Daily Archives: April 20, 2011

issues

i have some

lol

there was a big meeting today…and as all big meetings go…there were left over treats.

my desk seems to be the area of temptation..seriously.  all extremely fattening food ends up right beside me.

most days i have willpower that would knock you on your ass.
this time the treats knocked me on my ass.

ya know, with the learning curve i am going through right now at work, and the stress this role involves…
i had no hope.

none.

the brownie was mine.

i ate it…and i loved it…and i loved it some more.

today was supposed to be my night off at the gym.

instead i ended up there…on a mission.  45 minutes of intense elliptical…never mind the weights before hand
just to kill the guilt.

the rational part of my brain says chill out bee…it was a brownie….

the perfectionist in me…said…suck it up lady…you did it to yourself.

i gotta tell ya…i feel worlds better now.

that is all 🙂

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i am a superstar

going to the gym with my gym buddy is fun!  no other entertainment required.
no ipod or anything…just us.
we kinda have that unspoken language…where just one look or head gesture can entertain us forever, or make us pee our pants from laughing.
it’s good times 🙂

we can’t go to the gym together alllll the time.  life happens.  sometimes something comes up for one of us where we have to change our schedules up and more than likely go alone.
going alone is not scary for me anymore…but it does get a little boring.

enter last week.

i went to the gym twice on my own.
not a problem.

the one day i went prepared…my ipod fully charged (which reminds me…it loses it’s charge in 24 hours…what is up with that??)
so anyways, i had my tunes to keep my brain busy….cause face it…staring at yourself in the mirror while you are on the elliptical for half an hour can get rather boring…unless dr. oz is on…but i digress…

i left the gym that day feeling perturbed.  totally irritated.
it was a new group of people that i had never seen before…and i felt like everyone was watching me.
it was the creepiest feeling ever.

i was kicking some serious ass on the elliptical and kept feeling a set of eyes on me…staring and staring.
at one point i made eye contact with her…and gave her a look…a look that only i could give.  a look of annoyance…and full of attitude.
i thought…this chick must be floored at how awesomely i rock this elliptical!!  she wants to be JUST like me…
cause really who doesn’t?
i thought my fancy foot work impressed her…cause it impresses me to no end that i don’t fall off that thing…being accident prone and all.

i thought about it for a couple of days….
i thought about all the staring…how uncomfortable i felt…
and it dawned on me.

that’s the day i was listening to my ipod.

let me just set the scene for you.

when i am listening to music…i am in my own world.
nothing else exists.
in the tub, in the car, outside in public…you get the idea.
that is one of the reasons i started listening to the boring radio at work…
cause when i would listen to music i actually loved…i would break out into song randomly.
i mean full out song.
to the point where coworkers would smile…and make comments on my voice…
oops…was that out loud?
i always think i am using my inside voice…but really…i couldn’t be louder if i tried.

i remember quite clearly that i was rockin’ the elliptical while listening to an array of my favourite up beat songs.

adele came on…she had me rolling in the deep.

i was grooving on the elliptical…and i am pretty sure when my favourite parts of songs came on
i became a full blown super star.
it’s like a muscle spasm…you can’t control it…it’s just gonna happen.

i don’t know how loud i was…or how silly i looked…cause i am sure i had a smile on my face…
rockin away…and then wailing away

“The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all”

i am pretty sure…almost 111110000% convinced i was using my outside voice that day.

to my fellow gym peeps.  i am sorry.  no one needs to hear that.

from now on, Dr. Oz it is.

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