Tag Archives: carbs

feeding the feelings

let’s be real

i’ve been gone for a while

it’s what i do

when things are going on – i get gone – if you know what i mean.

the last few months of 2017 were a bit of a shit show

you know, illness, injury, losses
some i knew were coming, and others i was completely blindsided by

then there was the christmas season – that seems to last a lot longer than it should
enter in a birthday (yes i can have cake and sushi and wine and whateverthehelliwant on my birthday)

it was just a horrible, destructive combination

slowly – almost without even realizing it…

i traded in my workouts for lazy nights on the couch
all of a sudden veggies weren’t so appealing – and all i wanted were fries..and naps
i could go on…but i won’t

i will let you in on a little secret

under this tough, bitchy, nothing ever bothers me exterior
this girls got feelings
shhh. don’t tell anyone

i was sad. i was stressed. i was defeated.

and so i do what i always do
i feed my feelings

i fed them all the carbs. alllll the carbs
i gave them love and affection and held them in a big bear hug
in the form of food

enter my Greek mother’s Christmas baking – and damn – that’s like a kiss on my little bruised soul

all the food
all the time

but i recognize it (now)

the damage has been minimal…but it’s still damage

it’s funny to me – the way people cope
how we all cope
our vices may be different – but we all have vices don’t we?

it’s not my first rodeo here (oh and i’ve been watching dr.phil that i pvr’d – perhaps a bit too much)

i am all too familiar with stress…illness..injuries…losses
i mean – it’s life
with the good comes the bad
it’s not like i’m new to this

but i am only human
and sometimes – only sometimes
i get sad
and i throw myself a pity party (albeit a damn long one)

i eat crap – that makes me feel good…for a few moments
only to feel like crap from eating crap

lather rinse repeat

i wasn’t doing my little sad girl feelings any good
i was trying to feel better – feel ok – and i only ended up feeling worse

so i am cleaning out the fridge this weekend
replenishing my good stuff.
to be honest i miss the good stuff

(i’m gonna eat the dill pickle chips though – i can’t throw them away, i’m not a monster)

this isn’t a new years resolution
it’s life
the way i live

i just hit a bit of a bump in the road

this all came to me in the course of an hour
as i was prepping dinner on this unbelievably cold January night

the mother of all comfort foods

mac and cheese

not your average Kraft Dinner – but the real stuff. made from scratch mac and cheese

see? comfort = all the carbs

i’m going to eat it – and i am going to enjoy it

then i’m gonna get my big girl panties on
and kick some serious ass

i did all the feeling – and now it’s time to get back to hardcore bee 😉

gurrrl

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day-cation

boo

the day-cation is officially over.
funny how when you are having a great time… time passes so quickly!!!

it was a great weekend.
sigh
and it’s over
a very expensive weekend – but you only live once!
see my new stylin’ hat?  i know the picture sucks but look at my bee-utiful hat!!!!

it was such an American weekend lol

a few years ago they got rid of all of the Outback restaurants in Canada.
i was devastated.  i loved the Outback!!!!!!
so as we were driving to our hotel to check in – what do we pass?????
AN OUTBACK!!!!
within walking distance!!!!
craaaaaaazy

i don’t have to tell you where we ate
and i will not tell you what i ate (but i will show you something i ate lol)

i was soooo very bad…i have the headache today to show for it

it was an amazing weekend.  lots of walking, laughing, eating…and wine 🙂
it was purrrfect.
i am glad we got to walk around and take things in – burn off dinner…take in the view.

i’ve been there before…but each and every time i go, i see through new eyes.
i have amazing memories and not so amazing memories of that place
but each time i go…it just keeps getting better and better – this is one of the pictures from the hotel.  not a bad view huh?

For breakfast we went to IHOP
again, i didn’t think we had IHOP’s in Canada…so of course we just had to eat there
i had strawberry banana pancakes
i thought i died and went to heaven…and then so did my belly.  i could not eat all of it…tooooooo much!!

wow – by Sunday my poor belly looked like i was 4 months pregnant.  i wish it didn’t dislike carbs so much!!!!!

I have lots of pictures and videos…but none that i will share here..although i gotta say, the videos are so awesome that the whole world should witness them…especially me belting out adele –  rolling in the deep lol

i’ll save all that for the blog next door.

no gym for me tonight…no time – apparently the hotel i stayed at had an amazing gym -alas i did not see it!!!

this being an adult stuff is for the birds.  i just wanna play!!!!

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last nights dinner

i decided to try out a new recipe last night

I found a recipe on-line for Bruschetta Chicken Casserole.

it’s a little higher in carbs but it’s not so bad if you are careful with your portion size.

here was my dinner…and it was delish.  and yes…i am totally on a green bean kick lately

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the dog days of summer

this picture was taken a couple of months ago…but thought it was a great one to share since i do believe we will be hitting temperatures around 105 yet again today.

this is puppy’s first cone experience…on a beautiful pre-spring day.

i am living vicariously through her today 🙂

this song has been stuck in my head since last night.  go ahead..listen to it.  i double dog dare ya.

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oy vay

i had an amazing day.

i got a lot accomplished…but that included eating things that are soooo not on my menu.
you know how it goes.  you feel like you can conquer the world…and anything goes.
i had amazing company…and life felt amazing…so carbs suddenly became ok as a staple on the menu.

ughhh….

i am tortured tonight…and reminded why i do what i do and why i do it.

as awesome as it is to see the pounds melt off of me…and to see my body changing…

i was reminded why i eat the way i do.
i was reminded that it never had a thing to do with being “skinny”.

i am tortured tonight…because i decided today would be the day i would stray from my “diet”

tonight i was reminded that this is NOT a diet…but a way of life…the way that my life needs to be in order to live in accordance to my body and my heart….and my poor belly.

it’s not worth the pain…not worth the back and forth in my head.

sooo not worth this pain that leaves me aching in the fetal position.

sometimes…only sometimes…i wish carbs were not the enemy.

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a day off? really?

i started to stir in bed at around 5am – there is nothing more annoying than that
when you can sleep…and are not.

i don’t make lists on paper…unless it’s a long list for the grocery store
all my lists are in my head
and hence the reason i started to wake up at 5.  i started to think of all the things i wanted and needed to do today.
i forced myself to go back to sleep – but when the puppy vomited all over my bed – it was game over.

today is my day off…although i wouldn’t know it.
i was downstairs throwing laundry in before my eyes were even open
can i just say…it is illegal how much laundry i can accumulate in a week.  i think i have a problem.
never mind the extreme rage i seem to get when i do my laundry downstairs – opposed to leaving the premises to do it
people have zero laundry etiquette and i am forced to become one of those angry volatile women
oy.
i have successfully put my clothes in the washer without hurting anyone…the dryer could be a whole other story.

i took today off of work to get things done.
sad isn’t it?
a full day off will help me battle all those things that get left behind
after laundry, will be a much needed oil change.
then cleaning…
i am so domestic it hurts lol

i might just go surprise someone at lunch…cause i love surprising people 🙂
and if time allows i may even fit in a trip to the doggie park
maaaybe

i was out of control this weekend
completely
i ate things i haven’t in well over a year.
but i also went out and had an awesome time with awesome people…so it all balances out.

not sure if the gym is going to get on my list of things to do today…
but with all the running around and sweating in that damn laundry room – i think i will be ok.

my weekend of fun and food cheating was worth me being a domestic  goddess today.
no regrets

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dinner last night

was ahhh-maaazing!

i don’t know if that’s vain of me to say…considering i made it lol
But i cannot lie…it was good.

As promised…here is a picture:

i have no idea how those potatoes made it on my plate!!!!  honestly 🙂

not to worry…i put them on there for the picture…sorta.  2 made it to mah belly…darn potatoes – they are sneaky!!!

Anywhoooo….it was a great dinner!

yay!  Happy Friday everyone…and if it’s a long weekend for you…Happy Long Weekend!!!

I think i am going to get my party on this weekend…it’s been way too long!

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right my wrong

once i recovered from my carb coma yesterday
i was ready to think about what i should have for dinner.

carbs are sneaky little buggers.
they play with your head.

after the whole afternoon was spent in a fog
and feeling like i could use a nap…
my brain was trying to convince me to keep going.

the little voice inside my head was saying
“well you already blew it with lunch…you might as well make a day of it”

so i started to think about Kraft Dinner, or a grilled cheese sandwich
some stove top stuffing ( i could eat a box of that…i love it!)
then i started thinking about Chinese food…a buffet perhaps
but i haven’t had Indian food in forever so why not eat that…
ohhhh and then there’s Thai food.
etc
etc
etc

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i could have totally given in and gone on a binge
that’s why i have to be so careful when i actually do cheat…sometimes it sets off other cravings…some that are hard to resist.

Yesterday i resisted the temptation…and i righted my lunch wrong lol

Thursdays are my happy days and i wasn’t going to ruin it by making myself feel guilty over all the crap that i ate.

And so this is what i made:

doesn’t that look absolutely delish?  cause it was ( and notice how none of the food touches lol)

i picked up some fresh rainbow trout.  seasoned it with lemon and garlic…and then steamed some green beans and tossed them in a little bit of butter, lemon and garlic.
it was amazing…my belly did a happy dance!!

i have a weekend of me time…
i think i am going to spend it outdoors…and then cooking up storms.
life is doing a major 180 as of Monday…mamma needs to prepare!

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worth.every.bite

i decided to be a little crazy today.

you know…stray off plan…and it’s only Thursday.
Man i am rebellious!

lol

Anyways…this is what i ended up having for lunch:

A stir fry!

this is the stir fry i have raved about before…that i get at work.

The picture doesn’t do it any justice.  You have to see it/eat it to believe it 🙂

They only make this once every two weeks and sometimes just once a month.

They also do not make this over the summer…so this was the last day it was being served until October!!

So i decided i had to go for it.

i made a deal with myself.  i said, self…if you eat this…no cheating over the weekend.

So typically when i eat something not so good…i reserve it for the weekend…

it’s gonna be a clean weekend kids…but it was soooo very worth it.

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and it’s over

thank God!!

after 48 hours of non stop feasting…this girl is done.

who knew i could put back so much food in such little time? lol

after today’s dinner…i just could not move.  at all.

i took pictures of dinner…but i just can’t bring myself to post them…i wonder if i will ever eat again!!

I hope everyone ate as well as i did, and that you had a wonderful Easter.

as for dessert…i coulda chomped on these cheeks all day long.  i mean look at that face!!!!

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