S.A.S

i suffer from this.

it is an embarrassing yet easily correctable syndrome.

it’s not something i easily share, but i am not oblivious to the hushed whispers and giggles behind my back.
i hang my head in shame.

S.A.S my friends, stands for Saggy Ass Syndrome.

let me be clear…it’s not my actual ass that sags, yet the pants that house said ass.

Apparently when i lose weight…one of the first places it leaves is my butt.  My butt and my stomach.

It may sound like i am complaining.  Perhaps a small part of me is…but really I am not.

I am just at that point, where my clothes aren’t fitting right.  My work clothes especially.
it makes me feel unkempt and frumpy…like a big ol’ bag lady.

I refrain from talking about this with my friends…especially my coworkers (you know who u are)
because all they do is make fun of me…they have no sympathy for me and my dilemma
i get the poor you, you are losing weight…we feel sorry for you shpeel

Let me be clear…i am not complaining about losing weight.  i actually do the happy dance in my head over it every single day.
the problem i have is that i financially cannot afford a new wardrobe…
and so i deal with what i have….and put on my saggy ass pants one leg at a time just like everyone else

meh…i have the perfect excuse to go shopping…and i can’t
now if that doesn’t suck as much as having a saggy ass…i just don’t know what does.


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One thought on “S.A.S

  1. pg

    My ass ain’t saggy, it’s more like it’s full-to-burstin’

    My son calls it my “Honky Tonk Ba Donka Donk”

    Reply

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