this is George. isn’t he a handsome brute? ok, so i named him George. i don’t know his real name or if he is a she…all i know is that he/she is damn cute!
i was going for my walk…i’m doing a good pace, heart rate is up…and there is this cat…just down the street.
all of a sudden he comes running at me. i don’t know whether he is getting ready to make me his personal scratching post or just wants love.
so i stop.
he gets to my feet and starts purring and drops…exposing his belly.
ahhh…he wants love.
who am i to say no??
so i stay a while and love him up…all the while he meows and purrs and poses for my blackberry.
i’d say 5 minutes passed…i put my ear buds back in and said goodbye.
well doesn’t he follow me. not only follow me but almost trips me….meowing all the while. we went a good block and he just wasn’t leaving my side.
so i turned around. i know cats have an awesome sense of where they are…but he just seemed so young…i was afraid if he followed me he wouldn’t remember how to get home.
so back i went with George at my heels…stopping and dropping for the occasional belly rub.
we got back to where i assumed he lived.
i told him to “stay”, “sit”…my apologies…i thought he was a dog.
but he wouldn’t.
he was pulling at my heart strings…big time. i wanted to smoosh him up and take him home with me…but he was well taken care of…and loved by someone else
besides…i so do not need a cat.
i kinda made a sound to scare him so he wouldn’t follow me…and felt bad that perhaps i was a bit too mean.
but he stayed and i felt good that he was safe.
so not only did i get some sweet cat lovin’, but got some extra walking time in.
Funny i say that…considering i was rather irritable at the start of it. lol
I allowed myself to feel tied down by rules, by the things i couldn’t do…as opposed to seeing all the things i could do.
the weekend presented itself to me…wide open with possibilities. i was not tied down to any particular schedule…i could do what i wanted and when i wanted. i could sleep in, or wake up early and take naps any time i wanted.
how perfect to not be on a constant schedule. to just be.
it was almost liberating to be told to take it easy…to not over do anything. i was given permission to just be. i actually got to sit back and enjoy my weekend…without restraints. restraints aren’t a good thing for me on a good day.
the weather was purrrfect in the city. living literally minutes away from the water front…we took advantage of the weather…grabbed an iced coffee from Tim Hortons (which is now my most recent addiction btw) and sat by the water. we watched the boats, the people…the ducks…and my favourite…the one legged goose. At first i felt sorry for him, wondering what happened to him…and if he was in pain. i wanted to take him home and make him mine. But he showed me he was just fine and coping well…as he out swam the crew he was with.
the sun kissed me all over and reminded me how in love it was with me…and i glowed, and glowed and glowed.
I loved it so much…sitting by the water…feeling the breeze…we ended up going twice in one day.
we promised we would do this often…
i ate whatever i wanted…and everything i wanted fell in to my plan. i had no desire to stray…no desire to feed my initial irritability.
i just “was”
and it was awesome.
and i am only talking about Saturday. Sunday is a whole other post.
I ended the weekend…sitting on my balcony star gazing…thinking and writing….
and then cuddled with my most favourite feline companion. Sitting there on the floor…getting lost in her purr…i was overcome with emotion…and i just went with it.
She hugged my face, gave me kisses….as if to assure me that everything is as it should be, and that you cannot stop the inevitable.
It was then that i realized…that even the most saddest, profound moments…can be the most beautiful…if you let them be.
beauty is measured in the moments…and the moment was heart wrenching and beautiful all in the same breath.
these moments are a rarity…and so i cherish them now…more than i ever did in the past 16 years.
even in my sadness, there is beauty all around me.
if you seek you shall find.