that’s where things are at these days.
i haven’t written lately, because there hasn’t been much to write about…in terms of low carb and working out that is.
i have been off track. maybe off track isn’t the right term…i’ve completely derailed in my journey to a smaller bee.
with Christmas, and then being sick, to other things, time has flown by and i cannot believe i am in to March and still trying to find my groove.
i have not been low carbing. i have also not been high carbing.
lately it’s been simple. i eat what i crave, what i feel will nourish my soul – and not so much my body.
you would be surprised at the things i crave – and i mean insanely crave.
i crave fruit, orange juice, whole grain bread.
and then more fruit..
and again more fruit.
i crave salads and veggies and then some more fruit
and chicken salad wraps – whole wheat.
i crave soups in a big way too.
no it’s not always that healthy. i won’t tell you about the pizza i ate at 10 pm the other night
or what about all the Ben and Jerry’s I ate when i was sick.
i also won’t tell you how natural and good it feels.
it’s not like i’ve completely strayed, but i have definitely allowed foods back into my life that i put on the deny list years ago.
i’ve come to a few realizations.
since upping my carbs – my headaches have decreased tremendously.
i am barely getting them anymore.
that in itself is a god send to me.
i’ve also realized that the foods i crave, still affect my body in a negative way
and sometimes i wonder if it’s worth it.
but it does pass…and before long i am feeling ok again.
and i have realized that this is just how my body is wired…and always will be.
i’ve also realized that since December, i haven’t gained much weight if any at all…
my clothes all fit – and i am still battling the same bulge i was in December.
i haven’t been to the gym in a month – and although there has been a little bit of self anger, i am really not feeling as bad as i thought i would.
the gym is not off the table. i plan on getting back to the swing of things this week.
i figure if i work out 3-4 times a week – maintain myself as i am (well i still want to lose the holiday pounds) i will be just fine.
i realized a few extra pounds on my body does not make me unworthy or less beautiful.
i realized i put too much stress on myself by feeling like i was always disappointing myself – and others.
but the biggest thing i have realized. sometimes the soul needs more nourishment than the body
that if your soul is broken, your body is too.
right now i am concentrating on my soul.
feeding it and nourishing that part of myself.
my soul needs more care than my body right now…
and so the plan is – there is no plan.
the plan is simple.
the plan is to take care of me – whatever that may entail.
where this leads in terms of “diet” – i have no idea. but for now, i am ok with that.