Tag Archives: humour

real life looks like…real life

after a week of not working out
i was going a little stir crazy
by a little…i mean a lot

it was weighing me down

i was feeling sad and defeated

i had the energy
but i didn’t have a willing body

so today…i decided was the day
regardless of how my ankle felt…it was time to give it a try

i wrapped it up
threw on some socks – and my fancy runners

(i always work out barefoot at home – so this was quite the adjustment)

but i did it

an hour and a half work out

and i felt like a million bucks

my ankle was not too impressed with me – but i iced it afterwards…and kept it elevated

i’ll be damned if i let it stop me now

so baby – i’m back (i think – ask me tomorrow)

just recently, my sister in law and i were discussing the art of the “selfie”

i get selfies, i really do
but they take a lot of work. you know, the right amount of make up – lighting – at least 100 practice shots before you even post the real thing
a million different filters so you look 20 years younger

so what about real life selfies?

so that is exactly what we did
sent eachother real life selfies
no filters
just real life

you know…while cooking dinner
doing laundry
washing the floors

real life

i won’t post hers here
but my god – they are funny

so i decided to send her a couple today

this one was titled:
“the seductive, sweaty hour and a half cardio afterglow”

seductive

and this one was:

“this sprained ankle’s got nothing on me bitches”

bitches

lol

real life
no filters

wordpress counter

Advertisements

she’s no longer the one

she’s on her way!!!

Fitbit_Charge_Wearable-29

yes. i did it. i’ve been eyeing this baby for a long time
and finally decided to do it

but don’t you have a fit bit you ask?

yes

yes i do.

i bought it a couple of years ago…and it still works perfectly fine

but lately our relationship has changed

i am not sure why but it has

twice now
i have had a pretty serious injury from this fit bit

no – nothing life threatening

just a little painful

i have the fitbit “one”

i tuck it neatly in to my bra and go about my day

twice now, when i get home and get undressed
somehow the skin on my boob comes off with the bra – attached to the “one”
(oh god the pain!!!!!!!!!)

i have a scar from the first time
and a nice red scab currently from this last time

i bought the “one”
because i could wear it and no one could see it
it was discreet
but now
now
she’s not the one

no one messes with the girls
and gets away with it!

the charge should be here in a few days

i feel like a kid waiting for Christmas 🙂

wordpress counter

only me

so i gave my body two full days of rest
and decided to test out these legs of mine on day 3

i decided i would walk to a restaurant where i was meeting friends for dinner
it was only 2.5 km’s away
if i was in pain, i could always get a lift home

i am happy to say
no pain at all. i was able to put in two good walks over the weekend
so i have no idea what those shin splints were about

crazy time has started at work again
and i am trying to find ways to keep moving
that’s hard when you have a desk job
and work 12-14-16 hours a day

today i left the house at 6
by the time i got in and changed and ready to relax it was after 9pm
where do i find the motivation to work out
when i just want to stop drop and roll?

but this is the reality of my life
about a week of normalcy and then 3 weeks of utter craziness

it’s just my new normal
and won’t change until they hire someone to help pick up the extra load

i may be wonder woman
but i can’t do this much longer
it’s exhausting, and i have no time to myself. to take care of myself etc

january cannot come soon enough

and now for the TMI portion of the evening

my fitbit is trying to kill me

i have the fitbit one
and it clips nicely and discreetly to my bra
i just put it in the centre and off i go

i guess the other day
i tucked it in more to the left side
snug as a bug
lol

when i got home that night
and got undressed
i felt something wet on my leg

it was blood

not sure what happened
but i think the placement of the fitbit
caused a HUGE blister
smack dab on one of the girls
and when i whipped off the bra
apparently i ripped off the skin
a lot of it

and that’s the story of my fitbit trying to kill me

this is no surprise
if anything weird can happen to me
it will

and it did

wordpress counter

i’m a freak

walking out my front door at 6am
and coming back through it at 9 sometimes 10pm
doesn’t give me much time for anything

this has been my life for about 2 months
mostly this past month

work is insane
and i think i am going insane

i can barely get my butt to bed
never mind working out

add to that the element of comfort eating
and well
it’s not pretty

today i decided
work be damned…
and left the office after my normal 8 hour day

i needed a break
i needed time away from there

and i also reallllly needed a bowl of chips to snack on

i decided to drive home
and said to myself
“self….
if you want to snack on chips tonight, you have to walk to the store
and then take the long way back home”

it’s December
it’s windy and cold
and i tend to not go outdoors unless i absolutely have to between November – April

but i wanted those chips

so i bundled myself up
and off i went

wow
who knew something unhealthy
would motivate me to do something healthy?
i assure you, if i were out of lettuce…i’d never leave the house

so 5kms later
i was home, with a bag of chips
chips i have zero interest in snacking on by the way

i got home and turned on the satellite radio
and one of my favourite songs came on

all of a sudden, i am off my couch
dancing around like an idiot

see, this white girl has no rhythm
but i didn’t care
i had the house to myself
i could flop around like a moron all i wanted
no one would know

except the dogs
i am sure they were judging me

next thing i know
a half hour passes
and i am sweating and feeling so freaking amazing

i have been so wound up
so over the top stressed
my body needed this release!!

i just haven’t had any time to be physical
at all

my life is not going to calm down any time soon
but what i learned tonight
is that i need some me time

thanks to NK – for making me see
that if i don’t take time to take care of myself
i can’t take care of what needs to be done

you dear sir
are the reason i danced my zero rhythm ass off

here’s to hoping
that i can get out there again
without chips being my reward

hey it’s a start
but you gotta start somewhere

wordpress counter

all a girl needs

is a brand new pair of sexy shoes

(my definition of sexy has changed as i have gotten older lol)

 

last May i went and got fitted for the perfect runners.

i took up running again after 20 years…and my 7 year old runners didn’t cut it

seems my body didn’t want to run as much as my brain wanted to
i had some bad shin splintsi mean crying kinda bad.

so i went and bought a beautiful pair of runners.

170 bucks later…i hit the pavement

my legs felt better…but i will still in a lot of pain.

i got to wear them twice…and then life happened.

i was in the middle of buying a house, packing…moving

all that fun stuff.

once i got settled in to the new house…
i sprained my ankle.  badly.

i gave up on the idea of running…never mind running.  i couldn’t even walk.

almost a year later…and my ankle is still not right.

anyway

once i moved….
my shoes were nowhere to be found
actually…a whole box of shoes…were missing.
somehow they got lost in the move…
just one box.
of course the box with all my most favourite shoes.
you know, the hoochie mamma shoes, work shoes
and these beautiful running shoes i just bought.

i was soooooo very sad.

for my birthday in December, a couple of my wonderful friends got me a gift card
so i could buy a pair of the shoes i lost.i was sooooo happy 🙂

4 months later…i went and purchased said shoes.

they were last years shoe…and so they were almost 50% off.

i bought my new pair of shoes for $1.70.

seriously…it can’t get better than that.

so now i have the shoes

i just need my legs to work
🙂
thank you lovely friends for the gift card!
and here are the sexy beasts
shoes

wordpress counter

could this be true

am i actually blogging???

hi!

remember me?

no?

meh, i don’t blame you.

i’ve been busy.  crazy busy.  so busy that i’ve let this place go.

let’s see…what’s new

everything and nothing.

the gym has been non existent, the eating has been pretty good…except for the random splurge on weekends.

i did acquire another bundle of joy.
a puppy.

so really – i am getting quite a bit of exercise.  i am actually more exhausted these days then when i actually had time for the gym.

i don’t settle in till at least after 8 – and then by 10 – i am walking the critters again. to say i am exhausted is an understatement.

i am sure i am burning a million calories with this heat wave.  it is hot over here…you break out in a sweat just breathing.
So for those of you that think Canadians live in igloos – oh think again my friends….think again.

did i mention LB is in a cast with a broken finger?….so yeah things are just insanely busy.
i may just cry things are so busy

i have two more days until i am on vacation.  it’s a staycation – but i am so looking forward to it.

so that’s pretty much my news.

what’s new with you?

wordpress counter



Site Meter

i must have these…now

i want these shoes.

i don’t want them a little bit – i want them a lot.

i am really good with my shoes.  like freakishly good with them.
i am as good to my shoes as i am to my books.
if you know me in real life you know i won’t even loan out my books – in fear that you will not treat them with respect and damage them
the spines of all my books are in perfect condition.
anyways i have gone totally off topic.

my current runners were purchased in New York – the year?  2005.
i wish i had them with me to take a picture of them – they are in amazing condition.

A beautiful pair of Adidas.

i wear them to the gym – on walks – and when i Zumba.

granted these are not worn every day…but for 7 years old – they have a lot of life left in them.

but i think it’s time to add to my shoe collection.

and these Nikes are so perdy!!  they look so comfortable – perhaps they will inspire me to work out more.
or – i could just wear them at home and admire them whilst i sit my ass on my couch
lol

but seriously – i need these shoes.
me love these shoes.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

totally got an ass kickin’

there was no hula hooping, zumba-ing, trampolining done this week.

i think that inhaling and exhaling took more effort than anything.

i got knocked on my ass something fierce…

i came down with something on Tuesday.  it started with an annoying tickle in my throat – and then it felt like i swallowed razor blades – and someone was sitting on my chest,
to some god awful head cold turned to flu.

Thursday – was a hot day.  i do believe it was 31 degrees with the humidex.  i took a scalding hot bath, put on my fat pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt and blanky – and i was still shaking i was so cold.
i actually contemplated turning on the fire place…but it just felt wrong. lol

and then it decided to turn into a full on head cold – again.

of course i was sick.  i had a very important event to attend over the weekend – i’ve been waiting months to go – of course i would get my ass whipped.
i expected nothing less.

but i made it.  na-na-na-na-na you stupid cold – you didn’t win.

i feel much more myself today.  sure i can’t breathe and i am coughing up a lung – but i feel worlds better.

i decided to go grocery shopping, then go out and totally clean my nasty car…i just finished a wonderful dinner i made…and now i am ready to have a chill Sunday.

i am going to make myself an extra spicy Caesar – all in the name of health but of course.

if i am feeling like i won’t hack out my lungs tomorrow – i’ll get my Zumba on

but

based on the pictures that were taken this weekend – mamma might wanna get on the exercise train sooner than later.
yikes!

but for tonight – it shall be a Caesar, perhaps even my new low carb beer i found.  ok so it’s not so new – it’s Molson 67 – with lime.  the lime bit is the new part
i swear there is no alcohol in it tho.
and i will hopefully finish the book that Portia De Rossi wrote – Unbearable Lightness.  my feelings about this book are so all over the place i am sure there will be a blog post about that in the future.

have any of you read it?  thoughts???

enjoy your Sunday night everyone.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

it seemed like a good idea at the time

i always come up with the greatest ideas.

i heard it from someone, who heard it from someone, who heard it from someones best friends cousins husbands father…

that hula hoops were a good tool for weight loss.

so i googled it – and google said, “why yes bee, this is true”
so if google said so…well it had to be true!!!

so i thought – damn!  i used to be an amazing hula hooping kinda girl when i was like 12…
and i kick everyone’s ass on my wii virtual hula hoop
why don’t i just go buy myself a real hula hoop???

so off i went to walmart and voila – a hula hoop was purchased.

i so totally believed i would look like this:

i am woman enough to admit – that i don’t look anything like this.
not even close.
ask LB…when she gets off the floor…and stops laughing
*ahem*

anyways…i am lucky if i can get that thing to spin around my hips 3 times
i don’t look sexy, or at ease.
i look constipated…
i look like a middle aged woman having a seizure.

that hula hoop challenge on the wii gave me a false sense of super-stardom

i used to be good.
now not so much.

i have resorted to watching “how to” videos on youtube.

and i gotta say – no matter which way you slice it…bee’s got no rhythm.
oy.

i am not gonna give up.  i mean even failing at it has made me break out in a sweat…so that can’t be a bad thing.
man – where is the 12 year old me to teach me a move or 2?
meh – best she stay away – i’d hate to break a hip.

also – in my quest to find the hula hoop – i found me a trampoline.
yes – i bought myself a trampoline.
cause google said it was a kick ass work out.

it is currently in my trunk – in a million pieces.  the box says “some assembly required”

i am not too good with putting things together.  not too sure how much faith i have in myself putting that together.

i mean, this is something i will be jumping on.

it’s bad enough i see clearly how bad of an idea it is to own a trampoline when you are as accident prone as i am…
but what if i don’t put that together correctly???

how do i explain that to the doctor’s at emerg???

maybe when LB can catch her breath and get up off the floor – i’ll ask her to help me.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

the answer? underpants!

sooooo

i did my Zumba on the wii.

because i am so amazingly awesome, or perhaps a glutton for punishment…i decided i would totally breeze through the “intense”  hour long work out.

and i pretty much did.

Sure – at one point i thought i was having a heart attack – maybe a little foaming at the mouth…but i did it.

it’s amazing how in such little time i could be so outta shape.  it baffles my mind.

i forgot how much i love the feeling of my heart going a mile a minute, the sweat (yes, i actually love to sweat!) and my muscles turning into complete mush.

I did this on Monday.  today i am still learning to walk fully erect.  my body is in so much pain…i love it  (i’m kinda sick like that) and i can’t get up without some primal groan escaping my lips.

I wasn’t going to Zumba tonight…but i think i may just try.  i will put it on an easier level and maybe just do half an hour.

i miss actually going to a class…but you know what is absolutely awesome about doing it at home?

let me paint you a picture.

forget the t-shirt and yoga pants
we are talking hot pants and sports bra and off to the races you go…oh and runners.
how is that for sexy????

there is nothing more liberating than jumping around your house in your underpants.

that my friends – is the key to total freedom.  try it.  go on now i dare you.
dance in yer underpants!

(you may want to shut your blinds – or not!)

wordpress counter



Site Meter