circle of memories

i am an extremely sentimental person.
i call myself a memory hoarder.  if something means anything to me…i keep it.
whether it was given by someone i still love, or someone i don’t…if it brings me a sweet memory…i keep it.
i have a box in my storage room of notes passed between me and friends in high school!
some notes even from grade 7 and 8.
(you know the days before cell phones and text messages)

enter the ring.

my 2nd favourite ring of all time.

it looks like this:

this was a gift i gave myself.

i’ve been almost losing my ring for a good 2 months now
when i go to grab a water from it’s case it falls off…or in the shower…
i have found it under my pillow in the morning…in a complete panic when i realize that it’s no longer on my finger.
doing my hair in the morning
etc etc etc

For over 20 years this ring has pretty much occupied my finger
it would rarely ever be taken off
through the years it fit differently..but it always fit
sometimes i would struggle to just get it past the knuckle and sometimes it would fit perfectly like Cinderella’s slipper
it barely fits at all.

i have to retire my ring.
sure i could put it on another finger…but it would feel misplaced, unusual…wrong.

and so this is how my mind works.
my memory is not that great, but it’s amazing the things i recall as if they happened yesterday.
this is what my ring reminds me of.

it was 1990.  i think.
yeah it had to be 1990.
it was the first time my parents ever allowed me to leave the small city to head to the big city with my bff’s and no parental supervision
i am pretty sure a friends’ dad drove us down, and i lied to my parents saying we had a ride back when in reality we took the train home.
we went to Toronto to go see Sinead O’Connor in concert.  this is when she was underground, semi normal and really angry
like me
my favourite song was Troy.
i was wearing jean shorts at least 4 sizes too big (i think these were actually made by a pair of my dad’s old jeans), a white long sleeved shirt…my uber cool swatch watch… and black converse shoes
to the young-uns reading this…yes, converse shoes were cool 20 years ago….and if i remember correctly, they cost me no more than 18 dollars
imagine my coronary when i recently spent over 60 bucks on a pair.
i had spent 6 hours getting my hair done in braids and then beaded…not for that specific occassion since i had that look at least 3 times.  i think i just did it to piss my dad off 🙂
we went to the coolest/biggest mall in Toronto and hung out like we belonged…like we were cool
i gave a homeless man all my change, and then he tried to steal my pack of smokes.
we went in to a jewellery store and that is where i saw the ring
it was 15 dollars then…still a hefty price for a little girl like me.
my friends all thought it looked great, and thought that i should get it.  and so i did
it felt like such a grown up moment
i was in the big city, i bought my first real piece of jewellery…i was having the time of my life
which is a rare thing for me to say about my teenage years
i thought i would die seeing my bald idol perform.  i wrote down every song she sang on my leg.  i have a picture but i can’t seem to find it…which is a little upsetting.
after the concert we went to Union station and waited for our train…
on a total adrenalin rush.
playing with my ring between my fingers (which i still do to this day)
talking and laughing sitting on the ground…when i turn around
and a man with a trench coat on whips out his pecker.
true story
i pulled at my friends shirt and he showed her his pecker too.  lol…he showed all of us his pecker.
i was mortified!!!!!!!!!! i think my face turned a million shades of red.
is this what the big city was about????
that was a time men could do that…and no one would ever consider calling the police over it.
he was referred to as the pecker man for many years to come.

we were probably exactly like the girls that drive me mental today
squeaky, energetic, giggly

i promised i would never forget what it was like to be that young
but i really think i did
this ring…brings back all those amazingly awesome feelings of that day…of my youth

so i may retire the ring…
but i will never, ever give it away.
maybe when my lil’ bee is old enough…she can wear it…and the ring can make new memories.

here i am with my girls on that very day.  one girl is missing cause she is taking the picture.

it almost scares me to remember that in one of those bags is a white blouse with black polka dots i bought from le chateau.  my mom ruined it with bleach and i cried. lol

a part of me wants to go to this mall…since now i am the big city girl…and see if i can find that exact spot…and take a picture now, 20 years later.
thanks for taking a road trip in my mind.  it was fun
suddenly i have the desire to pull out my sinead cd!

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11 thoughts on “circle of memories

  1. MoMo Mia

    I think passing your ring on to your lil bee and having her create her own memories with it is an amazing idea and then maybe when she has little bee’s she can do the same. I love your blog by the way!!!! Patiently waiting for the next.

    1. losing bee Post author

      Hi MoMo…thanks for coming by!! yes i am hoping that maybe i can start a tradition with my little ring. i guess it will depend on lil’ bee’s personality as she gets older. she may not be the sentimental fool that i am lol
      thank you for the compliment. i clicked on the link for your blog, but it wasn’t there 😦

    2. MoMoMia

      sorry about that bee I’m still learning to navigate through wordpress. i think i fixed the problem but just in case i’m at stop by if you have a chance. TGIF

  2. jmjbookblog

    Such a sweet memory, bee! 🙂 Yes, you should definitely go back and take a picture at the exact same spot! That would be awesome! 🙂 Have a special day and thanks for sharing that moment. 🙂

    1. losing bee Post author

      thanks jm…the more i think about it, the more i really want to go to the mall and see if i can find that spot!
      it’s been 20 years…what are the chances i can find it!?

  3. jmjbookblog

    I tried clicking the “LIKE” button but it wouldn’t work for me! 😦 It just kept going back to this same page…I tried 3X…typed in my info and everything. 😦 I just wanted you to know that I really liked your post. 🙂

  4. Susan

    Bee, that was beautiful. I was right there with you. You write beautifully, evocatively. Thanks for taking us with you on that important day. And yes, men showing their peckers is what the big city is about…sometimes, anyway.

    You could wear the ring on a chain around your neck until Lil Bee is ready. XO

    1. losing bee Post author

      thanks Susan 🙂 that means alot to me. yeah the big city is full of pecker waving men lol
      i have a necklace that i wear that means alot to me too…i don’t know if i can replace it.
      i guess i will just need to tuck it away for a while (although i am still wearing it!)

  5. ElizabethFrank123

    I am the same as you Bee, a hoarder of memories! But I think that’s the best way to be 🙂 and I totally think that you should go back to the mall and take a new picture! 😀

    1. losing bee Post author

      i can’t relate to people who throw everything away! i love keeping things that make me feel good 🙂 i think i am totally going to go to the mall and find that spot – i just wish i could get the same girls to go with me!


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