol), the pic on the right is just from a couple of weeks ago.

i see the changes in my body from last year to this year…
i see where i’ve lost the most weight (boobs and belly)
i can see that i’m more toned
i can see the weight loss still didn’t take away my dimples 🙂

so why does the mere thought of sporting a bikini make me want to hurl?
maybe cause what i see, i don’t really feel?

in my mind i don’t think i am anywhere near where i want to be in order to rock a bikini
i can’t even fathom putting one on and feeling comfortable.

so what changed since last year?  last year i was confidant enough to rock it…
why not now?

like i said…i can see the differences when you place the pictures side by side…but i just can’t mentally wrap my head around it i don’t think.
i think that when i look in the mirror – i still see bee from 2009.

and not to worry…summer is here kids…and i will be rockin’ a bikini whether i want to or not.  my attitude hasn’t changed.  i still don’t care what anyone thinks of me 🙂

one year – a lot of things change…some things just stay the same.

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oh la la

i went to the mall last night to pick up a few gifts
i was pleasantly surprised that i didn’t feel the overwhelming desire to punch anyone!!!
the mall was quiet so there was no pushing or being bumped into or rude people to contend with!
 
anyways…i went to go get some gifts…from Laura Secord.
When i was there a few weeks ago i noticed that they are selling board games made out of chocolate.  how cool is that?
They have Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble and Clue.
all the pieces are made out of chocolate.
whoever came up with that idea is a genius!!!
 
So i picked up a few of those and crossed off a couple of names from my list and felt satisfied.
 
I don’t know what inspired me to ask the lady at the cash… but i did.
 
“do you have any sugar free chocolate?”
 
I don’t care who you are…how little of a sweet tooth you have…Laura Secord is hard to resist.  Everything looks good, smells good…i get a sugar rush just walking by there.
I wanted a piece of chocolate dammit!
 
The lady behind the cash showed us her no sugar added section, and a small box was purchased.  10 small pieces of chocolate for over 13 dollars. 
Ouch.
But isn’t that the way?  everything that is supposed to be good for you (or better for you) and healthier is way more expensive??
For 3 pieces of chocolate, there were 6 grams of carbs.  not bad my friends, not bad at all.
 
Anyways so i had a true Canadian evening.  Stopped at Tim Hortons on my way home, sat down on the couch and opened up the chocolates and savoured every bite.
 
Coffee and chocolate on one of the coldest evenings…with zero guilt.
 
Someone recently told me to find the pleasure in winter, and my god i think i just did!


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bye bye fat pants

i refer to my fat pants often in this blog.
can i explain what they are?

they simply are pajama bottoms.
that’s it.
they are the pants that i lounge around the house in…and often sleep in at night.

the pants i regularly refer to were purchased specifically for my trip out west to visit my bff in 2009

they are just basic gray fuzzy pants with draw strings.
simple and baggy and comfortable…especially on a fat day.
back in 2009 i didn’t even need to tie them around my waist…they were just a perfect fit.

fast forward to Friday night…or i guess i should say early Saturday morning.
i awoke in the middle of the night…as i do every single night.
4am found me awake and stirring in bed.
i decided to get out of bed to grab a drink…since falling asleep right away was out of the question.

Now here’s a visual….if you become easily aroused please stop reading.

i crawled outta bed….with the most perfect bed head.
one eye open…and one eye completely shut…as this is my come hither look at 4 am.
meow
anyways…i started to walk down the hallway…and after a few steps
my fat pants were around my ankles.

i bent over and grabbed the waist of my pants and pulled them up
as i did not want to walk by my huge window bare assed for the world to see…
i grabbed a drink and headed back to bed…pants once again falling to my ankles
i stepped outta them and in to bed.
i made a mental note that my number one priority come Saturday was to purchase new “fat pants”
and then fell asleep.

and so, i have come here to announce that my fat pants have been retired
they will be put into a good will bag for someone else to enjoy

i sit here and type this in my brand spanking new smaller fat pants

candy striped pants, with a red spider man t-shirt
happier than a pig in shit
life is good.

a vision of beauty my friends…a vision of beauty..


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