Tag Archives: journey

Heavy

have you seen this new show on A&E?

wow – i am completely addicted to this show!!!!

they take 2 very obese people who are ready to change their lives and send them to a facility for 6 months.
They go through counseling, taught how to make better food choices and pretty much go through a boot camp type of exercise regime.

it’s insane!

i watch what they do and think – wow, i have no room to complain or say i am too tired, or to even utter the words, “i can’t do that”!

Last nights show was the season finale.  The guy Chad went in weighing over 500 pounds, and the woman Sallie i believe weighed about 450 pounds.
both were looking for huge changes in their lives.

they tell you their stories, you “meet” their families.  you watch them slowly succeed and it’s just so amazing!!
i don’t know how many times i got all girly like and got teary eyed.

These two completed a triathlon!!!!  Can you imagine?  Sure, they had lost alot of weight at that point, but still…carrying around over 3-4 hundred pounds…swimming, then biking 6 miles and then running 5 miles…that’s INSANE!!!
I could never do that!

People will argue, that these people are sent away for 6 months and thrown in a controlled environment.  of course they will succeed.
that is a half truth.

yes, they are sent away…they are taught all the things they need to know in order to succeed…given the tools to be successful.  they have professionals there to watch them every step of the way.
but they need this!
remember, these are people who don’t even know where to begin when it comes to eating healthy and exercising.
the people who go on the show still need to do the work – no one is working out for them…they are just being taught how to do it…so they can take those tools out in to the real world.
i get so uppity when people think it must be so easy for them…because i can only imagine that this is the hardest thing they ever had to do in their lives!

i believe at the end of the 6 months, they both lost approximately 140 pounds.
Incredible!!!
Also, they give you an update after a few months…and both were still working out, eating healthy and losing weight.

these are such awesome feel good stories it makes my heart want to burst.

there is an update show coming up about other people that were on the show…i cannot wait to tune in to that!

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i am so in love

with the gym!
it’s true…i can’t even believe i said it, but there is no use in denying the truth.
 
i picked it up a few notches last night
and what i mean by a few…is ALOT.
 
my whole life i have hated the elliptical.
and i think that the word hate is an understatement.
 
even hating it…i did purchase one years ago believing that if i owned one, i would have to use it.
sure at the beginning of that love affair i was on it.
i hated it.  i dreaded it.  15 minutes seemed like a lifetime.
it didn’t matter if i was watching tv, or listening to music.  i just hated it.
if i could have had a glass of wine in one of my hands perhaps i would have felt differently at the time lol
it became my closet of sorts…or my hamper.
it was a fancy clothes holder, that’s what it was.
 
so when i went for my assessment at the gym, my personal trainer said i should be able to work myself up to an hour on the elliptical.
she said this after getting me to do it for 3 minutes.
i thought – whatever lady.  stop the crack.
 
the other day i thought i would give it a go.  i was on it for 35 minutes
and….
i loved it.
i am not too sure what changed inside of me…to actually say that i enjoy it…
i really don’t know.
i loved everything about it.  the jello legs, the heavy breathing…the sweating…
(i am talking about the gym people, not bedroom antics – mind outta the gutter!)
 
so back to the gym i went yesterday.
did all my ab work out and weights and hopped on the elliptical
which to my great joy (NOT) is right in front of a mirror.
 
all of a sudden i heard that jerk in my head telling me i wouldn’t be able to succeed without him training me etc.
i kept hearing that sing song voice in my head that i should be able to do it for an hour…
so off i went.
different things flashed through my head…like all the cute bikinis that will be coming out this season…my trip to Texas, summer, cute clothes
and i kept going and going…
and i kid not when i say it was not even a struggle.
 
i didn’t do an hour on the elliptical.  i did an hour and one minute.
eat that jerk face.
 
and i felt freakin’ amazing…i could have kept going…but i didn’t
 
a couple of hours later…trying to get up from the couch was fun
my knees ached something fierce…
i didn’t think much of it…
 
i woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink
and i felt like i was just hit by a car.  and i have personal experience with that feeling…
i felt like i blew out my knees!!!  crazy.  and not fun.
 
i woke up this morning…feeling not bad at all.  my knees are a little sore…as is most of my body – especially my lower back.
but i feel amazing.
 
i cannot describe how i felt after my work out yesterday.
it’s an unexplainable high…like a drug.
i see how people get addicted to working out…because at the end of it all…you just feel so absolutely amazing.
 
why didn’t i discover this sooner??? 

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this journey

i saw someone yesterday i hadn’t seen in almost a year.

the last time i had seen her i was at the height of my – whatever you call it.

i was ill, tired, over weight and over all depressed with life as i knew it.
last year seems like a life time ago.
i don’t care who you are…when your whole life feels like shit on a stick, pasting on a fake smile, laughing the loudest in a room..
it’s just a smoke screen that i am sure alot of people can see right through.

i am not ashamed to say my life sucked ass, because as life goes…shit happens.
not all of it was bad mind you…actually i had some amazing, life altering moments…
but within myself was a multitude of negative emotions.

i think back to this time last year….and i don’t even recognize myself
who i was must have been just a figment of my imagination.

this journey has been a blessing.  it has been hard, it has reduced me to tears
it has stripped me naked to make myself brand new.
i’ve shed my old skin and have evolved into someone bigger than life.
it has been easy and life affirming.  it is a road i will never stray from…
the journey is what it’s all about.

i shed more than pounds and poor eating habits.
i took inventory of my whole life.  i got rid of things/people/thoughts that no longer served me.
it was a powerful awakening.

it is still a process.  being comfortable in my own skin.
i think it always will be.  it’s just how i am wired.  i think alot of us are.
even though there is a lot less of me, sometimes it’s hard to rewire your brain.
those on the same journey will understand what i mean by that.

i am in a good place.
scratch that.  i am in a great place.
i am sure i smile more, laugh more…god knows i love life more.
when you have your emotional/mental health in tact…it’s amazing the rewards you reap in life.

anyways.

so i saw this woman…and her reaction surprised me.
her eyes widened, her jaw literally dropped…and all she said after hugging and kissing me was “holy shit”
lmao
she grabbed my waist…squeezed me and said she couldn’t believe how amazing i looked…followed by the standard “not that you never looked amazing before, but you know what i mean”
she then continued on saying i can’t believe how much weight you lost..you lost a ton of weight.
that last comment always makes me chuckle…a ton.

i really haven’t lost a ton.  honestly.
i have other blog friends that have lost a ton of weight.  Women who have lost 50-70 pounds
now they deserve a shout out.

yes i have lost weight. but i am just small. small framed,  small boned, small in height…just small.
so a ton to some people is not a ton to me.

and i was stunned for a moment.
because i didn’t expect it.  it’s been a long time since i’ve run into someone i haven’t seen for a while.

i’m sure i blushed
because no matter how much time passes…i still get shy…embarrassed at all the attention being thrown my way…
again…just how i’m wired.

i just wonder if i will ever get used to it.

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