Tag Archives: friendship

cold hands, warm heart

before i could barely unpack from Christmas, i was packed and ready for my 4 day road trip.

i was not prepared. lol

we went from temperatures hovering around zero – to temperatures reaching -24.  seriously.  i couldn’t make that up if i tried.
that wasn’t the best part though – our first day on the road was in a kick ass blizzard.  the kind that had me silently praying to god to see tomorrow
it was terrible.
we spent about 6 hours driving in those conditions – talk about white knuckling it!

and it was so much fun!!
is that wrong?

i posted a video of part of the drive on facebook – go on and take a look if you are my friend!

it was cold, i mean Nunavut cold – i didn’t pack accordingly – but i had the best time!!!!!

i ate.  a hell of alot.  i mean i could have won awards….i was bad – and it was oh so good!!!!  look, you only live once…and i lived it UP!

look at a couple of my breakfasts!!!

we had an impromptu meet up with some really good friends – which was wonderful!  the unexpected is always the best!!

i spent 50 bucks on a winter hat and mittens.  i also scored a phone number.  John – oh how i miss him.  he gave me a discount on my items and another free pair of gloves lol
score for my ego!

so this was me prepared to head out doors:  i love my monkey hat!

our last night there we went to a different hotel.  i was wearing my hat, gloves, scarf and was still shaking.  i think the lady felt sorry for me and we got a free room upgrade lol.
i guess i had wimpy tourist written all over me lol

i am exhausted.  i am getting ready to pour myself a glass of wine and then head off to bed.

tomorrow is another crazy busy day.  a big gathering with loved ones to celebrate the new year – and then later in the evening another gathering.
the love never ends.  and the food won’t either!

i am so excited about 2012.  i am not sure why.  i haven’t felt this excited about a new year – in forever.  i can only assume some wonderful, magical things are in the works for me.
i say bring it on.

i don’t make new years resolutions.  i find they stress me out and put too much pressure on me.

i just plan on being the best bee i can be. to love and be loved.  to be kind.  to be generous.  to give of myself what i expect others to give to me.

i just plan on being me.

all the best to all of you for 2012!!  see you in the new year!

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i finally found it!

Christmas spirit.

it wasn’t in the gifts…or under the tree.

it wasn’t in my niece literally freaking out when she opened the gifts i got her – although i gotta say the joy in that little girl didn’t hurt.
it wasn’t about the monetary value of everything i was given – although i was spoiled rotten this year.

i guess i had always looked in those places for some sort of fulfilment.
but it was always anti climactic.  there has always been such a build up to the one day…so much rushing around…so much money to be spent, for literally minutes of gratification.
it’s always been a let down.
not that it wasn’t nice…because Christmas has always been “nice”.  just not as amazingly awesome as people build it up to be.

no, i never really found the Christmas spirit.

but i did this year.

i found it in my family…both blood, and the family i have created.
i found it around the dinner table – gathered around so many people i love…and that love me.
i found it in the conversation, in my fathers eyes…my mothers smile.
in the strangers we welcomed with open arms to our home.
i found it in all the children…all the new additions to my family –  blood and my own.

i found it when my niece jumped on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck and said “auntie bee, i love you so much…you are my best friend”
long after the gifts had been unwrapped.
i found it in my nephews smile the moment he laid his eyes on me…reaching out for me to hold him
i found it when my niece only wanted me to take her potty…and kissed me and said thank you.
i found it in the card she signed all by herself.

i found Christmas spirit when i cooked dinner tonight.  sure, the turkey was already made…but i made the rest of it  and i felt great doing so.
sitting in love – enjoying this time…because this is a memory…a moment i can look back on and smile…and remember the overwhelming love i felt in that very moment – 20 years later.

i didn’t count carbs, calories, obsess about when i would find time to go to the gym.
i didn’t care that all the food i have consumed over these past weeks would result in junk in my trunk, and make my clothes snug.

i learned this year, the spirit of the season.
it’s about the people who surround you…it’s about the people that love you…and that you love.

none of these people care about the size of my waist, or the calories i count.  they care about me.  just me.  and what a wonderful feeling that is.

this year i felt a sense of peace that i have never felt before.  a feeling of such extreme love for those in my life, i could never write down in words.
it’s just unexplainable.
i am at a loss for words…and that’s ok.  because this feeling inside me – is not for me to explain…it’s for me to enjoy and appreciate.
i am such a very lucky girl.  it amazes me how lucky i really am.

this my friends is Christmas spirit.

the Christmas joy continues…the next few days will no doubt be equally amazing.

for once in my life…i can honestly say, i love Christmas.
and it had nothing to do with the presents under the tree.

it’s about love.  true honest love.
how simple is that???
how did i not get that?

tomorrow i travel a couple of hours to see my best friend – an extension of my already crazy big family.
i can’t wait.

i hope your Christmas was beautiful as mine.
it just keeps getting better.

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feeling blessed

today was a day.
well it wasn’t so bad until the end of the day really.
you know, when my work day was done and i was racing out to meet GB at the gym.
i hopped into my car…and that’s right about where things got yucky.

my car wouldn’t start.
the battery finally died.

can i tell you for 9 years my car has been perfect (as i knock on wood)
the fact that my original battery lasted for 9 years is crazy!!

i’ll admit…i am a typical girl when it comes to cars.  i only know how to drive them.
i wouldn’t be able to change my own tire…and i certainly wouldn’t be able to change my own battery.

i asked my friend if he could give me a boost so i could get to a shop and get a new battery.
he did more than i could ever ask him to.
he drove me to Canadian Tire and we picked up a battery and he changed it out for me.
how awesome is he????
it was pouring rain – the weather was crap…and he still offered to help.
now that is true friendship.  i see a bottle of wine is some one’s future.

it was stressful for me driving home…i got all paranoid about the car stalling etc (it was idling really low)
but i made it home…me and my car all in one piece.

i was gifted chocolate to calm my poor little nerves.  don’t worry it was low carb 🙂

so now i am home safe and sound.  i didn’t hit the gym, but there is always tomorrow.

i guess i am blogging here because i just feel blessed.
i am surrounded by so many good people…it makes me warm and fuzzy inside!

i leave you with a quote i read tonight – it stuck with me.  enjoy!

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. ~ Mary Oliver

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day of awesome

yesterday was a good day.

scratch that – yesterday was an awesome day.

from the moment i opened my eyes…to the moment i went to bed….it was awesome.

i had an extremely productive day at work and got caught up on the days that i missed.
i left the office ahead of myself!!!

i got a totally random and completely unexpected “i love you more” text message from someone – well someone that i adore and love more than the cows in Newfoundland – and so that totally made my morning.
(you know who you are!)

as i wrote yesterday – it was going to be my first day back at the gym after a week of not going.
i was a little worried since i still have remnants of my cold – especially in my chest
but it was amazing!!!!!!
i had a kick ass night at the gym.  i didn’t feel winded or exhausted – it was just awesome!!!

i went home and treated myself to a long hot bubble bath.  the bubble bath was jasmine scented.  i have never had anything jasmine scented – and i just loved it…i awakened all my senses.
it was heavenly

then i had dinner made for me.  an awesomely delicious kick ass low carb dinner.  it was sooooooo very good!!!
(mmm, now i’m hungry lol)

later in the evening i caught up with two very important people in my life.  talk about feeling the love…that was just awesome!!!!!!

umm….oh yeah…i finally found my favourite Gavin Degraw song on Youtube – so now i can continue on my quest to make everyone fall in love with this song.
yay me!

i went to bed at a decent hour last night.  that never happens.  i only woke up a couple of times choking/coughing which is a total improvement.

i didn’t want to get out of bed this morning – but i never want to get out of bed – so that’s nothing new.  have you slept in my bed??? lol  you wouldn’t want to get outta bed either.

So i am trying my best to make today an extension of yesterday.  awesome.
(i hope i didn’t jinx myself!)

if you feel like sending me a random i love you text message (if i know you and love you of course, otherwise that would just be weird) please go right ahead!!

i will leave you with my awesome song choice of the day.
click here for some gavin

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the power of friendship

i had a day yesterday.  not a bad day.  just a day.

i was unexpectedly sucked into a time vortex and it had me feeling rather blaaaahhhhh.

nothing good comes from over thinking anything…especially things that you cannot change.
i was going to blog about it yesterday…but i didn’t even have the energy to put in words what it was that i was feeling.
i didn’t even know what it was that i was feeling.
besides it would be a blog next door thing…
boo.

i like to use my past as a measuring tool.  to see where i came from and where i am now.
i certainly don’t like to sit in it and dwell and think and wonder about the what ifs and run scenarios around in my head that ultimately…at the end of the day really just don’t matter.
the past is buried.  you cannot bring back to life what’s dead…
am i making any sense? lol
it’s ok…it’s for me to understand anyways.

it is what it is.

and what it was yesterday was gym day.

i had zero desire to go get my sweat on if i gotta be honest with you.
i just wanted to go home and bake a cheesecake…and eat it lol
or better yet, i just wanted to go home and drink a glass of wine or two.

but my gym buddy was not cancelling on me.
if she wasn’t cancelling…i couldn’t either.

so we went with me having zero motivation – which i gotta say…never happens.
i just didn’t want to be there.
i just wanted to be at home chewing and mulling thoughts…cause you know that’s productive!

my gym buddy… who i shall refer to as GB from now on..as it takes less time to type out…
knew what was going on in my head…as we talked during the day.
she knew where i was at…and it was her mission to get me outta that head space.

she had me on an elliptical race.  we went on one…and it just didn’t feel right
and so we went to the other side of the room on two other ones…where they still didn’t feel right…
i guess i had a pained expression on my face…
and we looked at eachother…
which initiated the kind of laughter i can only describe as forbidden.
you know the kind…laughing hysterically at church…or a funeral.
the more we tried not to laugh, the louder it came out…with me at one point actually trying to
cross my legs while on the elliptical…cause well…i was gonna pee in my pretty yoga pants.
i do believe if i had a free hand i woulda grabbed my crotch and done my famous pee-pee dance
(ok it’s only famous around my friends, but whatever don’t judge me!)

we got looks…we were outta control…
we couldn’t breathe from working out and laughing at the same time.

and in that very moment i knew i was exactly where i needed to be.

and in that very moment i was grateful for my amazing friendships, grateful for the people that get me…understand the way my head works and bring me out of it.

ya know…each friend in my life is uniquely different….
with GB i can vent to my heart’s content…and laugh until the tears run down my face.

and so the world didn’t end yesterday because i was forced down memory lane.
(it’s supposed to end on the 21st anyways right?)
no, the world did not shut down and stop existing…

the world is exactly as it should be…and i was reminded that where i am…is more than good enough..because… i am loved.

sooooooooooooooooo anyways…

in honour of my girl Adele performing in my awesome city tonight…click here to get your hump on 🙂

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i am a superstar

going to the gym with my gym buddy is fun!  no other entertainment required.
no ipod or anything…just us.
we kinda have that unspoken language…where just one look or head gesture can entertain us forever, or make us pee our pants from laughing.
it’s good times 🙂

we can’t go to the gym together alllll the time.  life happens.  sometimes something comes up for one of us where we have to change our schedules up and more than likely go alone.
going alone is not scary for me anymore…but it does get a little boring.

enter last week.

i went to the gym twice on my own.
not a problem.

the one day i went prepared…my ipod fully charged (which reminds me…it loses it’s charge in 24 hours…what is up with that??)
so anyways, i had my tunes to keep my brain busy….cause face it…staring at yourself in the mirror while you are on the elliptical for half an hour can get rather boring…unless dr. oz is on…but i digress…

i left the gym that day feeling perturbed.  totally irritated.
it was a new group of people that i had never seen before…and i felt like everyone was watching me.
it was the creepiest feeling ever.

i was kicking some serious ass on the elliptical and kept feeling a set of eyes on me…staring and staring.
at one point i made eye contact with her…and gave her a look…a look that only i could give.  a look of annoyance…and full of attitude.
i thought…this chick must be floored at how awesomely i rock this elliptical!!  she wants to be JUST like me…
cause really who doesn’t?
i thought my fancy foot work impressed her…cause it impresses me to no end that i don’t fall off that thing…being accident prone and all.

i thought about it for a couple of days….
i thought about all the staring…how uncomfortable i felt…
and it dawned on me.

that’s the day i was listening to my ipod.

let me just set the scene for you.

when i am listening to music…i am in my own world.
nothing else exists.
in the tub, in the car, outside in public…you get the idea.
that is one of the reasons i started listening to the boring radio at work…
cause when i would listen to music i actually loved…i would break out into song randomly.
i mean full out song.
to the point where coworkers would smile…and make comments on my voice…
oops…was that out loud?
i always think i am using my inside voice…but really…i couldn’t be louder if i tried.

i remember quite clearly that i was rockin’ the elliptical while listening to an array of my favourite up beat songs.

adele came on…she had me rolling in the deep.

i was grooving on the elliptical…and i am pretty sure when my favourite parts of songs came on
i became a full blown super star.
it’s like a muscle spasm…you can’t control it…it’s just gonna happen.

i don’t know how loud i was…or how silly i looked…cause i am sure i had a smile on my face…
rockin away…and then wailing away

“The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all”

i am pretty sure…almost 111110000% convinced i was using my outside voice that day.

to my fellow gym peeps.  i am sorry.  no one needs to hear that.

from now on, Dr. Oz it is.

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don’t forget

to tune in to the Grammy’s tonight.

my beautiful friend Keri will be on the red carpet interviewing celebrities for Ellen.

talk about having your dreams come true.

i will be tuned in cheering her on!!!

and now…

hi ho, hi ho, it’s to the gym i go 🙂

yesterday my smallest pair of pants felt looser…i guess the gym really is working!

Happy Sunday kids!

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wow -i am outta control

i know!  3 posts today…what is wrong with me???

i am just so uber excited for my friend…i cannot stop watching her on Ellen…she made me cry i was laughing so hard!!!

ya know..the scary thing is…she is always that happy!

anyways, if you didn’t get a chance to see the show…i will bring it to you.

Keri – you are made of awesome baby!

Click here for keri!

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