Tag Archives: beachbody

lesson learned

about a year ago i bought a pair of pants

nothing special. just my favourite brand of black jeans

they were my “goal” pants

i purposely bought them a couple sizes smaller than what i was

these pants were my motivation – my end goal

they hung in my closet patiently waiting for me to get in to them already

these pants barely made it past my thighs

they definitely didn’t get past my hips never mind actually buttoning up

this morning in my 5am just woke up haze – i went and grabbed a pair of pants for work – threw them on
and they felt a little snug

what?

no way my regular pants would feel so “form fitting”

and that is when i realized i grabbed the wrong pair

and there i was in my “goal” pants. buttoned and zippered up

they battled my thighs and won!!!

i was in awe

sure – they were tight. *ahem* perhaps painted on tight

but damn they fit!!!!!!!!

and so i went to work with a perma smile

i was in my goal pants!!!!!!!

but the more the day passed…the more uncomfortable i was

i felt like a piggy in a blanket

i felt bigger than i ever have in my whole life!!!!

i finally pulled out my white flag – and unbuttoned the pants – right there at my desk
and let my poor little sausage roll belly breathe

it’s not total defeat
i mean they got on. they were comfortable in the morning
where as i have never ever been able to get them past my hips

so that’s a fucking win

but

i learned a lesson today

just because something fits – doesn’t mean you should wear it

here’s to hoping that next year – i will have to give them away because they are just too big

in the mean time i will just hang out in my yoga pants

they never judge
and never ever make me feel like a sausage roll

cheers

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evil kitty

someone is keeping me accountable

miss Miyu says no pizza for you!!

ok so this box is from a few days ago – and she has somehow taken a liking to it – so i kept it for her

i just couldn’t pass on the photo op!!!

miyu

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body dysmorphia

i’m pretty sure i struggle with this.

i am sure alot of people do.

i decided to change my life (for the 10th millionth time) last August.
i was struggling with what i saw in the mirror every day.
although i was working out and eating relatively healthy…i just wasn’t consistent
i would fall off the wagon and jump back on
over and over and over.

finally something snapped inside of me
and i needed to change

it started with me buying a program from beachbody that terrified me
and committing myself to finish it.
i am no stranger to their programs – but this one was tough
and i was going to do it.
21 day fix – 3 weeks to a better you. it comes with a meal plan and portion control containers
this was my first time swaying from my low carb lifestyle and doing exercises that beyond challenged me
i still to this day will swear at Autumn (the instructor) as i’m pushing myself

i am happy to say i DID complete it. more than once.
I am currently on my 7th round. SEVENTH!
i did a couple of other programs in between
but apparently this is my go to.

this is where the mind plays tricks on you.

i have been consistent for 11 months
i work out 6 days a week.
my diet is 80-90% clean (i have the occasional cheat meal – i AM human)
i needed 3 weeks off for an injury i sustained from working out
and then i took a month off from coming down with the most horrible flu of my life
but other than that – i’ve been on track.

i never weigh myself
but i did measure
as of January 7th i lost a total of 22.75 inches off my whole body!
and i haven’t measured since
my clothes are fitting much looser – and some things from last year are just too big to wear
depending on where i shop – i am down 1-2 sizes
and according to Victoria’s Secret, i am down two cup sizes (to some people’s disappointment lol)
i take pictures to see progress…

and i see it. but i definitely don’t register it.

i see the me i was last august – if not bigger

and even though it makes absolutely zero sense
that is exactly how i feel

i feel like i have made no progress
no matter how my clothes fit – or what pictures tell me

it makes me want to give up
makes me want to quit

but what will that do for me?

just make me even more miserable than i already am

i feel good. i feel healthier. i have alot more energy
i love the way i eat…and even though alot of times i dread working out
i never regret a work out

i ordered a dress on line a few weeks ago
i never buy clothes on line
anyway it came the other day. i just looked at it and thought no freaking way am i getting my body in to this
i threw it aside and never even bothered
i called it the barbie doll dress – because i am sure it wasn’t designed to fit a human body

last night i tried it on
honestly – just to see how funny i would look in it
get a few laughs

it fit – it fit nicely
and my jaw dropped

form fitting – tiny – sexy even

and it fit

not sure why i’m shocked – since i work my ass off every single day

but this is where i am at
feeling uncomfortable in my skin – even though the results are there

next week i have to go bikini shopping

i’m going to need someone to talk me off the ledge
and keep me away from all the comfort food i’m going to want to devour

it’s a struggle
but i’m trying

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