Monthly Archives: May 2011

insatiable

i think i have mentioned it here before…
it’s hard to keep track where i say what sometimes…so excuse me if i repeat myself.

i have been so hungry lately.
not your average, i feel like a snack kind of hungry.
i mean stomach growling, feeling faint kind of hungry.
it’s been like this for the past month or so.

i don’t know why my appetite has taken such a drastic turn.
i was at my parents place the other day…and they always make sure they feed me well.
they even purposely make a lot of food so i can take leftovers home.
they feed me so much, often times i think i will blow.
seriously.
i got back from their place and what happened? my stomach was growling, to the point i am sure that my neighbours could hear it.
what is up with me???

so enter this morning.
my stomach was growling before i even got outta bed.
i have never in my life been this insatiable!

i usually keep a stash of goodies in my drawer at work…like peanuts, or something small i can snack on to make it through to lunch.

i opened my drawer this morning…and nadda.  not a nut to be found (other than me of course)
there’s gum but i’m pretty sure that doesn’t count.
there is nothing in that drawer i can eat…
there is a kaleidoscope and origami paper…but c’mon…i ain’t that hungry!

2 more hours until i can feed the monsters in my belly
until then, water it is.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

Advertisements

oy vay

i had an amazing day.

i got a lot accomplished…but that included eating things that are soooo not on my menu.
you know how it goes.  you feel like you can conquer the world…and anything goes.
i had amazing company…and life felt amazing…so carbs suddenly became ok as a staple on the menu.

ughhh….

i am tortured tonight…and reminded why i do what i do and why i do it.

as awesome as it is to see the pounds melt off of me…and to see my body changing…

i was reminded why i eat the way i do.
i was reminded that it never had a thing to do with being “skinny”.

i am tortured tonight…because i decided today would be the day i would stray from my “diet”

tonight i was reminded that this is NOT a diet…but a way of life…the way that my life needs to be in order to live in accordance to my body and my heart….and my poor belly.

it’s not worth the pain…not worth the back and forth in my head.

sooo not worth this pain that leaves me aching in the fetal position.

sometimes…only sometimes…i wish carbs were not the enemy.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

hello world

just when i thought i couldn’t possibly find any more love in me to give…

just when i thought my heart was full enough

just when i thought my life was full of all the richness and sweetness it could possibly handle

just when i thought, YES!!!!! my life is perfect as is…

full of smiles, joy, happiness,

the universe had to prove me wrong.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

facebook

facebook has decided to stop posting my blogs

i am insulted…and on a mission to figure out why….

i will not be ignored facebook!!!

bare with me…i am just testing things out.

wordpress counter

universe and u

did anyone else watch the season finale of Dancing with the Stars last night?

this is the first season i have actually watched this show.  i absolutely loved it!!!  (other than the lame singing)

i was/am a Kirstie Alley fan – big time.  i love that woman…she just seems so real.  and my god the woman did a cart wheel.  that just commands respect!!  i would totally hang out with her.
seriously…it was amazing how much she accomplished…i would watch her and think to myself there is no way i could ever do that.
she didn’t win…ya know…the trophy…but i think she came out a total winner.

i was in awe watching these people dance.  i am jealous of anyone that can dance, that has rhythm…
put me on a dance floor and i would so rock you with my 1990’s moves lol

these people were fluid…the way that they moved…it was as if their bodies were born to move that way.  completely beautiful.
and their bodies????  rock hard gorgeousness!!!!

i have always wanted to take dancing lessons.  always.  this has put the fire under my butt once again.
if time allowed…i would seriously consider looking in to classes.  Did you know that they practiced  5 hours a day for the show??????
a couple of friends and i discussed taking hip hop classes a while back…but that never did pan out.
(let me just say these were my thoughts last night)

so…believe it or not…the next part of this is completely related.

i was in a deep sleep a few nights ago.  for some reason i passed out watching something on the country channel…i can’t remember what i fell asleep to…but i am guessing Everybody loves Raymond…or Criminal Minds – although i don’t think Criminal Minds would be on the country station.
annnyyywaaaaays.
my point being…i am not an avid watcher of the country channel.

well something that night woke me from a dead sleep.  it was a song.  a country song.
i sat up in bed and tried to focus.  there was something about that song…
i stayed up long enough to catch the artists name and fell back asleep.  i woke up in the morning and completely forgot. (this is why i need to start writing things down again!)

it bothered me for days.  who was the artist????  why couldn’t i remember?

as i was sitting there watching DWTS last night – i was turned away from the tv, multi tasking but of course…
and suddenly…there was that voice…it was her!  i was given a second chance 🙂
thank you universe!!!!

i woke up this morning with a touch of dancing envy from the night before.  wishing and hoping i could shake my hips all sexy like.
I checked my email this morning – and do you know what was waiting for me in my inbox?
of course you don’t – what am i saying…
anyways….
i received an email from a local dance school – offering me 86% off 10 dancing lessons.
no joke.
coincidence?
i think not.

the universe is in love with me.  i get small glimpses of just how much every single day.
if you pay attention…if you throw out in to the universe, the universe throws back 10 fold.

and if that weren’t possibly enough…the first status i saw on my facebook this morning was:

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion. ~Martha Graham

true story.
i couldn’t make this up if i tried.

it used to surprise me when i felt like my questions were answered…from something bigger out there…
that things i silently asked for with a pure heart…and strong will…had the potential to become a reality.
that the universe offered me all the tools i needed…to reach my goals…my desires…my dreams.

if you listen…you will hear her too.

the universe is in love with me…
and i am in love with her.

Now…click here if you want to hear the song that haunted me for days!!!

wordpress counter



Site Meter

a day off? really?

i started to stir in bed at around 5am – there is nothing more annoying than that
when you can sleep…and are not.

i don’t make lists on paper…unless it’s a long list for the grocery store
all my lists are in my head
and hence the reason i started to wake up at 5.  i started to think of all the things i wanted and needed to do today.
i forced myself to go back to sleep – but when the puppy vomited all over my bed – it was game over.

today is my day off…although i wouldn’t know it.
i was downstairs throwing laundry in before my eyes were even open
can i just say…it is illegal how much laundry i can accumulate in a week.  i think i have a problem.
never mind the extreme rage i seem to get when i do my laundry downstairs – opposed to leaving the premises to do it
people have zero laundry etiquette and i am forced to become one of those angry volatile women
oy.
i have successfully put my clothes in the washer without hurting anyone…the dryer could be a whole other story.

i took today off of work to get things done.
sad isn’t it?
a full day off will help me battle all those things that get left behind
after laundry, will be a much needed oil change.
then cleaning…
i am so domestic it hurts lol

i might just go surprise someone at lunch…cause i love surprising people 🙂
and if time allows i may even fit in a trip to the doggie park
maaaybe

i was out of control this weekend
completely
i ate things i haven’t in well over a year.
but i also went out and had an awesome time with awesome people…so it all balances out.

not sure if the gym is going to get on my list of things to do today…
but with all the running around and sweating in that damn laundry room – i think i will be ok.

my weekend of fun and food cheating was worth me being a domestic  goddess today.
no regrets

wordpress counter



Site Meter

i did not rapture

not even a little bit.

i took all the things my ma ever told me…and made sure to do ’em

you know, always look your best…always wear clean underwear (who doesn’t do that?)

i gave myself a pretty pedicure last night.  purple.  although i am not sure why i cheaped out and didn’t pay someone to do it for me
i mean i can’t take it with me when i go right?
i heard somewhere God likes purple…so i thought that would be my perfect in.
i applied my makeup oh so perfectly…
spent all my savings placing billboards all around the city announcing the end of the world…
slept in my sunday best – like they did on the titanic.
and nothing.
nadda.
i chose a burrito from Burrito Boyz as my last meal.
it was amazingly sinful
i had no guilt.  not at all.
did i really want my last supper to be low carb???
i mean the whole world was gonna be shot in a couple of hours…right?

meh.
i am still here.

and now that i have not raptured…i am forced to go to the gym today – on my day off
and burn off the guilt that is my burrito

oh and i really didn’t do any of the above…
other than a really perdy pedi…
for my hot rockin’ time out tonight
(but it’s too damn cold to show ’em off – just my luck)

bahhhh humbug.

i’m glad everyone survived the end of the world…
then again…i haven’t heard from anyone in a while.
off to go make some phone calls!

wordpress counter



Site Meter

conversation with a 2 year old

let me just give you a little background.

i bought lil’ bee a book about potty training.  she loves it. reads it at least a million times a day.
but she doesn’t want to go potty -she totally gets the concept but doesn’t want to. she’s a stubborn kid, i don’t know where she gets that from 🙂
she will even barter with her mom saying “if you read the book to me on the potty i will go” – so the book gets read and no potty. lol
my girl 🙂

so she called me to tell me allll about her book.

and the conversation went like this…

lil’ bee:  and the ducky doesn’t wear diapers anymore!!!

me: really?  wow!  and what about lil’ bee, is she still wearing diapers??

lil’ bee: a long silence and then – i love you auntie bee (in a mealt your heart kind of way)

me:  i love you too baby.  is lil’ bee still wearing diapers?

lil’ bee: okaaaaaay.  gotta go.  bye auntie bee, love ya, ok bye mwwwaaahhhh

lol – i still don’t know how i didn’t give birth to this child.  she is so me
that was classic me…first a little buttering up to avoid answering an uncomfortable question…and then complete avoidance.
god i love that kid!!!!

people say we look a like but i do not see that at all…but she does have my little personality that’s for sure!!

my brother told me the other day….him and his wife shake their heads sometimes in disbelief…he says he has another bee on his hands
he says it like it’s a tragic thing
pfft…i say he couldn’t be luckier!!!
i am SO proud!

i love my lil’ bee!!!!

i just had to share 🙂

wordpress counter



Site Meter

this could only happen to me

sometimes i have to blog because i cannot believe what happens in my life
i wanna write it down before i forget!

i wasn’t sure whether to post this here or at the blog next door – but since it is “health” related…here we go.

i don’t know about your neck of the woods, but over where i am…we had such a gorgeous day.
i cannot remember the last time i actually saw the sun…it was just beautiful here!

today was also gym day…and the idea of walking into a NON air-conditioned gym just made me unhappy.
i can tell you i will NOT be renewing my membership.

anyways.

so i thought, why not go for a long walk.  you know, like the walks i took before winter set in.
the walks that helped me lose a bulk of my weight and gave me this gorgeous ass 🙂

the puppy has a ton of energy and i wanted to see how far she could go…
and so off we went.

it was sunny…blue skies gorgeous out there.  i was wearing my shades…life was good.

about half an hour in to my walk…it started to rain.  it was actually quite nice.
a light warm rain…
i love, love love walking in a summer rain.

but then things got crazy.

the sky went black.
and we were in the middle of a torrential down pour.
i mean i couldn’t see it was raining so hard.

then, the puppy vomited…twice.
no rhyme no reason…
and she had three poops and i had two poop bags…you do the math.

did i also mention i was in the middle of a torrential down pour?

we were at least a half hour away from home…and it was not letting up.

i am not sure if i mentioned that my puppy is a diva
i have no idea where she got that from!!
so she decided she had enough and stopped dead in her tracks and just sat on the sidewalk
she wasn’t budging.
i got her to move under a tree…that really provided no shelter…
my phone was getting soaked…and i was sure it was going to die.

after some coaxing i was able to convince her we had to go.
we started walking…very fast…and i heard yelling.
the yelling would not stop.
as i turned around…two ladies were motioning me over to their house…
they offered us to wait it out on their porch with them

i almost said no…i have no idea why…but i ran over and thanked them over and over.

we made small talk, they loved the puppy…and then finally one of the ladies offered me her umbrella so we could get home.

how amazingly sweet????

the rain let up a little bit so i decided to give the lady her umbrella back and race it home.
they offered me a towel…and also said if i were ever back by the house to stop by for some asparagus they were growing in their garden.

i thanked them again and was honestly a little overwhelmed at the kindness of these 2 strangers.

we made it home.  soaked to the bone.
i peeled off my clothes…dried my hair and put on my fat pants.
i looked in the mirror and thought i looked absolutely amazing with my waterproof mascara running down my face…
i am surprised i didn’t terrify those wonderful women!!

as i walked in to the main room, i looked out the window.

no rain.
nothing but blue skies and sunshine.

just my luck.

i am done.  officially home bound to chill out and enjoy the quiet solitude.
the puppy is beside me shaking, and i am all bundled up in my sweats…and it’s 20 degrees out there.
oy vay.

i deserve an iced coffee…but knowing my luck, as soon as i walk out the door…i may get struck by lightening.

maybe the gym wasn’t a bad idea after all.

wordpress counter



Site Meter

best.text.ever

i got this text from a friend.

i absolutely love her.  she plays on the fact that i am a very visual person.
Anyways…this text made my day…big time.

                   “if you were to take a pear and stand it up on it’s skinny side
                   and then put a peanut on top…
                   that’s what i am staring at in the mirror

wordpress counter



Site Meter