a letter to myself

dear me,
 
in four weeks it will be one year that you’ve changed your life drastically!
does it even feel real?
 
It’s been one tough year, so many losses and let downs, but through it all you kept yourself centred.
oddly enough it has been one of your best years to date too.
way to go you!
 
you’ve changed so much.  i know you see it.  how could you not?!
not just physically, although that would be the most obvious change.
do you notice how much happier you are?  do you catch yourself smiling?  because you do that alot.
and that laugh…it’s nice to hear again.
 
i heard that you are singing again.  no…i know you aren’t a pro…but at least you sing…belt out the notes no matter how off they may be…cause singing makes you happy…and you have stifled your voice far too long.
you are energetic and bouncy again.  you are the crazy one in the room…and don’t care who is watching you.  i love goofy bee who makes others laugh.  i think alot of people missed her.
nice to see you’ve taken alot of the serious outta life.  i see your worries roll like water off your shoulders these days.  not to say you aren’t human…things of course still bother you.  but you deal with it and don’t let it consume you.
 
and who would have ever thought you would have travelled to another country all on your own??  good thing you did..cause i do believe it’s one of your top 5 favourite moments yes?
the you a year ago would never have done that…
 
you’ve joined a gym…and love it. 
whoa.  slow it down.
i can’t even believe it…and i know you can’t either.
i hear you are excited about all the classes and can’t wait to try them. 
look who you have become!
did you ever think you would go to the gym without someone dragging you by the ears? 
me neither!!!
 
there have been a ton of changes in your life this past year.
last year was bad…i know.
i see how you reflect sometimes and get sad at where you were and how you let yourself go.
i see how sad you feel for who you were then.
all the mistakes, bad decisions…how much you didn’t like or care for yourself.
you wonder why you were so mean to yourself…so destructive.
why you allowed negativity in to your life..drama…bad people.
it’s the laws of attraction baby…you get what you put out there in to the universe.
and you dear bee put out a lot of crap…and oh the crap you got!
 
and see what you are getting now?
nothing but love, light, positivity…health…great friends, great life, great everything.
sure there’s still crap…there will always be crap…but you don’t allow it to stay.
 
you are still you.  the core of you will always be the same.
but my oh my how you’ve grown.
 
so don’t get discouraged when things seem to be going at a snails pace.
when sometimes you get frustrated that you don’t see what you want to see
all your work is paying off…every second of the day…
you are doing amazing.  don’t forget that…cause i know how easy it is to forget.
and if you do forget…
there is always that lovely before pic in your bra and underwear lol!!
if that doesn’t show you how far you’ve come…nothing will.
 
just thought you needed a reminder…that you are made of awesome.
you believe everyone else who tells you…so start believing you!
 
4 more weeks baby!!!
 
love forever,
me.
xo

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