insomnia can kiss my butt

i’ve been keeping the night company lately.
me and the night – sounds romantic ehh?

insomnia sucks ass.

i’ve struggled with insomnia my whole life…you would think i would get used to it…
but i don’t.
i go through my stages.  i can sleep like a baby…for days on end, sleep peacefully and deeply…
but these past few weeks are putting me on edge…especially these past few days.

i am averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, which isn’t too bad.  but it’s broken sleep.  last night alone i was up 4 separate times.
i’ve tried to make myself stay in bed..not get up and do things…but the longer i toss and turn, the more frustrated i get.
i don’t get up and turn the computer on..that would just wake me right up.  Sometimes i will turn the tv on and the background noise will lull me back to sleep…or sometimes my eyes fight to keep watching.
and the more i try to fall asleep – the more awake i become!!!!
it seems the deepest, most peaceful sleep i get is right before my alarm clock goes off.  go figure.

this makes for a very unhappy, emotional bee.

it’s hard to get through a day and feel productive.  i could drink a gallon of coffee and still not wake up.
no amount of Preparation H could take away the luggage under my eyes. (not that i’ve tried lol)
i drag my butt around the whole day..counting the minutes until i can actually sit down and have some me time
that doesn’t come until at least 9.

i go to the gym – even if i feel i can’t move…and that makes me feel better – and half alive
but then it’s all the stuff at home that needs to be done and a puppy that needs to be entertained…
i swear last night i almost cried i was so exhausted.

then the time comes where i can go to bed and crash…and i lie there in the night…my mind going at a mad speed
and my eyes wide open.
my body is exhausted and yet the rest of me thinks it’s party time.

i am not one for pills – so i really don’t want to take any.  besides when i had taken them in the past, i would wake up in the morning feeling foggy and worse than i do on no sleep.
i don’t drink milk – i heard that helps…
counting sheep only drives me mental…because if i start drifting off…something snaps me wide awake and i gotta keep counting
like counting is more important than sleeping.
damn sheep!

so other than drinking a whole bottle of wine, i really don’t know what to do.

anyone have some insomnia remedies that i possibly haven’t heard of?  can anyone out there help me?

if you are dragging your butt today…this song will sure get you moving…

clickety click here  (i should warn you that there is a little swearing, but it’s Sara Bareilles…how can you not watch!)

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4 thoughts on “insomnia can kiss my butt

  1. Struggling Dad

    Apparently there’s some very recent research related to the amount of “blue” in lights before you go to sleep. With computer screens, LCD TVs, and low-energy bulbs, there’s not as much “yellow” as there always used to be. The research isn’t conclusive and more will follow.

    But, as an experiment, avoid your PC and HDTV before you sleep. Try reading by an ordinary incandescent ligh/lamp. If it doesn’t make a difference after a day or two, that wasn’t your problem…


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