Tag Archives: car

truth in dreams

wow did i ever have some dreams last night.
oddly enough i remember them too.

but this is the one i wanted to share here…


in my dream i was getting ready to go to the gym.
i got dressed and started walking.
all of a sudden i end up in my home town and i am wearing running gear…with a # on my chest – like i was getting ready to run a race.  oddly enough the number was 18.
there were people everywhere, and i mean thousands of people all around but it didn’t seem like anyone noticed me.
and so i started to run….and kept running.
oh and in my dream – i am in my 16 year old body…but am the age i am now.

i ran down familiar streets – significant streets actually.
places that meant something to me growing up
everyone was cheering me on…but no one was watching…

i remember i was running for 15 minutes.
i kept repeating to those around me that i ran for 15 minutes and i haven’t done that in 20 years!
and i felt good…and amazing…and proud!
i actually woke up because i was speaking out loud…saying i haven’t done that in 20 years!

and it’s true – i haven’t.

not sure if i ever talked about this over here..but when i was a kid, i loved running.
then….i got hit by a car…at the age of 16.  or was it 15?  oy, my memory is bad!!!
i never ran again.
i was on a bike when i got hit, but the car hit my left leg…and i was down…and he was gone –  after he took the time to yell at me for scratching his car.

i went for physiotherapy…but my legs were never the same again. (although he hit the left leg…i landed on the right one and injured that one too)
i also just naturally have two weak ankles…so that doesn’t help.

a couple of years later…i again was on my bike…and was hit.  this guy took off like a bat outta hell.
let me also clarify that both of these times…i had the right of way…i was obeying the rules of the road.
and also let me tell you that my boyfriend at the time got mad at me for getting hit by a car…and i had to go to the hospital all by myself.  imagine  lol.
(he wasn’t my boyfriend much longer)

anyways that time was even more serious…and i was on crutches for about a month – 2 fractures in my leg and my leg literally torn open from the car tire.

my bike was destroyed – obviously… and so my parents actually bought me a new one.  2 weeks later my bike was stolen.
i took it as a sign that i was just not meant to ride a bike.
and i haven’t since.
so it’s probably been 17 years that i have owned a bike.
i am too terrified to own a bike – but sometimes i wish i had one, just to ride the trails around my place…
there is the back story as to why i stopped running.

for a long while i have been thinking about running.  i get all the updates on facebook from the Couch to 5k….i follow it religiously.  and of course my fellow blogger friend M – it has been very inspiring to read and follow her running journey…
and so it makes sense that it’s been on my mind.

but where do i find the time????  i am already over booked in my life as is…i just don’t know what parts of my days i can let go of to make room for something new.

and i am scared.

even running across the street is scary for me.  i have landed on my face because my ankles just give out – or they lock right up.
and that’s just running a couple of steps.

i’d like to think that since i have been exercising…i have become stronger.  that what was once weak is now strong.
i can’t honestly remember the last time i fell over..but then again i can’t remember the last time i ran at all.

and it kinda bums me out…because lately it’s all that i can think about.
i remember how much i loved it and how sad i was when it was taken away from me.

maybe it’s a sign – this dream…to face my fears
to just do.
maybe it’s telling me just go – give it 15 minutes.
i mean i will never know unless i try…and if i fall down – well…it makes for a great blog yes?

thoughts anyone?

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randoms in the style of bee

yeah, it might be one of those blogs. lol
i am feeling random and chatty and all over the map today.

i went to the store yesterday after work…when all i really wanted to do was go home and eat.
i spent what felt like over an hour looking for cleaner for the carpet in my car
grrrrr…that damn trunk.
ok, ok.  it has nothing to do with my “health” so i will shut up about it.  although it is driving me insane so…it could be filed under “mental health”
anyways…i wrote alllll about it next door…if you’re interested…go look.  or go be amused with my most recent ramble about toilet etiquette.
i have totally gone off topic. shocker i know.

so i wanted to get home because of my most recent food autism.
i am on a Greek kick.  sounds funny coming from a Greek chick doesn’t it?
there is souvlaki that they sell at the metro that is already seasoned.  Usually i am not a fan of pre-seasoned meat.  i like to do that on my own…i mean who knows what spices ultimately are being put on there…but i gotta tell you….this souvlaki kicks some serious ass.
it’s almost as good as my daddios.  almost.
and so i want it all the time.

take a look!

notice how nothing is touching? lol

anyways that dinner totally rocks my socks…and i want it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
now i’m hungry. *pout*
oh, i feel the need to say that it’s pork souvlaki.  i am still off of poultry for the time being.

after dinner i went for my walk.  i wasn’t sure i was going to considering it was over 104 degrees out there…but i did anyways.
i am glad i did…because i felt really productive.
met alot of awesome kitty’s…and the one that reminds of me of mamma started following me back home
ohhhh love.
anyways…we walked 5.24 miles to be exact.  i would tell you what that is in kilometers but i am too lazy to google and convert.  sad but true.
my pedometer is somehow stuck on miles….
i know 5 miles is quite abit…my ass tells me so.

i didn’t have dessert last night…s’ok….don’t wanna make that a constant thing.  just for when i am really craving something delicious and sweet.

the rest of the night was mine.  a quick shower…threw my pj’s on and sat on my balcony with a glass of red…writing like a woman on fire.

i haven’t decided if i am working out tonight.  i think i will keep Wednesday’s free from commitment.  if i get home and wanna get my turbo jam on….then i will.

oh my god..which reminds me…i woke up around 2:30 am the other night…or should i say morning…
to an infomercial
they were advertising something called the Cardio Twister.  have you heard of it?????  I stayed up for half an hour watching it.
I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  actually i have read some mixed reviews on it…so i am not too sure.
anyways if you are curious…take a lookie – the video is rather corny but u will get the idea.  click here

have an awesome hump day kids!

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Houston, we have a problem

***WARNING – this post has a lot of graphic content.  if you have a weak stomach and a soft spot for animals (like me) this post is probably not for you…oh….and if you are eating lunch…shut this blog down!***
Ok, you’ve been warned!
I don’t even know where to begin with this blog today.  All i know is that 24hrs later  I am still grossed.right.out.
If you are an avid reader of this blog…you know that my eating lifestyle choice is low carb.  Not that low carb cannot be done vegetarian style, but most of the food I consume is meat.
So what’s the problem?? 
well i am kinda off meat.  not willingly…it just seems that my body does not want anything to do with meat.
well…it’s got a hell of a lot to do with my drive into work yesterday.
I was driving on the highway, minding my business….heading into the office….
when the guy in front of me accidentally hit an animal.
this happens all the time on our highways…and each time i see a dead animal on the side of the road it reallllllly affects me.
it’s just how i’m wired…just knowing how these poor things died really bothers me.
Coons seem to be the most common victims.
poor babies.
anyways back to my original point….
this guy in front of me hit this animal…of course it was not intentional…you are going at speeds of 100km’s or more…there’s just no control.
but what i didn’t expect to happen was to be on the receiving end of this animal….all over my car.
it was horrifying. actually it was beyond horrifying. 
my wipers couldn’t work fast enough…my brain was on hold…i don’t know how i didn’t run myself off the road.
it was absolutely horrifying what came flying on to my windshield.
i won’t even go into detail…cause i am sure no one wants to read about that.
i couldn’t even stand being in my car after i left work.  i kept getting body shudders…visualizing everything over and over and over again.
the car is washed.  the image in my head… not so much.
which poses a huge problem for me at the moment….
i can’t even look at meat…never mind eat it
i am hoping this is something i will over come…however in the meantime
i am saying no to the chicken….and hello to the cheese.

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