Monthly Archives: November 2010

what were you thinking???


(said in my best Dr. Phil voice)After bouncing around for 45 min getting my dance on….i was multi tasking and listening to Dr. Phil.  I love my time shifting channels 🙂
anyways his show was about weight loss and the Christmas holidays…and how some significant others sabotage their partner’s success.
It was interesting to listen to actually.  You know, some partners make it sound like they are so supportive of you, but set you up for failure because of their own insecurities.
it’s kinda sad.
this one couple was on, and the lady had gone from a size 8 to a size 20.  She had gained well over 100 pounds.  Her husband owns a catering company – and does a lot of the cooking.
anyways he loves her just the way she is…and doesn’t want her to lose weight.
she is clearly unhappy and uncomfortable in her own skin and wants to lose the weight….
and then the truth comes out that he doesn’t want her to lose the weight because other men would look at her…and he was afraid that she would leave him once she lost all the weight.
Have you been there?
I was there when i was younger.  there were people in my life that were very happy to have me be a chunky monkey…losing weight was a big insecurity to them.
what is it with some people???  seriously…some people are only content if you are unhappy.
I have had friends and partners like that.  Ex’s who preferred that i had junk in my trunk so no one else would look at me in that way…
and friends who thought it was a competition…and always had to be one up on me…
all the while i just didn’t give a rats ass.
My life is not like that in the least.  I don’t have a single soul who would intentionally want to sabotage my journey.
not a one.
i have a pretty big support system surrounding me.  cheering me on, holding my hand, listening to me and holding me when i am down and out.
the people in my life rock my socks!!!!
I am one lucky lady.
Do you have anyone in your life trying to sabotage your success??
and on to other important news…I’d like to wish my big brother (who makes beautiful babies) a Happy Happy Birthday.  Hope you have an awesome day!

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thinking thoughts

i am still trying to wake up…it was a fun fun fun weekend…and a pretty long night.
if you wanna send out some good luck vibes to my almost 12 year old dog…i wouldn’t mind 🙂
uh oh – i think my lack of sleep has made me delirious and rambly.
So…remember the doctor appt i wrote about in great length?
weelllllll….i went home that day and went straight to my scale…and my number matched his number.
so the scales are the same.
two days later i pulled it out…and i was 2 pounds less…which i expected considering everything i was physically dealing with just 2 days prior.
and then something in my brain went ding.
Could i actually use the scale to my advantage?
Could i actually get on that thing once a week to chart my success or my failures and not have a complete coronary doing so?
I had to think about that long and hard.
I had to remember why i started this in the first place. During this whole process i got really excited that my body was accepting my new life style in the form of weight loss.
the amount i have lost is nothing to sneeze at.  actually it’s rather impressive.
and so my focus shifted…and it became more about losing weight than feeling good
but really – don’t those two go together???
I think i can do it.  i think i can use the scale to my advantage…and finally not feel defeated and deflated by a number.
it will be my new motivation tool.
not every day…cause that will indeed make me go a little koo-koo…but once a week sounds healthy…and helpful.
i think i am gonna spend a lot of time at the blog next door today.  my brain is going a mile a minute and i got a ton of thoughts to chew.
thank god my thoughts are calorie free…cause man, i would weigh a TON at this rate.

Happy Monday – (that’s a little oxy moronish no? lol)

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i’m a happy bee :)


no grumpy pants today!  i am wearing my kick ass fantastic pants!!
I am in such good spirits lately.  ever have those moments where everything just seems to flow?
where you wait and wait and wait and then suddenly one day out of the blue everything comes together?
this is where i am.
even with lack of sleep…and the white stuff falling from the sky…it feels like nothing can bring me down. 
I’ve been doing some kick ass writing lately, which makes me happy.
I’ve been smiling since yesterday, feeling pretty amazing.  I found out that 2 people have gone ahead and purchased Turbo Jam because of me.  One friend has borrowed my beginner disc and is going to purchase it soon.
i know, doesn’t sound that big to you does it?
well…it’s huge for me.
I know I am a big promotor of Turbo Jam…it works for me.  I don’t expect it to be everyone’s “thing”…but i love it (as you must know by now!)
But it’s not the Turbo Jam per say that has me grinning.  It is the fact that i was told that i inspire people.
who woulda thunk????
I have inspired people to get off the couch and get healthy. 
I am blown away!
Now, these are people who have told me they went ahead and bought it.  Who knows if my blog has reached anyone else…people i don’t even know…i wonder if anyone is out there inspired to make changes.
i know there is one beautiful woman who reads my blog…that i have never met…who went ahead and purchased the dvd…and i was sooo very proud!!!  (everyone say hi to jm!)
It means something to me…to know that all of my hard work is being noticed, is being rewarded by getting other people healthier, more active.
I never thought i’d be that person.  you know…the one who works out and eats healthy and loves it….
and then get told i inspire.
life is funny.
So since i am in a happy mood…and have a kick ass weekend planned…let me leave you with a happy kick ass song.
this has been on repeat in my car for 2 days.  I generally don’t even like her….but i love this song  clickety click here
Happy Friday kids!!

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story telling


there are several reasons you will not find sugar in my house.
i guess the most obvious reason is…i rarely eat it.
i figure if my craving is that bad i can go to the store and pick up whatever it is that i want.
If i had sugar in my house, i am pretty confidant that i would eat it out of sheer boredom or laziness…
so again, better to just not have it in the house.
let me tell you a little story.
As a child, i was known to sleep walk.  Actually, so did my brother but this is my blog and it’s all about me 🙂
Anyways…i can’t imagine how tiring that was for my parents.  I am sure they had to sleep with one eye open at all times.
Once i was found walking down the street in the middle of the night.  Thank god it was a smaller city and all around just safer then…and i wore jammies 🙂
The years passed and i left the nest to go to college. 
I would visit home often, and my mother would always send me back with tons of food.  Most of that food was chocolate (mom is a huge sugar addict)
Not like your corner store chocolate.  We are talking Ferrero Rocher’s, Lindt chocolate etc.
The most peculiar thing would happen to these chocolates.
I would go to sleep at night and someone would sneak in to my apartment and eat the chocolate and leave the wrappers all over the kitchen counter.
I was perplexed!
That’s the story i would love to believe.
but alas, the chocolate thief was me.
Apparently i would get up in the middle of the night, unaware, and eat all the chocolate.
i have no clue why, and absolutely no recollection of doing it.
So, is that called sleep eating??
Eventually i stopped keeping chocolate in the house and i guess that curbed my late night sugar fest.
But, every now and then i am gifted chocolates…and to this day…i will get out of bed and eat them.  I find the evidence of my sins in the form of wrappers on my counter…or i guess as i have matured…my sleepy self manages to toss them in the garbage…
and seriously…zero recollection.
So now my solution is, no more sweets in my house.  Ever.
That kinda sucks for me cause mom gives the best chocolates at Christmas and Easter…
This summer i turned down a whole box of my favourite chocolates from Greece.
I just figure…what a waste of calories and carbs if i don’t even remember enjoying it.
And so..i say no to sugar.  My hips thank me for it.

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the numbers are in


i went to the doctor yesterday armed with a list (that’s a sign that you are getting older when you walk in with a list)
everything went almost perfectly.
I do believe i am as healthy as an Ox. (How healthy is an Ox anyways?) 
My doctor was very impressed with my eating/working out and weight loss.
I do have a work out related issue – apparently an inflamed tendon.  if Advil and ice doesn’t make it go away…a shot of cortisone will.  i told him it was an issue i could live with thank you very much.  no shots for this girl.
he is pretty much confidant that my cholesterol levels will show completely normal…and that everything looks awesome (OK, he didn’t say awesome but you know what i mean)
he was pretty much impressed with me…hello…who wouldn’t be 🙂
and then the dreaded weigh in.
i looked over at him and said…remember…i don’t want to know what i weigh
just my difference in weight from last year to this year.
So of course….
he told me what i weigh!!!!
insert vomity looking emoticon here.
he told me my weight.
if you follow my blog….you would already know i am anti-scales.  I am perfectly content not knowing how much i weigh.
ignorance is bliss kind of thing.
nothing good has ever come out of knowing that information.
I am not into numbers.  I don’t want to be defined by a number.  Now that i know what i weigh…i define myself.
my name is no longer Bee – i am # blah blah blah.
Everything went running through my head.  Well the number can’t be accurate….i was wearing heavy shoes, my clothes were still on, it’s that time of the month…of course i am heavier than normal.  I work out…so i am heavier because muscle weighs more than fat. etc etc etc
every.little.thing ran through my head.
Don’t get me wrong.  the number is not bad. Not bad at all. But who is to say what number is good??
I mean it’s an individual thing right?
Needless to say…i was traumatized.  Does this now give me a reason to follow my weight on my scale at home?  will i become obsessed with the number on the digital screen?
I’ve been there before….obsessing over a number that in the end means nothing at all to me.
I ended up literally throwing that scale out of the window and never looked back.
I know that i have lost weight…i know that my sizes have gone down…i know that i feel pretty damn good.
But then there he goes throwing a number in to my brain and i have been mulling it over in my head ever since.
I felt really good up until that point.  Now i feel that maybe my decision to stop trying to lose weight needs to be reconsidered.
see what #’s do?  they are the devil.  the devil i tell you.
he’s lucky i like him…otherwise i may have just pounded him!
But – i did lose weight.  in the double digits.  double digits my friends. (excuse me while i do my happy dance!!)
Let me say to those few people that felt it necessary to tell me “oh you’ve lost at least 20 pounds.  at least” that you were not only wrong…you also gave me a complex!
Being the height that i am, i can understand why some would assume that i may have lost twenty pounds
but 5 pounds on your body would look more like 10 pounds on my body.
so there.
it’s all relative.
So i am still chewing on my thoughts about this whole number thing.  I’ve come to the conclusion that i so need to get over it.
I am doing everything right…and seeing changes.  awesome changes.  it’s just a slllllloooowwww process.
Bottom line, i started making all these changes for my health.  first and foremost.
everything else is gravy.
my doctor says i’m made of awesome.  and who am i to argue with him?
And so i ended the day making dinner for my bff and hanging out catching up.  a little too late for little ol’ me…but worth it.  totally.
And…sorry for the blog yesterday.  i was testing out a theory…and i was right. but of course 🙂
So since it’s Hump Day and i am feeling kinda randy….i thought this song would be appropriate for today.

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the day has come


I am off to see my doctor tomorrow and i am quite excited!!

I know, who really gets excited about going to the doctor?  Apparently i do!

I am really, really curious to see what kind of results i get this time around.  It’s been since last August since i’ve seen him…almost a year and a half.
Last time i was there…was the first time i was told that my cholesterol is starting to go above normal.  just a little…but just a little is a little too much for me.
i knew the day would come…after all it’s hereditary, and so it is my god given right to blame my daddio 🙂

And then there is the whole weighing part of it i cannot wait for.  My doctor rocks my socks.  He has learned not to tell me my weight.  I can always tell by his body language if it’s good or bad anyways.

This time i will ask him what my weight difference is from last year to this year.  Not that it will really be indicative of how much i have lost, because i assure you i gained at least 5 pounds during the months of Dec-March last year for sure.  that is when my eating was totally outta control.  So i will add another 5 pounds to whatever he tells me.

I might share here, i might not…depending how shy i get about the whole thing.
yes…it’s true.  sometimes i am shy.

Anyways wish me luck!

On to other news…today (well really yesterday) is my 5 year anniversary at work.  I get a nice fancy watch for my years of service.  It’s amazing how quickly time flies.

Happy Monday kids!
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say what you will

i love McDonald’s!

Ok, perhaps i should explain what it is that i love before you start throwing rocks at me.
I am not talking about Big Macs or the fries….although an oreo and smartie mcflurrie would be kind of awesome right now.

As you already know, i love me my diet coke from there.

But what i adore equally is their Southwest Chicken Salad.
Can you say yum??

A Southwest Salad and a large diet coke for dinner would be absolute heaven!

A lot of times after my walk, i would pick up a salad and head home…cause face it…who really wants to cook after walking 5 miles?

Not I.

Anywhoooo….can you tell what i am craving?  well look at it…betcha you want one now huh? lol

So that’s all i got today.  Anyone want to bring me a salad and a large diet coke? (minus the crunchy chips)
It’s stir fry day at work….and i don’t know if i am strong enough to say no.
A salad could potentially stop me from making a huge mistake lol

On to other most amazing news.  If you’ve gone to the blog next door you already know of my undying love for….Adele.

And so…you would simply understand that I screamed like a girl when i heard her brand new song yesterday…and blogged about it asap.
So i thought i’d share it here.  It’s amazing.  I dare you not to fall in love with her.

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kelly osbourne rocks my socks

she really does.
talk about transformation.
OK, to be honest….a couple of years ago i probably never would have thought to write a blog about Kelly.  at least not in the most positive light…
but she has been on my brain for the past couple of days…and i am just so very happy for her!!!
Lord knows she has had her struggles.  with being born and raised in the star studded light of her dad…to her addictions and her bad assed attitude.
she was just a lost little girl.
Have you seen her lately?
I have seen a couple of interviews with her…and I’ve seen her on Dr. Phil (yeah yeah) and the maturity and elegance this woman possesses is astounding!
She has made a lot of life changes.  She’s a recovering addict, she eats healthy and works out.
She has gone from hating her body, to treating it like the temple it is.
take a look for yourself.
I can’t get over how amazing she looks.  No, not just the physical transformation, although a 50 pound weight loss is not something to laugh at.
But she looks so happy now.  you see it radiating from her…oozing out of her pores…her eyes.
all the choices she made in her life brought her to here.
and i gotta say she looks freakin’ amazing!!
Most recently she did a photo shoot for Shape Magazine, and this was the first time in her life she wore a bikini.
I caught her on Entertainment Tonight and just loved her attitude…she said that her whole life she had been mocked and made fun of by the media for being a chunky – fat girl….and this photo shoot…in her bikini was like a big F-YOU to them.
you go girl!
Look at her cute little body on that cover!!!  when my belly looks JUST like that…can i be on the cover of Shape too? lol
I gotta say tho…i am so very tired of hearing comments like….”well she has all the money in the world to have a personal trainer and someone to cook for her, i’d lose weight too if i had that”
i don’t think so.
Sure, she has more opportunity than most of us could ever dream of.  She comes from money and has money…sure.
I am a paycheck to paycheck girl.  true, i cannot budget into my life a personal trainer or a dietitian.
but at the end of the day…there is no difference between Kelly and me…and you and you and you.
All the money in the world…will not do the work for you.
She may have more tools than you or i…but she has to do the work
and the work is freakin’ hard and takes time and dedication and a kick ass attitude
you cannot buy that….you make it happen
Amazing job Kelly
Be proud of everything you have accomplished!

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