the c-word

i hate it.
 
Cancer.
 
Over the past 2 days i found out that 2 more sweet, succulent souls have passed away from this relentless disease.
that makes 3 people in less than a month.
and this makes me so sad and angry.
 
I am not ignorant enough to believe that it only affects my world and the people i love.
i understand that thousands of people a day are given this life sentence.
but how can i not personalize something so personal?
 
and so as death goes, it makes you take inventory of your life.
 
am i doing everything right?  am i living a squeaky clean existence which will guarantee i make it to the ripe old age of 99?
not only am i taking care of my health, but am i treating those people i love as i should?
 
 
 the truth is…it doesn’t matter.
 
what i have learned through these 3 deaths this past month….
is that cancer doesn’t care.
cancer is not racist.
it doesn’t care if you are 36 or 74.
it doesn’t care if you live your life as a healthy active person, or if you abuse your body.
 
it’s like it does the eeny meeny miney mo
and when it’s your time…it’s your time.
the end.
 
I am still going to give it my all…do my best to be the healthiest bee i can be
there is so much i can improve and work on…
you know…to make me indestructible….Super Bee.
sigh
i wish
 
sometimes it just makes you wonder what it’s all about you know?
 
it just makes me think…and really, i already think too much
 
and so…for just this one time….i will not be a hard ass and say:
 
hey…i love you – just in case you were wondering.
I love you.
 
don’t ever expect me to say it again
i do have an image to uphold
🙂


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3 thoughts on “the c-word

  1. jImjbookblog

    You are such a sweetie…I love you! 🙂 Right now I am being treated for a pre-cancerous patch of skin on my face. I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to keep out of the sun thinking that would make sure I wouldn’t have to worry. I lost my sister, she was three years older than I, in 2001 to liver cancer. She was only 57 and sometimes I think that it’s not right that I am now older than she will ever be.

    Reply
    1. losing bee Post author

      oh jm
      i understand how stressful that is. i will keep you in my thoughts.
      i am sorry for the loss of your sister.
      as much as we understand that death is inevitable…it still hurts like hell 😦

      Reply
      1. jmjbookblog

        Yes, it sure does hurt. I’m just grateful that my parents were both strong in their religious convictions and I was raised with a deep faith in God and an existence that doesn’t end on planet Earth. 🙂

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