Tag Archives: cheats

hot damn!

who knew these wouldn’t be popular??
no one wanted to indulge in my treat!!!

all i know is that this is the best cheat food to get if you are not the sharing kind!!
although when the other “junk” ran out…some people were quick to reach for these.
no way – sorry – if they weren’t good for you before…i ain’t sharing!

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oy vay

i had an amazing day.

i got a lot accomplished…but that included eating things that are soooo not on my menu.
you know how it goes.  you feel like you can conquer the world…and anything goes.
i had amazing company…and life felt amazing…so carbs suddenly became ok as a staple on the menu.

ughhh….

i am tortured tonight…and reminded why i do what i do and why i do it.

as awesome as it is to see the pounds melt off of me…and to see my body changing…

i was reminded why i eat the way i do.
i was reminded that it never had a thing to do with being “skinny”.

i am tortured tonight…because i decided today would be the day i would stray from my “diet”

tonight i was reminded that this is NOT a diet…but a way of life…the way that my life needs to be in order to live in accordance to my body and my heart….and my poor belly.

it’s not worth the pain…not worth the back and forth in my head.

sooo not worth this pain that leaves me aching in the fetal position.

sometimes…only sometimes…i wish carbs were not the enemy.

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a day off? really?

i started to stir in bed at around 5am – there is nothing more annoying than that
when you can sleep…and are not.

i don’t make lists on paper…unless it’s a long list for the grocery store
all my lists are in my head
and hence the reason i started to wake up at 5.  i started to think of all the things i wanted and needed to do today.
i forced myself to go back to sleep – but when the puppy vomited all over my bed – it was game over.

today is my day off…although i wouldn’t know it.
i was downstairs throwing laundry in before my eyes were even open
can i just say…it is illegal how much laundry i can accumulate in a week.  i think i have a problem.
never mind the extreme rage i seem to get when i do my laundry downstairs – opposed to leaving the premises to do it
people have zero laundry etiquette and i am forced to become one of those angry volatile women
oy.
i have successfully put my clothes in the washer without hurting anyone…the dryer could be a whole other story.

i took today off of work to get things done.
sad isn’t it?
a full day off will help me battle all those things that get left behind
after laundry, will be a much needed oil change.
then cleaning…
i am so domestic it hurts lol

i might just go surprise someone at lunch…cause i love surprising people 🙂
and if time allows i may even fit in a trip to the doggie park
maaaybe

i was out of control this weekend
completely
i ate things i haven’t in well over a year.
but i also went out and had an awesome time with awesome people…so it all balances out.

not sure if the gym is going to get on my list of things to do today…
but with all the running around and sweating in that damn laundry room – i think i will be ok.

my weekend of fun and food cheating was worth me being a domestic  goddess today.
no regrets

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the battle of the belly

i don’t know what is wrong with me..but i have been soooo hungry these past couple of weeks.
i am talking famished.

i am not over eating or anything, at least i have that in check…
but my body is restless.
my belly wants food all the time.

this has happened on more than one occasion, but i was laying in bed last night..my tummy began to talk back.
i mean loud grumbling that woke up my puppy and put her in protective mode.
yes that’s right…she started growling back at my belly.
there i was laying in bed laughing at myself.  good times 🙂

i have woken up in the middle of the night…half asleep i raid the fridge…
everything requires some sort of prep…so i settle for some water and head back to bed.

i am pretty sure i know what’s going on.

i have been more free with my carb in take.  no, nothing insane…just introducing some stuff back in to my life…and i think my body is telling me i’m adding too much too fast.

since i stopped eating yogurt at home…i started eating it at work.  this is a fruit yogurt with fresh fruits and granola.  i am sure the yogurt is packed with sugar…and no…i don’t feel guilty for eating a little granola…but i think the sugar is making me hungry!  these yogurt parfaits are made fresh in the morning, so there is no nutritional info listed…so who knows how much sugar i am really consuming.

i had some rye toast on a breakfast date this past weekend…but again…i don’t feel guilty about it…but i think my body is having a hard time processing what’s going on.

it’s time i pulled out the ol’ Atkins book.

although i still wouldn’t mind if i lost a pound or two, that is no longer my focus.  i’ve been able to maintain my weight loss for some time…and i am pretty sure the gym is the reason.  i think that by working out…my options concerning food have opened up.
the gym is just going to be a reality for the rest of my life…and i love it enough to be ok with that.

but in the mean time…i want to start incorporating more foods in to my life.  it’s time.
i’ve been unusually scared of this place – the “maintenance” stage…and i have been putting it off.
in the past…i’ve come to this point, only to turn around and ruin everything i worked so hard for…
not this time.  there is no room in my life for failure.

so i am going to have a hot date with mr. atkins tonight…lay in bed and curl up with his book and read up on the maintenance stage.
lets hope my belly, and the puppy don’t duke it out!

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unwell

i could barely hold my head up yesterday
i debated leaving work…but i stuck it out
on the drive home, i kept the window down (thank god it was nice out)
thinking, i could fall asleep at any given moment.
i guess i don’t have to tell you…the gym did not happen yesterday.

i got home and walked the puppy…and talked her in to napping with me
she cuddled into me and we were both out like a light

i was running a fever and really thought i had the dreaded carb flu..from all the ‘bad” food i had the night before

i slept about 12 hours!  i never sleep 12 hours

it was so beautiful out today…i forced myself outdoors
thought the air and the sun would do me some good

after all it was just the carb flu.

oh and the puppy…thanks to one of my cats, who shall remain nameless – Clark
ate my eyeliner while i was away at work
which resulted in my little puppy vomiting a few times in the middle of the night

anyways i took her to the park today and we both got some exercise
but we both weren’t really at our best…or in the mood.

ok..so maybe it’s not the carb flu at all.

i’ve been surrounded by sick people…i’ve been sneezing and coughing
blahhhh
and i just got up from a nap – sorta.
the puppy didn’t think it was necessary and kept giving me kisses and wanted to play
if she wasn’t so damn cute i’d be mad…
but i am just too tired to be mad

so i guess i gotta admit
i have a cold…and it’s running me down…and i’m as white as a ghost
i feel like i could sleep my life away right now.

why do i get sick on weekends?
whatever happened to missing time off of work to deal with it all?

poor me right?

yes, a little cheese with my whine would be lovely.

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guilt

we’ve all experienced it.

staying with a lover long after the love has gone
maintaining a friendship that no longer serves you
eating something not on plan and then feeling horrible afterwards…
all in the name of guilt.

when i was younger i used to tell my mom that when i was born
they must have handed her the mother’s guilt manual
and it must have been her bible.
it takes one look, or 3-4 words strung together to make me feel guilty as sin..to this day.
she’s got a way about her.

i have been struggling with huge guilt this week
Mamma’s guilt.
i am aware that i do not have any children of the human variety
but my furbabies are like my babies…and i love them.

the puppy has been on her own during the day this week
she has never been alone for a long period of time
i don’t have the money to take her to doggie day care
and so it is what it is.
she is just a baby…and it makes me feel so very guilty to have her go from never being alone
to being alone all day.
i sit at my desk with knots in my stomach all day…wondering what kind of mischief she is getting in to…what spot she has decided to relieve her little baby bladder on etc etc.

the first day (which i captured on video)
i sat outside my door for a few minutes, afraid to open it.  i was afraid of what i would find
i walked in…and she was a perfect angel.  no accidents…and my couch was still in tact
this went on for 3 days.

yesterday her resentment took over…and i came home to several pees.
oy vay.
not impressed.

but i can’t get mad.  it really isn’t her fault.
although she has been completely house trained since 5 months old (yes i am bragging)
i need to understand that the changes happening in my life…are also happening in hers.

i also go to the gym 3 times a week…which adds to my guilt.
i race home from work…i take her for a walk…and then i abandon her again for another almost 2 hours.
i feel like a terrible mamma.
i try to make up for it with treats and a lot of cuddle love time.

but guilt can be a good thing…a motivator
yesterday…being a day off from the gym
i threw on my work out pants…a sweatshirt…threw my hair back in a pony and brought out my Skechers that were retired for the winter.
we went for a 45 minute walk!
not too shabby for a day off of working out…and she very much enjoyed the sunshine and cool breeze.
i felt like a better mommy for it…and burned some calories
i also had my ego stroked as the boys whistled and honked at me as they drove by.
i still got it kids…lol
or they just thought the puppy was super cute 🙂

i won’t even talk about my dinner date last night
i am feeling waaaaay too guilty over the things i consumed
i will work it all out at the gym tonight…

sometimes…guilt can be a good thing

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right my wrong

once i recovered from my carb coma yesterday
i was ready to think about what i should have for dinner.

carbs are sneaky little buggers.
they play with your head.

after the whole afternoon was spent in a fog
and feeling like i could use a nap…
my brain was trying to convince me to keep going.

the little voice inside my head was saying
“well you already blew it with lunch…you might as well make a day of it”

so i started to think about Kraft Dinner, or a grilled cheese sandwich
some stove top stuffing ( i could eat a box of that…i love it!)
then i started thinking about Chinese food…a buffet perhaps
but i haven’t had Indian food in forever so why not eat that…
ohhhh and then there’s Thai food.
etc
etc
etc

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i could have totally given in and gone on a binge
that’s why i have to be so careful when i actually do cheat…sometimes it sets off other cravings…some that are hard to resist.

Yesterday i resisted the temptation…and i righted my lunch wrong lol

Thursdays are my happy days and i wasn’t going to ruin it by making myself feel guilty over all the crap that i ate.

And so this is what i made:

doesn’t that look absolutely delish?  cause it was ( and notice how none of the food touches lol)

i picked up some fresh rainbow trout.  seasoned it with lemon and garlic…and then steamed some green beans and tossed them in a little bit of butter, lemon and garlic.
it was amazing…my belly did a happy dance!!

i have a weekend of me time…
i think i am going to spend it outdoors…and then cooking up storms.
life is doing a major 180 as of Monday…mamma needs to prepare!

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worth.every.bite

i decided to be a little crazy today.

you know…stray off plan…and it’s only Thursday.
Man i am rebellious!

lol

Anyways…this is what i ended up having for lunch:

A stir fry!

this is the stir fry i have raved about before…that i get at work.

The picture doesn’t do it any justice.  You have to see it/eat it to believe it 🙂

They only make this once every two weeks and sometimes just once a month.

They also do not make this over the summer…so this was the last day it was being served until October!!

So i decided i had to go for it.

i made a deal with myself.  i said, self…if you eat this…no cheating over the weekend.

So typically when i eat something not so good…i reserve it for the weekend…

it’s gonna be a clean weekend kids…but it was soooo very worth it.

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and it’s over

thank God!!

after 48 hours of non stop feasting…this girl is done.

who knew i could put back so much food in such little time? lol

after today’s dinner…i just could not move.  at all.

i took pictures of dinner…but i just can’t bring myself to post them…i wonder if i will ever eat again!!

I hope everyone ate as well as i did, and that you had a wonderful Easter.

as for dessert…i coulda chomped on these cheeks all day long.  i mean look at that face!!!!

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issues

i have some

lol

there was a big meeting today…and as all big meetings go…there were left over treats.

my desk seems to be the area of temptation..seriously.  all extremely fattening food ends up right beside me.

most days i have willpower that would knock you on your ass.
this time the treats knocked me on my ass.

ya know, with the learning curve i am going through right now at work, and the stress this role involves…
i had no hope.

none.

the brownie was mine.

i ate it…and i loved it…and i loved it some more.

today was supposed to be my night off at the gym.

instead i ended up there…on a mission.  45 minutes of intense elliptical…never mind the weights before hand
just to kill the guilt.

the rational part of my brain says chill out bee…it was a brownie….

the perfectionist in me…said…suck it up lady…you did it to yourself.

i gotta tell ya…i feel worlds better now.

that is all 🙂

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