someone is keeping me accountable
miss Miyu says no pizza for you!!
ok so this box is from a few days ago – and she has somehow taken a liking to it – so i kept it for her
i just couldn’t pass on the photo op!!!
let’s be real
i’ve been gone for a while
it’s what i do
when things are going on – i get gone – if you know what i mean.
the last few months of 2017 were a bit of a shit show
you know, illness, injury, losses
some i knew were coming, and others i was completely blindsided by
then there was the christmas season – that seems to last a lot longer than it should
enter in a birthday (yes i can have cake and sushi and wine and whateverthehelliwant on my birthday)
it was just a horrible, destructive combination
slowly – almost without even realizing it…
i traded in my workouts for lazy nights on the couch
all of a sudden veggies weren’t so appealing – and all i wanted were fries..and naps
i could go on…but i won’t
i will let you in on a little secret
under this tough, bitchy, nothing ever bothers me exterior
this girls got feelings
shhh. don’t tell anyone
i was sad. i was stressed. i was defeated.
and so i do what i always do
i feed my feelings
i fed them all the carbs. alllll the carbs
i gave them love and affection and held them in a big bear hug
in the form of food
enter my Greek mother’s Christmas baking – and damn – that’s like a kiss on my little bruised soul
all the food
all the time
but i recognize it (now)
the damage has been minimal…but it’s still damage
it’s funny to me – the way people cope
how we all cope
our vices may be different – but we all have vices don’t we?
it’s not my first rodeo here (oh and i’ve been watching dr.phil that i pvr’d – perhaps a bit too much)
i am all too familiar with stress…illness..injuries…losses
i mean – it’s life
with the good comes the bad
it’s not like i’m new to this
but i am only human
and sometimes – only sometimes
i get sad
and i throw myself a pity party (albeit a damn long one)
i eat crap – that makes me feel good…for a few moments
only to feel like crap from eating crap
lather rinse repeat
i wasn’t doing my little sad girl feelings any good
i was trying to feel better – feel ok – and i only ended up feeling worse
so i am cleaning out the fridge this weekend
replenishing my good stuff.
to be honest i miss the good stuff
(i’m gonna eat the dill pickle chips though – i can’t throw them away, i’m not a monster)
this isn’t a new years resolution
the way i live
i just hit a bit of a bump in the road
this all came to me in the course of an hour
as i was prepping dinner on this unbelievably cold January night
the mother of all comfort foods
mac and cheese
not your average Kraft Dinner – but the real stuff. made from scratch mac and cheese
see? comfort = all the carbs
i’m going to eat it – and i am going to enjoy it
then i’m gonna get my big girl panties on
and kick some serious ass
i did all the feeling – and now it’s time to get back to hardcore bee 😉
after a week of not working out
i was going a little stir crazy
by a little…i mean a lot
it was weighing me down
i was feeling sad and defeated
i had the energy
but i didn’t have a willing body
so today…i decided was the day
regardless of how my ankle felt…it was time to give it a try
i wrapped it up
threw on some socks – and my fancy runners
(i always work out barefoot at home – so this was quite the adjustment)
but i did it
an hour and a half work out
and i felt like a million bucks
my ankle was not too impressed with me – but i iced it afterwards…and kept it elevated
i’ll be damned if i let it stop me now
so baby – i’m back (i think – ask me tomorrow)
just recently, my sister in law and i were discussing the art of the “selfie”
i get selfies, i really do
but they take a lot of work. you know, the right amount of make up – lighting – at least 100 practice shots before you even post the real thing
a million different filters so you look 20 years younger
so what about real life selfies?
so that is exactly what we did
sent eachother real life selfies
just real life
you know…while cooking dinner
washing the floors
i won’t post hers here
but my god – they are funny
so i decided to send her a couple today
this one was titled:
“the seductive, sweaty hour and a half cardio afterglow”
and this one was:
“this sprained ankle’s got nothing on me bitches”
she’s on her way!!!
yes. i did it. i’ve been eyeing this baby for a long time
and finally decided to do it
but don’t you have a fit bit you ask?
yes i do.
i bought it a couple of years ago…and it still works perfectly fine
but lately our relationship has changed
i am not sure why but it has
i have had a pretty serious injury from this fit bit
no – nothing life threatening
just a little painful
i have the fitbit “one”
i tuck it neatly in to my bra and go about my day
twice now, when i get home and get undressed
somehow the skin on my boob comes off with the bra – attached to the “one”
(oh god the pain!!!!!!!!!)
i have a scar from the first time
and a nice red scab currently from this last time
i bought the “one”
because i could wear it and no one could see it
it was discreet
she’s not the one
no one messes with the girls
and gets away with it!
the charge should be here in a few days
i feel like a kid waiting for Christmas 🙂
so i gave my body two full days of rest
and decided to test out these legs of mine on day 3
i decided i would walk to a restaurant where i was meeting friends for dinner
it was only 2.5 km’s away
if i was in pain, i could always get a lift home
i am happy to say
no pain at all. i was able to put in two good walks over the weekend
so i have no idea what those shin splints were about
crazy time has started at work again
and i am trying to find ways to keep moving
that’s hard when you have a desk job
and work 12-14-16 hours a day
today i left the house at 6
by the time i got in and changed and ready to relax it was after 9pm
where do i find the motivation to work out
when i just want to stop drop and roll?
but this is the reality of my life
about a week of normalcy and then 3 weeks of utter craziness
it’s just my new normal
and won’t change until they hire someone to help pick up the extra load
i may be wonder woman
but i can’t do this much longer
it’s exhausting, and i have no time to myself. to take care of myself etc
january cannot come soon enough
and now for the TMI portion of the evening
my fitbit is trying to kill me
i have the fitbit one
and it clips nicely and discreetly to my bra
i just put it in the centre and off i go
i guess the other day
i tucked it in more to the left side
snug as a bug
when i got home that night
and got undressed
i felt something wet on my leg
it was blood
not sure what happened
but i think the placement of the fitbit
caused a HUGE blister
smack dab on one of the girls
and when i whipped off the bra
apparently i ripped off the skin
a lot of it
and that’s the story of my fitbit trying to kill me
this is no surprise
if anything weird can happen to me
and it did
walking out my front door at 6am
and coming back through it at 9 sometimes 10pm
doesn’t give me much time for anything
this has been my life for about 2 months
mostly this past month
work is insane
and i think i am going insane
i can barely get my butt to bed
never mind working out
add to that the element of comfort eating
it’s not pretty
today i decided
work be damned…
and left the office after my normal 8 hour day
i needed a break
i needed time away from there
and i also reallllly needed a bowl of chips to snack on
i decided to drive home
and said to myself
if you want to snack on chips tonight, you have to walk to the store
and then take the long way back home”
it’s windy and cold
and i tend to not go outdoors unless i absolutely have to between November – April
but i wanted those chips
so i bundled myself up
and off i went
who knew something unhealthy
would motivate me to do something healthy?
i assure you, if i were out of lettuce…i’d never leave the house
so 5kms later
i was home, with a bag of chips
chips i have zero interest in snacking on by the way
i got home and turned on the satellite radio
and one of my favourite songs came on
all of a sudden, i am off my couch
dancing around like an idiot
see, this white girl has no rhythm
but i didn’t care
i had the house to myself
i could flop around like a moron all i wanted
no one would know
except the dogs
i am sure they were judging me
next thing i know
a half hour passes
and i am sweating and feeling so freaking amazing
i have been so wound up
so over the top stressed
my body needed this release!!
i just haven’t had any time to be physical
my life is not going to calm down any time soon
but what i learned tonight
is that i need some me time
thanks to NK – for making me see
that if i don’t take time to take care of myself
i can’t take care of what needs to be done
you dear sir
are the reason i danced my zero rhythm ass off
here’s to hoping
that i can get out there again
without chips being my reward
hey it’s a start
but you gotta start somewhere
is a brand new pair of sexy shoes
(my definition of sexy has changed as i have gotten older lol)
last May i went and got fitted for the perfect runners.
i took up running again after 20 years…and my 7 year old runners didn’t cut it
so i went and bought a beautiful pair of runners.
170 bucks later…i hit the pavement
my legs felt better…but i will still in a lot of pain.
i got to wear them twice…and then life happened.
i was in the middle of buying a house, packing…moving
all that fun stuff.
once i got settled in to the new house…
i sprained my ankle. badly.
i gave up on the idea of running…never mind running. i couldn’t even walk.
almost a year later…and my ankle is still not right.
i was soooooo very sad.
4 months later…i went and purchased said shoes.
they were last years shoe…and so they were almost 50% off.
i bought my new pair of shoes for $1.70.
seriously…it can’t get better than that.
so now i have the shoes
am i actually blogging???
meh, i don’t blame you.
i’ve been busy. crazy busy. so busy that i’ve let this place go.
let’s see…what’s new
everything and nothing.
the gym has been non existent, the eating has been pretty good…except for the random splurge on weekends.
i did acquire another bundle of joy.
so really – i am getting quite a bit of exercise. i am actually more exhausted these days then when i actually had time for the gym.
i don’t settle in till at least after 8 – and then by 10 – i am walking the critters again. to say i am exhausted is an understatement.
i am sure i am burning a million calories with this heat wave. it is hot over here…you break out in a sweat just breathing.
So for those of you that think Canadians live in igloos – oh think again my friends….think again.
did i mention LB is in a cast with a broken finger?….so yeah things are just insanely busy.
i may just cry things are so busy
i have two more days until i am on vacation. it’s a staycation – but i am so looking forward to it.
so that’s pretty much my news.
what’s new with you?
i want these shoes.
i don’t want them a little bit – i want them a lot.
i am really good with my shoes. like freakishly good with them.
i am as good to my shoes as i am to my books.
if you know me in real life you know i won’t even loan out my books – in fear that you will not treat them with respect and damage them
the spines of all my books are in perfect condition.
anyways i have gone totally off topic.
my current runners were purchased in New York – the year? 2005.
i wish i had them with me to take a picture of them – they are in amazing condition.
A beautiful pair of Adidas.
i wear them to the gym – on walks – and when i Zumba.
granted these are not worn every day…but for 7 years old – they have a lot of life left in them.
but i think it’s time to add to my shoe collection.
and these Nikes are so perdy!! they look so comfortable – perhaps they will inspire me to work out more.
or – i could just wear them at home and admire them whilst i sit my ass on my couch
but seriously – i need these shoes.
me love these shoes.
there was no hula hooping, zumba-ing, trampolining done this week.
i think that inhaling and exhaling took more effort than anything.
i got knocked on my ass something fierce…
i came down with something on Tuesday. it started with an annoying tickle in my throat – and then it felt like i swallowed razor blades – and someone was sitting on my chest,
to some god awful head cold turned to flu.
Thursday – was a hot day. i do believe it was 31 degrees with the humidex. i took a scalding hot bath, put on my fat pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt and blanky – and i was still shaking i was so cold.
i actually contemplated turning on the fire place…but it just felt wrong. lol
and then it decided to turn into a full on head cold – again.
of course i was sick. i had a very important event to attend over the weekend – i’ve been waiting months to go – of course i would get my ass whipped.
i expected nothing less.
but i made it. na-na-na-na-na you stupid cold – you didn’t win.
i feel much more myself today. sure i can’t breathe and i am coughing up a lung – but i feel worlds better.
i decided to go grocery shopping, then go out and totally clean my nasty car…i just finished a wonderful dinner i made…and now i am ready to have a chill Sunday.
i am going to make myself an extra spicy Caesar – all in the name of health but of course.
if i am feeling like i won’t hack out my lungs tomorrow – i’ll get my Zumba on
based on the pictures that were taken this weekend – mamma might wanna get on the exercise train sooner than later.
but for tonight – it shall be a Caesar, perhaps even my new low carb beer i found. ok so it’s not so new – it’s Molson 67 – with lime. the lime bit is the new part
i swear there is no alcohol in it tho.
and i will hopefully finish the book that Portia De Rossi wrote – Unbearable Lightness. my feelings about this book are so all over the place i am sure there will be a blog post about that in the future.
have any of you read it? thoughts???
enjoy your Sunday night everyone.