i have a blog – you know – about health and weight loss
let me tell you something.
i’ve been lost.
so very lost
i haven’t seen the inside of the gym since last February, although i see it every single day from the outside.
i’ve had good intentions. honestly.
but truth be told…i’ve been bummed out.
alot has happened…and i let negativity get the best of me.
i’ve been through some serious life changes. lost some people that meant the world to me.
so i decided…not to care.
it wasn’t a conscious decision.
i think it was…
i just couldn’t move.
it was easier to sit on my couch and feel badly.
because it almost felt wrong feeling good.
i’ve maintained pretty well considering.
obviously i’ve gained some weight – and i feel so sluggish and blah it’s unbelievable.
but i still fit into my clothes.
let me tell you something. just because you fit into your clothes – doesn’t mean you should be wearing them.
it’s an all consuming thing…this thing that i am living through.
i hate feeling poorly…and yet i contribute to it daily.
i forget sometimes that i have people in my life that love me unconditionally…just the way i am.
how is it that i let those that love me with conditions affect me more than those that love for exactly who i am?
it’s true…my time is limited. i don’t know where i could possibly fit in the gym these days.
and so it’s easier to just sit here
and feel badly about it.
i have motivation – somewhere in there
i’ve got all the work out dvd’s i could ever want.
and i have good intentions…and a gym right next door.
i’ve let this thing hurt me more than it should.
i’m actually letting it win – by not doing anything about it.
it is what it is…and it’s not going to change.
it’s a new chapter in my life i gotta get used to living.
it’s just hard when people you love – stop loving you.
it changes you.
besides, wordpress renewed my domain without giving me any notice…so i have a year to fill this space up.
so sadly – you are stuck with me.
truth is…i want me back
i want to feel comfortable in my skin again
i want to feel healthy and energetic…and ok.
i’ve let all this crap affect me for way too long – that i can’t use it as an excuse anymore.
i just need help.
just wanted to come here to let you all know – that i am on my way
i am coming back…
if i don’t – evil wins
and i am better than that
better than them.
help me find my mojo?