i did not rapture

not even a little bit.

i took all the things my ma ever told me…and made sure to do ’em

you know, always look your best…always wear clean underwear (who doesn’t do that?)

i gave myself a pretty pedicure last night.  purple.  although i am not sure why i cheaped out and didn’t pay someone to do it for me
i mean i can’t take it with me when i go right?
i heard somewhere God likes purple…so i thought that would be my perfect in.
i applied my makeup oh so perfectly…
spent all my savings placing billboards all around the city announcing the end of the world…
slept in my sunday best – like they did on the titanic.
and nothing.
i chose a burrito from Burrito Boyz as my last meal.
it was amazingly sinful
i had no guilt.  not at all.
did i really want my last supper to be low carb???
i mean the whole world was gonna be shot in a couple of hours…right?

i am still here.

and now that i have not raptured…i am forced to go to the gym today – on my day off
and burn off the guilt that is my burrito

oh and i really didn’t do any of the above…
other than a really perdy pedi…
for my hot rockin’ time out tonight
(but it’s too damn cold to show ’em off – just my luck)

bahhhh humbug.

i’m glad everyone survived the end of the world…
then again…i haven’t heard from anyone in a while.
off to go make some phone calls!

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8 thoughts on “i did not rapture

  1. jmjbookblog

    I wonder what happened to all that minister’s congregation when nothing happened? If he reads the same Bible we all do then why didn’t he know that even Jesus said he doesn’t know when the world will end…only God does…and yet this person thought he could predict it right down to the exact minute. Simply mind-bloggling. lol Glad we’re all still here! 🙂 Hope the weather warms up so you can show off your purple pedicure! 🙂 Hugs***

  2. Maxine's Daughter

    i was shopping all morning on “stock ups”…and went to bed early so I could get up and watch a SitCom Marathon all night after midnight. Actually, I am disappointed that the nut cases were NOT raptured to leave the rest of us sinners some breathing room. lol Again, I am tired of other people telling me how to live my own little life…


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