i don’t know why i did it this morning.
but i did.
maybe ’cause i woke up in a good mood, from having a good night.  maybe it was all that great inspiration i felt last night.
who knows.
maybe i thought i could handle anything thrown my way…’cause i am wonder woman don’t you know.
all i know is i haven’t done it since January….
and back then it made me feel great…made me feel awesomely amazing.

today not so much.
today it made me feel a little defeated…a little sad
a little pissed right off.

i went on the scale today.
duun dun duuunnnnnn (that’s scary music in case you were wondering)
yep i weighed myself.

I am three pounds heavier than i was in January.
three pounds.

if you feel the need to laugh at me like my lovely friend did… please don’t!
that’s 3 more pounds i have to contend with.

wasn’t it just the other day i mentioned that weight loss was no longer a focus of mine?
pffft
it is now.

i was warned at the gym…well not warned…but i was told that once i started working out with weights i would gain weight…but it would be muscle.
i get that.  i get that it’s a possibility.
i specifically recall my personal trainer asking me if i would be ok seeing the scale move UP because i would be gaining muscle…and i was like “oh yeah, no problem…s’all good”
apparently i am a liar cause this has obviously freaked.me.out.

could it be weight gain because i have been more lenient with the things i eat
ya know…my yogurt…that sinful, tasty sweet and salty popcorn?
is it possible that it’s the forbidden FAT?

i mean honestly…how would you know?  how could you know if it was muscle or fat?

i don’t feel any different. my clothes are not fitting tighter…on most days i feel ok with where i am…unless my hormones are at play.

i told you.  nothing good ever came out of the scale.  i would have been better off living in my own bubble.  my own little world…where scales never existed.

i don’t know why the hell i did that!

this is how i am going to weigh myself from now on!