perception

the past few months have really been huge

there has been a shift in me
in my energy

in my perception

life isn’t easy…let’s not pretend

life can be hard – stressful
it can shake you down

or it can build you up

i got tired of the negative voice in my head

no i’m not a negative person by default
but i am human – and i let things get to me

add to that how very analytical my brain is – and doesn’t shut off

well it can be a mess in there

then i started to think

about losses

things in my life that i felt i lost
or let go of
because i wasn’t good enough to have them etc

i wasn’t worthy

everything i have lost is my doing

blah blah blah

all these self defeating thoughts
going round and round like a loop in my head

making me feel really unlovable
i couldn’t even like myself

all these damn things

these things that were weighing me down
were not actually things
but me

no one or nothing can have that kind of power over you
unless you allow them to

it really is that simple
and that hard
all in the same breath

the things i have “lost”
i never lost
they weren’t mine to begin with

things that made me feel bad
bad about me, bad about life, bad about everything

those things never belonged to me either

i’m pretty fucking awesome kids

i have a good life – borderline great
i have amazing family and friends
people who would do anything for me

i have love – lots of it
and i feel it every single day of my life
even on those days that the world seems a little dark

losses are not mine to own
feelings of not being enough don’t belong here in this house i keep either

i keep my circle small
because i am aware of what and who i deserve

i know my worth

the rest is just noise
the rest is baggage
the rest is unworthy of a moment of your precious time

and once it clicked

i mean really clicked

shit started changing

my mood

my energy

my laughter

i felt lighter
literally and figuratively

​it seemed like as soon as my mind and my body connected this
the weight started coming off overnight!​

stress is a heavy load to carry
and i carried the weight of the world on my shoulders

once i actually realized my worth

what i give to the universe

to those closest to me

the endless supply of my love and affection of those deserving

it seemed my life changed in the blink of an eye

i can’t explain it any more or any less

it just is what it is

change your perception

and see what changes in you

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