Monthly Archives: August 2011

just wrong, on so many levels

last night as i was driving home…
i saw a young woman walking with a baby in a stroller and a very young toddler holding her hand.

she seemed to be trying to do “something” all the while holding on to the little kid’s hand and the stroller…

and then i saw what causing her so much grief.

she was trying to light a cigarette!!!  talk about great multi tasking!!!

this irks me.  on many levels.
i do not think that people should smoke in front of children.  sure, you have an addiction, but these kids don’t need to suffer from it.
they don’t need to inhale it, see it.
these children didn’t ask for it.

man it burns my ass.

so then…as she starts walking ahead…and gets closer to my car…i see that not only is she smoking and handling two children under 2 years of age.
she is extremely pregnant.
i mean ready to pop pregnant.


it’s not like we don’t know any better.  it’s not like this is the 70’s and people didn’t really get how “bad” smoking is.
i don’t care what anyone decides to do to themselves…but there is an unborn baby in that belly.

i get that smoking is an addiction. believe me…i know.
but doesn’t the fact that you are growing a little human being in that belly give you enough strength to quit?
in her case i guess not.

i dunno – that visual is stuck in my head and makes me really really sad.

if you are going to have a baby…don’t freakin’ smoke.

bah, i feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

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say what you mean

i wonder what people really mean when they say something.

for example…one time many many moons ago, i ran into an old friend who i hadn’t seen in years.
when she saw me she said – “you look…healthy!!”
i was mortified.
healthy?  really???
i thought to myself…why not just tell me i have gained weight?  i think it would have shocked me less.  just come straight out and tell me i am fat.  i mean i own a mirror – i can take it.

i have done that before – i have told a girl that she looked “healthy” but i was being a bitch.
i didn’t like her, she was very vain…and thought her sh*t didn’t stink.
haha – i would pay money to see that look on her face again 🙂

ahem – i am not that girl anymore.  i would never intentionally be spiteful to someone
(unless of course they absolutely deserved it lol)

sooo…there’s this guy i know.  we run into eachother about once a month.
everytime he sees me he always offers up a “looking good bee”
we talk about the gym, his biking and routine etc (he’s a pretty active guy) and then we go on our merry ways.

today i ran in to him.  no looking good bee…
but instead i got “so are you still going to the gym?”

did he mean something by that, or are my own insecurities coming out from a presumably innocent comment?
i know i’ve been feeling defeated lately – a little sensitive.  being on vacation for a week sure didn’t help.
i am not too sure how to take it…
but it’s weighing on my mind.  i am already way too analytical for my own good…as most of you know.

but i promise i won’t sit in the corner and cry over this

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how rude

apparently my blogs aren’t posting properly.

this makes for a very unhappy bee.

please just ignore this post – i am just trying to make everything right in my world…

every now and then the wordpress gods really know how to piss me off 🙂

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hot damn!

who knew these wouldn’t be popular??
no one wanted to indulge in my treat!!!

all i know is that this is the best cheat food to get if you are not the sharing kind!!
although when the other “junk” ran out…some people were quick to reach for these.
no way – sorry – if they weren’t good for you before…i ain’t sharing!

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so i saved the worst part of my shopping for my trip for today

the dreaded bikini shopping.

oy vay.

i went alone.  really, i don’t need to have a nervous breakdown around anyone do i??

it was horrible.  horrible is probably an understatement.

and i came up with this:

if i up my working out from 3 days a week to 7

my one hour to 3 hours a day

never ever even think of eating a bite of anything off plan

i may just be ready for next years big bikini outting

it’s defeat that i feel.
complete and utter defeat.

like what have i worked so damn hard for…for almost a year and a half????
i am not saying i haven’t been successful…because i know that i have

but i am no where near where my head thought i would be
and it kinda hurts
and it kinda just makes me think why bother.

kind of makes me just want to throw in the towel.

i won’t  – but this bikini business does not put me in a good mind set let me tell ya

what i saw going on in the mirror – no one needs to see…so no worries – pictures will not follow!

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a night on the town

is just what the doctor ordered!!

babe scored some tickets to a concert for last night.

we went to go see Kenny Chesney.  why not!  i mean i am not a country fan, but floor seats, down town Toronto and babe sounds like a fun night.

and it was.  there are youtube videos and pictures to document the insanity – and no – i will not post the videos. lol

we went to a swanky, over the top restaurant before the concert.
what to eat, what to eat???
a burger cost 20 bucks!!!  how could i order a 20 dollar burger and feel ok about throwing away the bun??

so this is what i ordered…

it’s some sort of chicken with “the chefs secret sauce” …there was definitely soy sauce and hot sauce in there…i gotta tell you it was delicious.
mmm mmm good.

see how much i am enjoying it? lol

here were some other options on the menu.

waaaay over priced, but you know what?  i would go back again.
i mean they had heated toilet seats!!!  heated toilet seats people!!!!
i never ever sit on a public toilet – but how could you not try it out?

and these were your options:

kinda makes a 20 dollar burger acceptable lol

as if the washroom wasn’t sweet enough…there is a wall of wine on your way in and out.  um hi, this would be my heaven.

once we were done and asked for the bill – this is what we got:

at least they have a sense of humour! clever clever

i would do it all again in a heart beat.  what an awesome night!

i leave you with a picture of the well known CN Tower…so pretty at night!

and one of the CN tower from babe’s sunroof!

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that’s how i’m feeling.

alot’s gone down these past few days and i am just left feeling a little raw and perhaps needy?
no, needy is not the word
sensitive. definitely sensitive.

i am analyzing every little thing said to me…and taking offense to things i shouldn’t be i am sure.
i am ultra sensitive…and i dislike feeling this way.

i wasn’t going to post here – but it’s got pretty much everything to do with my health…so it seems appropriate.

i’ve made some changes to my personal life lately.
well, i was forced into making these changes, and ultimately it is the best thing for me.
and i am ok with the changes ahead of me.

after all, life is about change.

but i still feel sensitive…

getting up to go to the gym today was a struggle.  it seems it has been lately yes?
perhaps my body knew all along what my mind was not ready to register.
who knows

i want to revert back to old behaviours…because they are old and comfortable
like a childhood blankie…or a hug from my mom.

i want to run to the corner store and grab a bag of dill pickle chips and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s

at least i have enough mind power to understand that although these are comforting foods for the moment
they are anything but comforting afterwards.

i am grateful for my willpower these days.

inhale and exhale.

everything’s gonna be alright.

everything’s gonna be better in 2 days when i am officially on vacay.
there, that totally put a smile on my face.

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food for thought

so i’ve noticed a pattern in me.

it is one i am debating cutting out actually…but not sure if i want to!!

these past few weeks – i have been allowing myself to eat whatever i want on the weekends.
i figure that i am working out…and have been eating clean for so long
that i can afford the luxury.

i find that it does take away any desire to “cheat” during the week
and i eat on plan for the week.

i haven’t seen any weight creep on…but i certainly haven’t seen any creep off.
although i am not in this for the weight loss per say…let’s face it…i could still lose another 5-10 pounds.
i am not achieving that by eating high carb foods on the weekend i am sure

never mind what it is doing to me inside.  i am sure i am confusing my body…it doesn’t know what’s going on.

my vacation is just around the corner…and i do not want to commit myself to a strict diet…
i will be on vacation and want to play and indulge a bit i am sure.
not that i am using that as an excuse to stray off plan – i just want to give myself some leniency.

i will be wearing a bathing suit – you would think that would be enough to throw me back in check…but alas it does not. lol

i am going to revisit this after my vacation.  maybe i need to do my low carb hard core again.

just rambling out loud – cause it’s what i do! lol

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moves like jagger

those of you that know me in real life…or read my blog know that i have exceptional chair dancing skills.
i rock that chair like no one’s business.

i mean…if there was an award for best chair dancer…hello…i would win it hands down

sometimes i get lost in my own head.  i know…shocking.
the other day..with my ear buds in…listening to my latest chair rockin’ song – i got lost in my awesome dance moves.
i turned around in my chair and noticed i had an audience.  they were quite impressed. lol
i love my work peeps.

but what’s even better than chair dancing????
car dancing.
that’s right.

i love singing and dancing in my car.  of course i have to be in the mood to rock it out…but usually all it takes is for one of my favourite songs to come on radio…and i am done.

volume goes up…ass starts to wiggle…my steering wheel becomes the drums…and this old lady just rocks it right out!

and yes…people stare.  that’s half the fun!!!
i mean obviously i am doing it because i love the music…but it’s great to have other people in cars look over at me and smile.

i’ve had people smile, wave, blow me kisses. i’ve even had a marriage proposal.
oh the power of dance!!

yesterday as i was rockin’ it out i had to laugh at myself.  i can only imagine how comical it all looks.
and that indeed is the best part.

i need to invest in some sort of camera in my car…these moves are just too good not to share with the world.

this is my latest bust a move song. i don’t know why i love it…as i am not a huge fan of this dood….but i do.

take a listen and i dare you not to move either.  just a slight warning…there is some boobage in the video – just thought i’d warn you in case you are anti boobie.

this song will be playing in the car on my way downtown tonight…good music and dinner with friends – the weekend is starting on the right foot!

Have a great weekend!

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