365 days – a year revisited

the number to the left is significant to me for several reasons.
one – it is my favourite number.  two – it is the day that i was born, and the third,
this is the amount of weight in pounds i have lost in the past 365 days.
18 pounds might not sound like anything much, but for me…it’s a lot.
and really this is about the journey.  what brought me right here.

the actual anniversary of my biggest life change is tomorrow.
but since i started this on a Monday…i thought it appropriate to reminisce today.

last year at this time…i made a life altering decision.  sure, initially i was forced into it…but it was the best push of my life.

last year at this time…i was tired.  I was so tired with the direction my life took, the decisions i was making, the people that i kept in my circle. tired of being sick.
i had had enough of everything that was negative and toxic in my life.  everything.
i was tired of crying all the time…feeling poorly about myself.  honestly…i felt so damn worthless.
all that toxicity was making me sad, depressed and very unhealthy.
i used food to make me feel better…and all it did was make me feel worse.

last year this time i remember sitting here…exactly where i sit now
a shell.
broken.
a total mess if i must be honest with you.
i hated the person i greeted in the mirror every single day.  and no it wasn’t just about the weight…it was about me.
everything i had become.
a person i didn’t like at all.

and there in that very moment began the letting go.
i did some major house cleaning.  i knew that i was better than the person i was representing.
better than everything i allowed in my life.
and so the letting go began.  in every single aspect of my life.
the fridge was immediately cleaned out.  anything and everything toxic was thrown away. all the toxic food was replaced with healthy, whole foods.
friendships were terminated…immediately.  although some had been over for some time…they took up residence in my head…and so phone numbers, old emails…all contact information to old toxic ghosts were also deleted.
i am not kidding when i say that within moments…i felt a shift within myself.

i was like a woman on fire.  i took everything so seriously.
my health was my top priority.

when i started to notice slight physical differences…i also noticed a shift in my mental health.
i was happier, i smiled more, had more energy, i started to love my life again, and in turn loved the people who were in it like they deserved to be loved.
everything seemed to go hand in hand.

when i finally introduced working out into my life…that is when the major differences started to show.
the shape of my body changed…my energy level was out of control…
and the rush i get from a good work out is still indescribable.

it was like i found a top secret happy combination…and there was no way i was letting it go.

not that it was always easy…because it wasn’t.  there were times i wasn’t happy with my results…how slow the changes seemed to be coming. i just wanted to give up.  i cannot tell you how vital my friendships, both in real life and in the blogging world were and still are to my successes.
each and everyone of you know who you are…and i thank you from the bottom of my itty bitty heart.

i don’t know how many inches I’ve lost…
but i am not afraid to tell you what size i used to be and the size i am now.

i went from a muffin top size 4  (really a size six) pants…and i am now a curvy size zero.
i went from a medium blouse to an extra small blouse.

my work out pants are an extra small.

i am 3 pounds away from my goal weight!!

i have attached a picture of my transformation…just to show people…before they feel the need to attack my size…that i am a healthy girl.
that sometimes when you are small boned…just tiny in stature…that a size zero is normal.
so please…i ask for no negative comments.  not today.
today is my day.

the first picture was taken 3 months in to my new lifestyle, when i took my solo trip to another country.  at this point i had already started working out and lost a bulk of my weight.  knowing that…i kinda cringe when i look at that picture.  i thought i was looking pretty damn good at that point…lol
my father god bless him –  loves this picture.  he likes me with a little chunk.
anyways…the only other before pic i really have was taken in my bra and underwear…and i would never have the guts to post that publicly anywhere..so the first picture will have to do.
so..take a look.  i think at least 15 of the pounds i lost were all boobie! lol

Since you have all been faithfully by my side through my journey this far…i want to share my results with you.
thank you for walking with me…i am so blessed to have met so many wonderful people through this blog.

As i type this blog out, the song “About Love” by Alicia Keys keeps playing in my head.

anywhoooo….

Happy Anniversary to me 🙂

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8 thoughts on “365 days – a year revisited

  1. Maria

    Thank you for sharing such intimate, honest thoughts. I loved reading this post. I see now how 18 pounds can be substantial on a size zero body. That’s a lot of weight on a tiny frame. Congratulations and I’m proud of your willingness to let go and love yourself the way you deserve to be loved. It can’t be a coincidence that an ANGEL picture is how I found you.

    Oh and by the way….sorry for your loss, I know a good boobie surgeon. LOL!!!! Hang in there and go see Victoria. 😉

    Reply
    1. losing bee Post author

      i am so very thankful that you found me Maria. angels work in a myseterious way. thanks for the compliments. it was a tough write only because it was the truth. i can actually say without hesitation that i am in the best place i have ever been…and am so honoured that you share my journey with me.
      yo go girl!!
      and hmm, Victoria Secret you say??? lol. these girls need a lift!

      Reply
  2. Susan

    Happy anniversary to you, as well, Bee. Even though we have just recently” met” i always feel your genuine self in your posts and as a mama, I am very rpoud of you. I am so thrilled that you are feeling good inso many ways.

    And, wowza, you are just a beautiful girl!

    Reply
  3. jmjbookblog

    Happy Anniversary! 🙂 Your amazing smile says it all!(You look awesome! 🙂 Congratulations on your incredible journey and for sharing it with us…it’s been wonderful getting to know you and traveling along with you. 🙂 Have an extra special week! 🙂

    Reply

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