Daily Archives: October 26, 2011

sometimes never really does mean never

my puppy is going through another growth spurt against my will.
sigh.
so with the growth spurt comes the extra visits out doors.  she is eating and drinking like a maniac – and so there have been many mad dashes to avoid messes.

so the other night – my poor baby really had to go.
i mean i had to run behind her to get her out asap.

there is about 10 feet from the pavement to the grass.  we ran down the stairs and ran across the pavement.
and that’s when it happened.

my ankle completely locked up for two consecutive steps.
it was painful and i had to stop and breathe, otherwise i am sure i would have screamed.  i don’t think my neighbours would have appreciated that after midnight.
i proceeded to limp through the walk – and woke up the same way.
today i am ok.

my point?  i always have one.

my dream to run again is just not going to happen.
and that’s ok.
it has to be ok.

to be honest i am surprised i haven’t seriously injured myself just walking.
i walk fast.  years of trying to keep up with other people with my really short legs 🙂
i don’t know how many times in a day…my ankle either locks or completely gives out.
i am telling you – i am the vision of grace.  i don’t think i have ever met anyone more clumsy on their feet than me.
if you know me in real life – you know i’m not lying!

For thanksgiving – i was wearing brand new flip flops.  my ankle completely gave out and i turned over on it with such force – i ruined my flip flops.
i loved those flip flops.

i gave up on running when i got hit by the car(s)
eventually i became ok with it.  i found other things to do to make me feel good and occupy my time.
i guess i recently got excited about the possibility of starting up again, since i’ve been making really great strides in my physical health ya know?
it just kinda bums me out.  it’s like when you tell me i can’t do something…i go outta my way to prove you are wrong.

i can’t do it this time.  all it will prove is that i am an idiot and i will probably end up being one with the sidewalk.
who wants that?

i am glad i got the nerve up to get a bike and ride it.  i am glad that i actually enjoy going to the gym.
so it’s ok.
the control freak in me will get over this eventually.
but it still does suck a bit.

the lesson i learned today?  that sometimes never, really does mean never.

c’est la vie

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