Tag Archives: dinner

guilt

we’ve all experienced it.

staying with a lover long after the love has gone
maintaining a friendship that no longer serves you
eating something not on plan and then feeling horrible afterwards…
all in the name of guilt.

when i was younger i used to tell my mom that when i was born
they must have handed her the mother’s guilt manual
and it must have been her bible.
it takes one look, or 3-4 words strung together to make me feel guilty as sin..to this day.
she’s got a way about her.

i have been struggling with huge guilt this week
Mamma’s guilt.
i am aware that i do not have any children of the human variety
but my furbabies are like my babies…and i love them.

the puppy has been on her own during the day this week
she has never been alone for a long period of time
i don’t have the money to take her to doggie day care
and so it is what it is.
she is just a baby…and it makes me feel so very guilty to have her go from never being alone
to being alone all day.
i sit at my desk with knots in my stomach all day…wondering what kind of mischief she is getting in to…what spot she has decided to relieve her little baby bladder on etc etc.

the first day (which i captured on video)
i sat outside my door for a few minutes, afraid to open it.  i was afraid of what i would find
i walked in…and she was a perfect angel.  no accidents…and my couch was still in tact
this went on for 3 days.

yesterday her resentment took over…and i came home to several pees.
oy vay.
not impressed.

but i can’t get mad.  it really isn’t her fault.
although she has been completely house trained since 5 months old (yes i am bragging)
i need to understand that the changes happening in my life…are also happening in hers.

i also go to the gym 3 times a week…which adds to my guilt.
i race home from work…i take her for a walk…and then i abandon her again for another almost 2 hours.
i feel like a terrible mamma.
i try to make up for it with treats and a lot of cuddle love time.

but guilt can be a good thing…a motivator
yesterday…being a day off from the gym
i threw on my work out pants…a sweatshirt…threw my hair back in a pony and brought out my Skechers that were retired for the winter.
we went for a 45 minute walk!
not too shabby for a day off of working out…and she very much enjoyed the sunshine and cool breeze.
i felt like a better mommy for it…and burned some calories
i also had my ego stroked as the boys whistled and honked at me as they drove by.
i still got it kids…lol
or they just thought the puppy was super cute 🙂

i won’t even talk about my dinner date last night
i am feeling waaaaay too guilty over the things i consumed
i will work it all out at the gym tonight…

sometimes…guilt can be a good thing

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weekend of love

i spent the whole weekend with a very lovely lady.
she’s beautiful, funny, loving and sweet.

we went for long walks, watched tv, cuddled.

i am pretty sure it’s love.

i didn’t want the weekend to end.

we shared a very lovely dinner together…and i managed to get some of it on video.

click here to watch!

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right my wrong

once i recovered from my carb coma yesterday
i was ready to think about what i should have for dinner.

carbs are sneaky little buggers.
they play with your head.

after the whole afternoon was spent in a fog
and feeling like i could use a nap…
my brain was trying to convince me to keep going.

the little voice inside my head was saying
“well you already blew it with lunch…you might as well make a day of it”

so i started to think about Kraft Dinner, or a grilled cheese sandwich
some stove top stuffing ( i could eat a box of that…i love it!)
then i started thinking about Chinese food…a buffet perhaps
but i haven’t had Indian food in forever so why not eat that…
ohhhh and then there’s Thai food.
etc
etc
etc

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i could have totally given in and gone on a binge
that’s why i have to be so careful when i actually do cheat…sometimes it sets off other cravings…some that are hard to resist.

Yesterday i resisted the temptation…and i righted my lunch wrong lol

Thursdays are my happy days and i wasn’t going to ruin it by making myself feel guilty over all the crap that i ate.

And so this is what i made:

doesn’t that look absolutely delish?  cause it was ( and notice how none of the food touches lol)

i picked up some fresh rainbow trout.  seasoned it with lemon and garlic…and then steamed some green beans and tossed them in a little bit of butter, lemon and garlic.
it was amazing…my belly did a happy dance!!

i have a weekend of me time…
i think i am going to spend it outdoors…and then cooking up storms.
life is doing a major 180 as of Monday…mamma needs to prepare!

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matters of the heart

i was looking through some pictures last night.
album after album on the computer…bringing back so many different memories and emotions.

i noticed all of the pictures had 2 things in common
1 – food
2 – love

sometimes i complain that i have too much to do..too many places to be…
but looking back at these pictures, i realize how truly blessed i am.
blessed that i have so many people in my life that love me and want me around
what better feeling is there???

every special occasion is captured on camera. i would say “film” but that’s not really accurate these days 🙂
you have the typical bee pictures of food…and then you have all those other pictures…
people hugging, people smiling…people looking so very happy and completely unaware that they are being photographed
those are my favourite pictures.

i talk alot about food on here…well, because that’s this blogs primary focus
but i don’t think i’ve ever really talked about the way i love.

i’ve said the holidays are all about the food…
but i think i’ve changed my mind.

it’s all about the love.

whether you spend this time with the people you are related to…share the same blood line with
or with the family you have created through time
it’s all about love isn’t it?

sure, the food is part and parcel of the holidays
but i’d like to believe that the food tastes all the sweeter when you are with the ones you love.

how would the holidays feel without it?  without love?
losing those that you love…
i can assure you…the food would just be food…and the special day would be…just another day.

i have so many pictures, hugging those that matter most to me
where you can see the love just pouring out of me.
i am glad i have those.

sometimes i think about losing.
you know…losing someone i love.  i know it’s inevitable, but it’s still such a sad thought in my mind.

so i am grateful.  so very thankful
to be busy, to be overwhelmed, to have so much to do
because that means i am loved.
i am so very loved.

i decided to post this picture.  one of my favourites from the weekend!

this is me and my daddy.
he loves me 🙂
and you can tell by just one look at my face, that i very much love him back.
this was taken one week into his radiation treatment…3 more weeks to go.
we know he will be just fine…but…nothing lasts forever…and it makes you think…down the road…
to places you’d rather not let your mind wander to.

so i choose to make the memories…i choose to make as many awesome, amazing, fantastic memories
so i can always hold on and always remember.
and when i look back at the pictures, my heart will be warm with the love i felt in that very exact moment.

yeah, the food was awesome this weekend
but the love was even better.

i get that you need food to live.
but love?  love is what keeps you alive.

without it…life ain’t worth that much is it.

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thank you for yum

there was a big celebration last night kids 🙂

i took a special someone out for a special dinner…and brought with me my camera.  we celebrated a new beginning…a new chapter…to greater things a-comin’!!

ya know, it’s nice to go out for dinner with someone who doesn’t care if you want to take a million pictures of what’s about to go in to your belly.

what can i say?  i love food!

so allow me to make your mouth water!

i started off with….

yes, this is low carb beer…and i love it

then…

my caesar salad – no croutons

and my main meal:

medium rare steak with mushrooms, in a peppercorn sauce.  no worries, the baguette was for show…i didn’t eat it 🙂

followed by my thank you note:

annnnnnnd finally…the purrrffffect way to end the night:

Hope you enjoyed my food porn…god knows i did!

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and it’s over

thank God!!

after 48 hours of non stop feasting…this girl is done.

who knew i could put back so much food in such little time? lol

after today’s dinner…i just could not move.  at all.

i took pictures of dinner…but i just can’t bring myself to post them…i wonder if i will ever eat again!!

I hope everyone ate as well as i did, and that you had a wonderful Easter.

as for dessert…i coulda chomped on these cheeks all day long.  i mean look at that face!!!!

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one dinner down

one more to go!

i had an amazing Easter dinner with amazing people today!  i am still beyond stuffed!!
excuse me while i undo my pants 🙂

one more tomorrow and i am sure i will be bringing home leftovers that will last me for days.

lookie loo at what i ate:

of course…i started the day off with this:

and then i had:

looks delish yes???

and i get to do it alllll over tomorrow!!!

i may or may not have had some milk chocolate Lindt easter eggs….shhh don’t tell anyone!

ha!  not to worry…you know i will kill myself on the elliptical come monday….cause that’s the way i roll.

Happy Easter every bunny!

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today

is kinda like heaven 🙂

i got to sleep in on a Friday…

i am sipping on my 2nd cup of delish coffee…

going to get ready for a kick ass session at the gym (leaving my ipod at home)

then…i shall treat myself to a manicure, a lovely dinner…

and then off to spend time with lovely friends and a ton of puppies.

heaven right?

Happy Bunny weekend!!

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speechless

yesterday was one of those days.

You know the one…

Where everything just goes amazingly perfect?

Like the universe was up all night, plotting with the angels, waiting patiently for you to open your eyes…to see the expression on your face when you finally figured out that today…

today was going to be your day.

Yesterday was amazing!!

I guess you are waiting to hear about all the incredible, life altering things that happened to me in a span of 24 hours right?

Well….
Then you must not know me!

It’s the simple things my friends….the simplest things make me happy.
I really am not hard to please.

I started the morning by waking up – always a good sign yes?
Lol

What makes it even better is that I woke up before my alarm clock.
This never happens.
I am not a morning person…and I hopped right out of bed, wide awake…ready to start my day!

I ended up treating myself to a wonderful (on plan) breakfast…
Which I am sure is the reason I had an uber productive morning.

I had a lunch date in the afternoon…which is always awesome.
I feasted on a huge, and I mean huge Cobb salad….i couldn’t even finish it all.
It was perfect…and the company was ok too 😉

By the end of the day…I was bouncing off the walls.
I still have no idea why I had so much energy…and why I was so happy.
I can only assume the cook slipped something into my eggs.

I got home – changed immediately and walked over to the gym.
I had a kick ass work out…I mean kick.ass!!!
I could have kept going, but past experience told me it probably wasn’t a good idea.

So…I raced home and headed to the mall…

Had my favourite meal there…did some shopping – bought myself a little somethin’ somethin’
(seems I had a huge desire to get back into an old hobby – pics of that will end up on the blog next door sometime in the near future)
Walked by Laura Secord and decided to treat myself to some sugar free chocolate goodness.

On my way home…still in energizer bunny mode, I debated whether to head out for a long walk…since it was so beautiful out there…
But once I stepped foot in the house…I decided I should allow myself the luxury of unwinding.

I took a hot bubble bath, got into my fat pants…had a cup of coffee and ate my chocolate…
Proud of myself for the amazingly healthy/productive day I had….

And then…

Out came the Smart Food sweet and salty popcorn.

Everyone and their mother has been telling me about this stuff…and it was finally time I tried it.

This is a hormonal girl’s dream food. –  and sooooo very not on plan.

So I had about a handful of this stuff – and the bag was put away…cause I could have easily devoured the whole thing…

holy crap batman that stuff is good!

So I spent my evening…going a little off plan.
Eating pop corn, drinking coke zero, adding awesome music to my ipod, discovered new artists and listened to this song over and over and over and over again.

See…it’s the simple things.

It was the most amazingly perfect day.

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on the menu

tonight for dinner…

i made a red curry cocunut chicken stirfry…with red pepper, green beans and onion

on a bed of….

something that looks like rice, but is not.  any guesses?

oh…and it was fantabulous!!

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