Tag Archives: friendships

i’ve fallen and i can’t get up

well i went and got my head read last night

my awesome fantabulous friend took me 🙂

the whole experience was quick and somewhat painless…and not exactly what i expected…

i popped one of my pills and i was ready to go.
i didn’t feel any different, i didn’t think i was relaxed or calm…
i felt really nervous about laying on that thing and getting  pushed into a small rabbit hole!!!

my friend suggested meditating with my eyes closed…i thought it was a great idea
until all those people they hired to annoy me started banging on the machine

ok – so it wasn’t people – it was the actual machine.  it was the loudest thing i have ever experienced!
they had given me head phones but the noise was so loud that i couldn’t even hear the music!!
i actually had a headache when it was all over.

but it was over and that’s all that mattered.

it took me about half an hour to get all my jewelery back in – i have a lot of piercings apparently..
anyways…

i thought i deserved a glass of wine for everything i had gone through

it went down good.  it was delicious

and it totally knocked me on my ass.
i mean down for the count.

i am aware you are not supposed to mix any prescription meds with booze
i get it
but i didn’t even think the pills did anything in the first place!!!!

i was sadly mistaken. so so mistaken lol

i could not get outta bed this morning.

all day i’ve been walking around in a haze, just wanting to sleep.
and that’s not cool when my work life is super crazy busy.

it is so going to be an early night.

no – there was no gym tonight.  i couldn’t imagine surviving in the state i am in.
i am just a puddle of yuck.

i was gonna cook – but LB saved me from it all and brought dinner from my favourite place!!

on my agenda tonight?   chill – walk the pup and then straight to bed.

hopefully i will be back to fabulous, incredible bee in the morning 🙂

wordpress counter



Site Meter

Advertisements

my realizations

i had a wonderful New Year.

i spent it with people i loved – the whole day a celebration.
i hope to live the rest of the year with that much love.
every single day.

the evening was very quiet and intimate.  spent with a couple of people who are very important in my life.
we had dinner by candle light and a few glasses of wine.
no, no one got wasted or stupid – it’s amazing how much we have all matured! lol

there was alot of laughter and love.
it made me realize that this is exactly how i want my life to be.

i want my life to be simple – filled with a small circle of friends who have more than enough love
to give…
and i to give to them.

i want to spend my life laughing, being intimately involved with all of the people i care for in my life. (no not in a sexual way lol)

i want to have more dinners by candle light.  i want to drink wine with friends and crave their company.
i want to show appreciation for every single relationship i have created in my life.

i want my last night of 2011 to reflect my destiny for 2012…and always.

i realize i do not ask for alot – but you would be surprised at how absolutely incredible it is to be able to say…

i am loved…i am lucky…i am blessed.

this seems like an appropriate time to throw in one of my favourite quotes:

“may the best of your past be the worst of your future.

all the best to everyone for 2012 and always.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

the proof is in my puddin’

i’ve gained weight.

there is no way to sugar coat it…or any way to deny it (believe me i’ve tried)
i’ve gained weight.

it was confirmed last weekend…when i went to go visit my family.
no – mom didn’t say i gained weight
she just didn’t say anything.  i already knew how i was feeling – but her lack of words said more than i wanted to hear

now when i say i’ve gained weight…we aren’t talking alot.  not alot at all.
enough that i can feel and see the difference.
my clothes still fit.  surprisingly enough…but they just don’t fit the same.
just enough to make me realize i either do something now or end up where i was a year and a half ago.

i get it.  there are more tragic things going on in the world than to worry about something so very insignificant
people are sick, people are dying, people are hurting.
most people would wish to have this ridiculous problem.
there are more important things happening in my own life to worry about the pounds i’ve put back on

it’s no big deal
this is how i am keeping my head screwed on.
it’s no big deal…
lather, rinse repeat.

it sets off alarm bells in my head.  but that’s a good thing.
to have alarms going off means that i am aware of the situation and i can stop it…now.
i’ve been on it – religiously for the past couple of weeks
clean eating and my 3 days at the gym.

the past couple of months have been busy.
it was summer and there were alot of social engagements going on.  i was a busy girl…and my regular day to day routine suffered for it.
it was fun – and i have no regrets…but that was the beginning of the downward spiral.
i also had some personal drama – that made me want to sit on the couch and eat comfort food instead of taking care of myself
that didn’t last long – but it happened and i am sure contributed to my gain.
people who are not worth it – should not be affecting my life that way
add on the insomnia and headache i’ve been nursing for about 3 weeks – which is most likely related to my last reason above…and i am just a hot mess.

i also got cocky.  i was at a very comfortable place when it came to my weight
and so i allowed myself to eat things – that most would consider healthy, but for me…and my PCOS…is a no no.

i started to eat sandwiches on multi grain bread – or burgers on multi grain buns
subs – again on multi grain bread
not every day – but perhaps once a week.
it’s now confirmed – that i just can’t do that.

and so yes…i’ve gained weight
i’ve taken a couple of days to feel sorry for myself…have a little cheese with my wine.
and now i am back to kicking some serious ass.

i am thinking of a trip to Greece in the summer
that means bikini wearing…lots and lots of bikini wearing.
i’ve got less than a year to get rockin’ abs.
i’ve got a goal on the horizon – i can do this.
i can do this right?

damn right i can

wordpress counter



Site Meter

a night on the town

is just what the doctor ordered!!

babe scored some tickets to a concert for last night.

we went to go see Kenny Chesney.  why not!  i mean i am not a country fan, but floor seats, down town Toronto and babe sounds like a fun night.

and it was.  there are youtube videos and pictures to document the insanity – and no – i will not post the videos. lol

we went to a swanky, over the top restaurant before the concert.
what to eat, what to eat???
a burger cost 20 bucks!!!  how could i order a 20 dollar burger and feel ok about throwing away the bun??

so this is what i ordered…

it’s some sort of chicken with “the chefs secret sauce” …there was definitely soy sauce and hot sauce in there…i gotta tell you it was delicious.
mmm mmm good.

see how much i am enjoying it? lol

here were some other options on the menu.


waaaay over priced, but you know what?  i would go back again.
i mean they had heated toilet seats!!!  heated toilet seats people!!!!
i never ever sit on a public toilet – but how could you not try it out?

and these were your options:

kinda makes a 20 dollar burger acceptable lol

as if the washroom wasn’t sweet enough…there is a wall of wine on your way in and out.  um hi, this would be my heaven.

once we were done and asked for the bill – this is what we got:

at least they have a sense of humour! clever clever

i would do it all again in a heart beat.  what an awesome night!

i leave you with a picture of the well known CN Tower…so pretty at night!

and one of the CN tower from babe’s sunroof!

wordpress counter



Site Meter

they say…

laughter is the best medicine…and i would have to agree.

there is nothing better than getting together with friends and laughing.
you know the kind…the one that starts in the pit of your stomach…and makes you cry from joy.
i love belly laughing.
i love crying from laughing so hard.

what can be better for your health?  good friends, lots of laughs…and making memories.

While i was at a bbq, my friend and i decided to head over to the corner store.

there was a stand full of sunglasses that i of course had to look through…

and these are what i found:

aren’t they awesome???  my god.  i thought they were bad as is….and then i discovered they did tricks.  take a look lol


I DIED!!!  i mean why on earth do you need glasses like this?  why??!?!?!?

i was laughing so hard, that the guy who owned the variety store couldn’t help but start laughing himself lol
we sat there for a few minutes just laughing. (although i am pretty sure he was laughing at what the flourescent lighting did to my hair!)
sooooo funny.

My friend tried to talk me in to buying them.  I am kicking myself in the ass for not getting them now.  I just love them.  Maybe i can get my friend to buy them for me…

Anyways i couldn’t leave the store empty handed…so i ended up buying these babies.  Not as bad…right?

I am still laughing.

Hope this post made you smile today 🙂

wordpress counter



Site Meter

water for elephants

going to the gym with GB is fun
it always has been.
i have no issues going to the gym alone – i go alone about twice a week
i am no longer concerned with who is there or who is looking at me
i could care less

but it seems like time goes on forever when i am alone.

when GB and i are together…she does her own thing while i am doing my weights
but we meet afterwards and do the elliptical together
so we talk, laugh and catch up on the day
and before you know it our half hour is up.

when i am alone, a half hour seems like a lifetime.

Sometimes there is music on in the gym…but most times there isn’t.
i seem to go to the gym at the same time another regular goes
and he sets all the tv’s on the sci-fi channel…and honestly…i’d rather watch paint dry.

i have started bringing the ipod to my work outs when i am alone
i am constantly reminding myself to use my inside voice when i have those headphones in
because my natural instinct tells me to break out in song.

so now i’ve started to think about other things i can do while i am getting my sweat on.

i love to read.  i mean big love.
but really…i have no time.  none.
i get into bed at night and attempt to pick up my book…and i am out like a light
i’ve been wanting to finish The Girl Who Played With Fire for months now.
it’s just not going to happen. not at a fast pace anyways.

So i started to think…
maybe i should download an audio book.  listen to a book while i am working out!
best of both worlds yes?

I purchased Water for Elephants over the weekend (the movie)
I’ve been wanting to read the book for ages.  Reese Witherspoon is in the movie…and i love her crazy.  say what you will about her, i don’t care…i love me some Reese and will watch any movie she is in…corny or not.
BUT – i really want to read the book first.  I am weird like that.  if any movie has a book – i prefer the book first.

So i downloaded the book – Water for Elephants and off i went to the gym.


At first it was so hard to get in to it.  My mind constantly wanders…i drift off in thought all the time.
so imagine listening to a book and then your mind wanders away.  it’s so easy NOT to concentrate at the gym!

So i did my best to stay focused…and finally i was able to actually listen and retain.  go me!!!
i got in to it so much that i went 10 minutes longer than usual on my elliptical.

this is perfect!!!  i am getting my “reading” done and burning calories.

I am off to the gym tonight alone – and now i am totally ok with it…cause i want to listen to the book.

going to the gym is like being in a relationship – always thinking of ways to keep things fresh and new lol
good times 🙂

wordpress counter



Site Meter

too funny not to share

my friend is currently in the hospital attempting to birth her child

her stubborn child that shoulda came a couple of weeks ago.

we are texting back and forth

yes that’s right…she is in labour…trying to get this child out  and she is text messaging me.  god i love technology.

so she is giving me the scoop…water broke, she got her epidural etc etc.

but she is just not dilating.

texting back and forth back and forth back and forth

finally…having enough of this waiting around business i text her back..

“wouldja tell your vagina to get with the program”

(i laughed so hard at my own joke all by myself – sad really)

and the texting just stopped.

maybe it did the trick 😉

or maybe, just maybe  – i went too far?

pffft, never!

wordpress counter



Site Meter

mr. sun you tease me

i am sure i repeat myself on this blog
it’s bound to happen when you have over 300 posts!
wow…crazy ehh?

i am working from home today…which i know i have talked about before.
believe it or not, i prefer going in to the office.
everything i need is at my finger tips and on a really busy day it’s just easier.
besides…i don’t need to fend for myself when it comes to lunch…someone makes it for me!

sometimes though…there is nothing better than waking up, brewing my coffee and starting up the computer
in my jammies and bed head 🙂
today would be one of those days.

but the sun is teasing me and asking me to come outside and play.

knowing i was working from home…i did not go grocery shopping last night
being at home – gives me ample opportunity to eat…just because.
the fridge is feet away…and c’mon i gotta stretch my little legs…and my stomach lol

i am going to pick up some chicken and veggies for lunch me thinks
then….perhaps a Starbucks coffee and take a walk around the lake with the puppy.
i am never here during the day so this must feel like xmas for her!
besides…what better opportunity to get a little sun kissed.

these are the little luxuries i have when i work from home.

i gave up my gym day today to meet up with some people after work…
we are meeting at my favourite wing place.
i don’t know these people – and so i will not be eating my wings.

i am there to charm and wow…
nothing says charming like suckin’ on a chicken bone with sauce all over your face
lol
hawwwwt!
salad it is…and a gym make up day tomorrow – if i am not exhausted from shopping till i drop of course 🙂
i think the outlet malls in Niagara Falls are calling my name!!

Happy Friday my friends, have an awesome weekend!

wordpress counter



Site Meter

hallelujah

in my neck of the woods…it was hot yesterday
actually hot doesn’t seem like an appropriate word.
it was sweltering…hard to breathe kind of hot.

it was 31 degrees out…with the humidity it felt like 41.
for my American peeps…it was approximately 105.8 out there.

Our seasons are always extreme.  if it weren’t for all the rain we have had
i would think we totally missed spring and hit summer head on.

anyways….

my GB completely backed out of going to the gym yesterday
something about her not wanting to die lol
if you read my blog you would know that my gym is not air conditioned.

i hummed and hawed over it all.  do i go or do i not?

i decided i would go.  if i felt like i was going to die i would just leave…
but not without raising a ruckus and complaining.
that’s right.
i was in a pissy mood just thinking about walking into that place.

So i raced home and walked the puppy….got changed and started walking over to the gym
every step i took i got pissier –  i had a dialogue going on in my head.
if the a/c wasn’t on…i needed to talk to someone who could make that happen.
i was in the mood to bring out bitchy bee.

it should be illegal…air should be on at all times in that place.

but you know what?  it really doesn’t matter.  they don’t have to turn it on…
i mean they got people locked in to contracts – who are paying that place every 2 weeks…
they are set…and they really don’t need to think about us and our needs any further.

so i walked in there…chip on my shoulder…speech prepared…
and it felt cooler in there.
cooler than it did outside.

could it be they finally turned the air on?
why yes…yes i think they did!!!!

it was on…barely.  it was still hot and muggy in there… but every once in a while the cool would touch your sweaty skin
and it felt like heaven.

but…

it was barely on.  i mean barely.
it was actually a pleasure to have stinky, sweaty people walk by me…because that generated a cool breeze for .2 seconds lol

i couldn’t even finish my work out…because i really thought i was going to die
so i skipped out 10 min early.
the thought of 10 more minutes on the elliptical made me cry inside..
but this gives me hope…maybe the a/c will stay on for the rest of the summer.
here’s to wishful thinking.

so after i finished up… i scooted over to McDonald’s and got my “special” iced coffee (no sugar or that syrup they use to sweeten it)
took a cold shower and sat outside in my undies…and checked emails 🙂
life couldn’t get better than that very moment.

drinking iced coffee in my undies…outside.
yeah baby.
summer is here.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

a day off? really?

i started to stir in bed at around 5am – there is nothing more annoying than that
when you can sleep…and are not.

i don’t make lists on paper…unless it’s a long list for the grocery store
all my lists are in my head
and hence the reason i started to wake up at 5.  i started to think of all the things i wanted and needed to do today.
i forced myself to go back to sleep – but when the puppy vomited all over my bed – it was game over.

today is my day off…although i wouldn’t know it.
i was downstairs throwing laundry in before my eyes were even open
can i just say…it is illegal how much laundry i can accumulate in a week.  i think i have a problem.
never mind the extreme rage i seem to get when i do my laundry downstairs – opposed to leaving the premises to do it
people have zero laundry etiquette and i am forced to become one of those angry volatile women
oy.
i have successfully put my clothes in the washer without hurting anyone…the dryer could be a whole other story.

i took today off of work to get things done.
sad isn’t it?
a full day off will help me battle all those things that get left behind
after laundry, will be a much needed oil change.
then cleaning…
i am so domestic it hurts lol

i might just go surprise someone at lunch…cause i love surprising people 🙂
and if time allows i may even fit in a trip to the doggie park
maaaybe

i was out of control this weekend
completely
i ate things i haven’t in well over a year.
but i also went out and had an awesome time with awesome people…so it all balances out.

not sure if the gym is going to get on my list of things to do today…
but with all the running around and sweating in that damn laundry room – i think i will be ok.

my weekend of fun and food cheating was worth me being a domestic  goddess today.
no regrets

wordpress counter



Site Meter